For me little that is memorable, and even less that is sheer fun, has been penned about football, apart from Gary Lineker’s definition of the game as ‘Twenty-two men chasing a ball — and in the end the Germans win’.
For me little that is memorable, and even less that is sheer fun, has been penned about football, apart from Gary Lineker’s definition of the game as ‘Twenty-two men chasing a ball — and in the end the Germans win’. Horseracing, though, has always attracted both purple prose and anecdotage.
Sea The Stars’ winning of the 2000 Guineas, the Derby, the Coral Eclipse, the Juddmonte International, the Irish Champion and the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe has made it a special year for racing books. Most of us will never see as good a horse again and in Sea The Stars: The Story of a Perfect Racehorse (Racing Post, £20) the newspaper’s excellent team have put together a vividly illustrated record every enthusiast will treasure.
We forget the now veteran jockey Mick Kinane’s wry observation after their 2000 Guineas victory: ‘They said he couldn’t win the Guineas because he was a Derby horse. Now they are saying he can’t take the Derby because he is a Guineas winner.’ Sea The Stars was, of course, the first in 20 years to win both.
In Chinese culture eight is a lucky number and Hong Kong-based owner Christopher Tsui brought the same seven companions with him every time to watch Sea The Stars run. His mother Ling, who championed Sea The Stars’ dam Urban Sea, noted that in Chinese history ‘Emperors were all looking for a “Thousand Miles Horse”. The criterion was that the horse had to be calm, strong and tireless. He had to have a champion’s spirit and he had to have speed. However, they never mentioned the change of gear, the conformation and the beauty, so Sea The Stars actually has more qualities than the “Thousand Miles Horse” that our emperors so wanted.’
Trainer John Oxx quietly noted the horse’s exceptional athletic ‘presence’ but for me Alastair Down hit the button, too, when he observed how Sea The Stars, after looking vulnerable for a few strides, swatted away his challenger in the Eclipse. ‘I am all for pure class in the racehorse but for me it is never the whole story without a spot of blood, sweat and sinew thrown in.’ Truly exceptional horses have to have attitude as well as ability.
Marcus Armytage has turned out another entertaining collection of racing accidents and aperçus. Turn Me On, Guv (Racing Post, £16.99) chronicles the odd things that happen to racing folk in and out of the paddock. History now, but I liked the one about jump jockeys John Francome and Smith Eccles leaving the Stewards Room one day after an official had disqualified the latter and awarded the race to Francome. ‘He must be ****ing blind,’ said Smith Eccles in a stage whisper. ‘What did you say, Smith Eccles?’ demanded the steward, who had heard perfectly well. Cue a further stage whisper from Smith Eccles, ‘He’s effing deaf as well.’
Marcus records Harvey Smith’s comment on spotting the well-upholstered bloodstock agent David Minton, the man who puts the bon into bonhomie and who is married to the much slimmer Juliet . ‘When you see fat shepherd and skinny dog,’ the professional Northerner was heard to declare, ‘you can tell who’s does all the ’effing work!’
To get into a sportsman’s head, try Richard Dunwoody’s Method in My Madness (Thomas Brightman, £18.99), a chronicle of the mountain-climbing, ice-trekking, charity-walking challenges the former champion jockey has imposed on himself after being forced by injury to quit the saddle prematurely. Fast-forward the mini travelogues. Richard is not a travel writer. But this intriguing, restless man, fine company when you join him on the bookselling trail, fascinates on racing issues like the power of jockeys’ agents or what makes Tony McCoy tick.
Richard likes to present himself as shockingly unsentimental about horses. Interesting to learn then from Graeme Roe’s 100 Magic Moments of the Turf (Green Umbrella, £20) that he invited Charter Party, whom he rode to Gold Cup victory in 1988, to his wedding.
Graeme, a former rider and trainer, smartly decided to collect a century of favourite memories from racing people. I may not forgive him his choice of illustration for my contribution (though Mrs Oakley comes out well) but he has extracted some splendid stories. Read how Martin Pipe revolutionised British betting after walking in with two buckets stuffed with notes from a successful gamble in a Haydock seller. Then there is Cheltenham-trainer-supreme Nicky Henderson telling Peter O’Sullevan he needn’t learn how to pronounce River Ceiriog because it would never figure in the finish — only for the horse to sluice home at 40–1 by a record 20 lengths. Anthony Bromley reveals how an impending divorce affected the buying of the great Kauto Star, and there is Smith Eccles again on his Aintree ‘kidnapping by joyrider’ while sleeping in his car after his lady-love locked him out of their hotel. Racing folk do it every which way. And tell good tales about it, too…
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