Betty Herbert’s new book, The 52 Seductions, is
released this week, and has just been reviewed on Night and Day by the author Christina Hopkinson. We’re delighted to publish a special
Spotify Sunday selection from Betty herself — one channeled through her two protagonists, Betty and Herbert, aka her and her husband. Here it is:
Rewind to when I was 18 and about to go off to university. I have only known Herbert for eight months, and everyone (even the sad old men who prop up the bar in the pub where I work), has told me it won’t last. I do not believe them, but in any case I’m anxious. I want something to cling to on the dark evenings when we’re apart. And I first came to know Herbert when he was DJing at my local night spot.
Me: Will you make me a mix tape?
H: [Sighing heavily] Everyone always asks me to make mix tapes.
Me: Yes, but I’m your girlfriend. You’re in love with me. It’s different.
H: But they take so long!
Me: It’s a labour of love! You can make it while entertaining yearning feelings for me.
H: Oh, alright then. But don’t make me write a track list. And it won’t be romantic.
Me: Fine. Whatever.
H: And bear in mind that I’ll basically fill it with the longest songs I know.
A week later, I am presented with the hallowed tape. I play it so much that it becomes an elemental part of my consciousness. I also drive the other occupants of my hall of residence quite insane with it. My friend, Beccy, still claims she can’t abide the Funk & Soul Show on 6 Music for this very reason.
Here are both the reasons for Herbert’s choice of tracks, and my interpretation.
Sunny – James Brown
Herbert: It’s a James Brown tune that isn’t funk, but still has a lot of his signature grunts and shouts throughout a mellow, soulful groove.
Betty: A romantic choice, although I remain a bit concerned it’s jazz. I’m Sunny, right? I was pleased with this.
Dancing Girl – Terry Callier
Herbert: This sounds like about three songs to me. It has folky bits, funky bits and jazzy bits. It’s epic.
Betty: Dreamy and quasi-mystical, while managing to reference The Twilight Zone: definitely a 3am song. When I first heard it, I was fixated on the dancing girl being a “vision in amber lace.” I couldn’t imagine that being a good look.
Turn Off the Lights – Larry Young
Herbert: Punchy bass and a sexy squealing female vocal, with some freaky electronics over the top all combine into a lovely funky groove.
Betty: Well, this is absolutely filthy, isn’t it? I mean, really, it makes me blush. I heard this and thought, “Oooh! H. wants to get jiggy.” As it turns out, we never have sex to
music, because he gets too distracted. I wouldn’t put it past him to break off mid-session to check the sleeve notes.
Sunshine of Your Love – Ella Fitzgerald
Herbert: I love the way this starts with a fanfare of punchy horns. It’s quite a surprising treatment of the song, but it works so well. I now know this better than the original. To me, this
is ‘Sunshine of Your Love.’
Betty: This was the first song we played when we arrived home after getting married in secret in 1999. The second song was called ‘Love is a Four Letter Word’, because H. doesn’t listen to lyrics at all and so thought it was a romantic choice.
Season of the Witch – Julie Driscoll, Brian Auger and the Trinity
Herbert: I heard this version before the Donovan original. Julie Driscoll’s voice just has a perfect quality for this track. A minimal, almost bubbly arrangement underpins her magnificent singing.
Betty: I have made it my life’s work to imitate Julie’s look on the cover of this album. Aside from that, what I principally enjoy this track for is Julie saying, ‘Not too fast’ as the intro kicks in.
Underwater Love – Smoke City
Herbert: A lovely Brazilian rhythm, maybe even some shadows of the James Bond theme. It’s a dense, watery sound-scape, but it’s quite understated at the same time. Lazy-sounding and spacious, nothing’s rushed.
Betty: I’d argue that this is also a “getting jiggy” track to be honest. Utterly ruined when it was re-recorded for the Levis commercial. We can cope without it being translated into English, guys.
No Trouble on the Mountain – Richard ‘Groove’ Holmes
Herbert: The best gig I ever went to was organist Richard ‘Groove’ Holmes at the Jazz Cafe. A superbly funky set, with him moaning the organ lines as he played them. Blew me away. This
is not a typical RGH track, but nice to hear some vocals to complement his brilliance.
I Want To Be In The Land of Milk and Honey – Vicki Anderson
Herbert: Carleen Anderson’s mum. A huge voice, brilliant drums and big orchestral sounds in places. Lush strings.
Betty: I see this track and the last one as the same thing basically, but I prefer this one. Both are dreaming about heading off to a utopia.
Inner City Blues – Sarah Vaughan
Herbert: By far the grooviest track I’ve heard by Sarah Vaughan. A fantastic arrangement of the Marvin Gaye classic, and Vaughan’s jazzy voice and scatting seem to work somehow.
Betty: Inevitably, this was the first time I heard Inner City Blues. I love a political song. I also love the genderless quality of Vaughan’s voice here.
Sombre Guitar – Danser’s Inferno
Herbert: I love the way that this is really fast compared to the vocal; not that the vocal is slow either. It’s just so happy.
Betty: I managed to impress the DJ at Plastic People one night in 1999 by knowing this song. Shortly afterwards, I was sick in the loos. I’m still hoping he didn’t notice I was blind drunk. But thanks, H., for making me look cool for a full ten seconds.
Wesley Don’t Surf – Red Snapper
Herbert: There’s a bizarre magical moment in this track when there’s a resonance between the drums and the bass. It’s just a great rhythm. A trashy, loose sound, but the bass line is just perfect.
Betty: This was put on the tape against my express wishes. H. was obsessed with the Red Snapper album at the time, and I found all those bubbly bass lines really annoying. It sounds better now it’s not on heavy rotation at Maison B&H though.
I Don’t Want Nobody – Eddie Harris
Herbert: Musical maverick Eddie Harris is singing through a trumpet on this, and even the organ is a “guitorgan| of his own invention. When this starts, you think it’s going to be really awful but, before you know it, it’s got you. It builds slowly and creeps up on you until you’re in love with it. Bonkers.
Betty: This is such a hangover record. Cold dawn and slight feelings of horror. In a good way.
Thème de Yoyo – Art Ensemble of Chicago
Herbert: A great jazzy, orchestral sound, but somehow they managed to make the orchestration quite loose. It’s not too rigid; there’s space, freedom and movement. I love the bit that sounds like it’s rewinding.
Betty: A prime example of H. not listening to lyrics. This is a whole song devoted to telling someone how dreadful they are, with some really quite creative insults: “Your body’s like camembert / Oozing from its skin / Your fanny’s like two sperm whales / Floating down the sand.” I take it we’re using the American translation of “fanny” here.
Atomic Moog 2000 – Coldcut
Herbert: Sounds like a blaxploitation chase scene fused with retro-electronica, tubular bells and some post-apocalyptic samples. What more could you want?
Betty: I once feel asleep with my walkman on, and woke up to this, nearly having a heart attack. Love it, though.
Dancing Drums – Ananda Shankar
Herbert: Ananda Shankar is the perfect fusion of Indian and Western sounds. He’s always been a bit of an obsession of mine, but I’ve never found anything better than this. Big drums, groovy sitar and lots of Moog. To me, he’s a genius.
Betty: We’ve just had a small row about whether that’s in fact Moog or overdriven Hammond. This is what’s become of me after 15 years with Herbert. I also ended up with a cat called Moog at one stage. I have been – musically – occupied. This would be one of my Desert Island Discs, though, because nothing reminds me more of H.
You can listen to the playlist on Spotify here.
Betty runs the monthly Mucky Book Club, a reading group for people who like good books with rude bits in them. You can read about that, and her new book, at bettyherbert.com.
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