The curse of semi-invisible road signs

‘We’re sorry your experience with us has not been a good one,’ said the press officer at Surrey Police.

‘You misunderstand me,’ I told the chap. ‘I didn’t expect being cautioned for breaking the law to be a good experience. In fact, I think it’s very important that breaking the law and being caught is not a good experience.’

I explained to the officer who had telephoned in response to my enquiry that I was not complaining about being fined for not having an MOT. I was unhappily happy with that bit. The bit I was questioning was where the young officer issued me with a penalty notice that hadn’t printed properly so I couldn’t read the offence number or the phone number to call to pay it, and the bit where he and his colleague left me broken down and stranded at the roadside with my battery drained, having detained me for an hour with my lights on while they checked every inch of my car.

The press officer said he would look into it and come back to me with a comment. But he never did. And nor did the person he said he was going to task with it when I chased it up.

‘I’m just catching up with this because it’s been passed to me,’ said a female officer, sounding harassed, a week later. ‘It’s taken me a while but I’ve now spoken to the special constable involved who has given me his version of events. I’ll get back to you with a statement.’

But she never did. So I can’t tell you his version of events, which I don’t expect would be any different from my version, because why would it be?

One thing the police did do, however, once I rang the press office to ask for comment, was arrange for an email to be sent to me containing the ticket details I could not read on the half-printed ticket, and the payment phone number.