Star vehicle

Star Trek: The Future Begins
12A, Nationwide

Listen, I’m no Trekkie, I don’t speak Klingon, I’ve never boldly been anywhere in the least bit exciting — my fear of motorways has always hampered me horribly in this respect — and I don’t like action epics but Star Trek: The Future Begins is quite fun. I’m not saying it’s fantastic fun, or the most fun you can have with your clothes on or, if you’re my age, off, but it is certainly vastly smarter and more enjoyable than most films of this type. Yes, there is a lot of bish-bash-boshing and, yes, the plot is barely comprehensible and, yes, there is a baddie intent on global domination rather than, say, free dental care for all and a happy-smiley sticker, even if you are a wuss. (Just once in my lifetime I would like to see a baddie intent on that, plus I would like a sticker.) But? It also has some spectacular special effects and, more importantly, some pretty decent emotional hooks, particularly in the form of Spock (Zachary Quinto) whose film this might actually be. Spock, being half-human and half-Vulcan, is torn between the two worlds, and struggles to be as ruthlessly emotionless and logical. I haven’t given much thought to Star Trek over the years and do not intend to now, but I should confess that I have always wondered this: when Spock has a bad dream, is it a logistical nightmare?

Anyway, enough of all that, and on to the plot, or at least what we can understand of it. Well, as there have already been six TV series and ten feature films, there was only really one way the franchise could go, and that is backwards.