I have often toyed with the idea of writing a book called What They Don’t Teach You at the Elephant and Castle Journalism School. Under such headings as ‘How to Fiddle Your Expenses’, it would contain the kind of information that is usually only available in the saloon bar of the White Swan, the legendary Daily Mirror pub known as the Stab in the Back.
A whole chapter of the book would be devoted to the ticklish subject of how to extract fees from people who expect you to contribute your services for nothing. If you’re a relatively successful journalist, scarcely a day passes without you being asked to appear on the radio, or be on a panel, or give a ‘talk’. There’s never any mention of a fee, presumably in the hope that you’ll be too embarrassed to raise the subject. For the first few years of my professional life I never once asked to be paid for this extra-curricular work — I just happily agreed to do whatever was requested. Perhaps if I had spent more time in the Stab I might not have been such an easy mark.
The turning point for me came in 1993 when I wrote a profile of James Whitaker, at that time the Daily Mirror’s royal correspondent. In the course of the week I spent with him, he was constantly fielding calls from radio and television producers wanting him to comment on the latest royal story and he had a stock way of dealing with these requests. ‘Am I talking in my own time?’ he would drawl. There would always be a pregnant pause as the person on the other end processed this question and after a few seconds the penny would drop. He was asking if he was going to be paid.
I’ve never been brave enough to use this line, but Whitaker taught me a valuable lesson: Don’t ask, don’t get. Today, if I receive a call from someone angling for my services, I wait patiently for them to say their piece and then, almost as an afterthought, ask: ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got any sort of contributors’ budget have you?’ The answer is nearly always no, but just occasionally you might be able to squeeze a few quid out of them.
If there is no ‘contributors’ budget’, that doesn’t mean you should automatically turn them down. As James Whitaker said, ‘There are some people you just don’t say no to’ and I’d include most news and current affairs programmes on Radio 4, BBC2 and Channel 4 on that list. These are what I describe as ‘loss leaders’. You might not get paid to appear on the Today programme, but simply being on it drives up your price on Sky News. The general rule is that the more prestigious the programme, the less you can expect to be paid. Thus, the standard fee for appearing on Question Time, which requires a week’s worth of preparation, is £150, whereas the fee for appearing on the Weakest Link is £2,500.
The art of earning a decent living as a member of the Commentariat is to get the mix right. Clearly, you don’t want to say yes to The Jeremy Vine Show (£50) too often or you’ll end up looking like a rent-a-gob. But on the other hand, if you always say no they’ll stop asking. John Kampfner, the ex-editor of the New Statesman, recently told me he’d decided to give up appearing on radio and television altogether. His brand is so pristine that the Richard Bacons and Nick Ferraris of this world never call and he’s confined to the ‘loss leaders’. I sympathise with his frustration, but the answer is not to impose a blanket ban. Rather, he should continue to polish his brand by appearing on programmes like the Daily Politics and make it clear to Five News that he’s available for the right price.
Not all journalists can see the logic in this. I recently tried to persuade Michael Coveney, the ex-drama critic of the Daily Mail, to contribute to a film I’m making for the Culture Show on the decline of the professional critic. He didn’t respond directly to me, but instead wrote something on his blog. ‘Toby should know all about the decline in theatre criticism standards since he contributed to it himself,’ he harrumphed. ‘Of course, when the “no fee — we’re on a tight budget” caveat came through I told them where to stuff it.’
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