I think this is probably the best intro you're likely to read all
Fair play to the Daily Mail. This is tabloid, er, catnip. As always, the story itself is a little sadder than the lede, but that's the kind of sentence you don't get to write very often. Hats off to Jaya Narain, the hack responsible for this gem.“
A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets into their curry after he was accused of kidnapping their three-legged cat.