Alex Massie Alex Massie

Thank Heavens for Godfrey Bloom

I was at a funeral on Friday and so late catching-up with the latest entertainment provided by UKIP. But, gosh, thank heavens for Godfrey Bloom. Not just because he and his ilk have injected some welcome craziness into British politics – the circus always needs new clowns – but because by doing so they have reminded us of the stakes involved.

Bloom – last heard decrying aid squandered on feckless Bongo Bongo Land – one-upped himself with his talk of sluts who fail to clean their kitchens properly. Sure, there was something refreshing about hearing Nigel Farage admit all this amounted to a disaster for UKIP but the bigger point is that it should concentrate Tory minds.

Far too many Tories seem to think UKIP might be rascals but rascals-with-their-heart-in-the-right-place. A little crude, a little uncouth but fundamentally decent types. You might not want to see them too often but they add to the gaiety of family life. Something like that anyway.

And there is, of course, a part of the Tory party that thinks UKIP are a useful way of screwing David Cameron’s courage to the proper sticking place. Without Le Farage Cameron would not be committing himself to renegotiating the terms of Britain’s EU membership. Nor, absent the UKIP knife to his back, would he be in favour of a referendum on the outcome of those (notional) negotiations. So UKIP are a handy ally.

So much orthodox Tory thinking goes. There are few real enemies to the right.

Except, of course, there are. The Tory leadership can never properly pacify the Kippers because, fundamentally, the Kippers neither want to be pacified nor expect to be so. They’re having much too much fun. And, besides, they despise David Cameron.

Cosying-up to UKIP – hoping for a “Dated Farage, Married Cameron” kind of outcome – is not a cost-free enterprise.

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