I tend to get very racist when using the running machine my wife bought for me a while ago because, as she put it, “you’re a fat fuck.” I usually howl abuse about Somalians, but I’ve also been known to have a go at the Roma and the Portuguese. I hate working out and like to have a nation at hand to blame (quite wrongly, of course) for my predicament. Luckily nobody is around to hear me inciting racial and religious hatred (I have a go at the Scientologists and the Muslims sometimes, when I’m bored of dissing the Somalians). And then there’s this: My little daughter, aged three, came up to me the other day and said: “Take me to the toilet, nigger.” Incredulous, I asked her to repeat what she had said and she did, giggling. I have no idea where she got the word from – even on the running machine I don’t dare say stuff like that. I thought for a moment about ringing the police, as I had been mortally offended. Bang her up.
What a fatuous, expensive, inhuman, cringing and counter-productive piece of legislation it is. That people can be hauled before a court for “giving offence”; a genuflection to our tissue paper-thin sensitivities these days and our determination to make people suffer when they do something we do not like. I suspect I would disagree with Rowan Laxton about almost everything, and especially Israel. But to prosecute him for his views?