Peter Hoskin

The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Too much bang-bang, not enough kiss-kiss

A stuffed-crust pizza of a blockbuster

Ready to swoosh: Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man, aka Peter Parker [Getty Images/Shutterstock/iStock/Alamy]

Have you seen that pizza with a cheeseburger crust? If not, just imagine a normal pizza, except where the pizza ought to end — and civilised society begin — there’s a ring of about ten miniature burgers, all encased in dough. On top of each of those burgers is a greasy discharge of cheese. There’s also an option to add bacon.

I mention this because the opening of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 feels much the same. It serves up pizza: a pre-credits flashback in which the parents of Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man, struggle to upload data to YouTube, or wherever, while battling a gunman on board an exploding plane. But then it can’t help itself from adding burgers, bacon and cheese: we flash instantly forwards to Spider-Man, aka Peter Parker, chasing criminals through the grid map of New York City. They’re driving a security truck! There are dozens of cop cars in pursuit! He’s swooshing from skyscraper to skyscraper! Watch out for the plutonium! And that guy on the road! And the jokes!

It’s almost like a response to the consensus criticism of the first of these films, released in 2012. The director Marc Webb wasn’t just chosen by the dictates of nominative determinism, but because he had created the offbeat rom-com (500) Days of Summer (2009). That made him perfectly suited for the teenage romance and anxiety of Spider-Man. But could he deliver awesome spectacle? Could he blow things up real good? No, they said. The first film’s lizard-man villain was rather forgettable. There was a disproportionate amount of kiss-kiss to bang-bang.

Except I quite enjoyed that more understated version of the superhero movie. It proved the old saying: ‘Better kiss-kiss than pizza with a cheeseburger crust.’ And this sequel proves that again.

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