The strange tale of Wendi and Tone

Have you ever harboured affection for Tony Blair’s arse? According to reports, you may not be alone. Wendi Deng, Rupert Murdoch’s former missus, apparently yearned for Tony’s piercing blue eyes, sexy legs and, indeed, ‘butt’. I assume that means his arse, rather than some device perhaps situated in his garden and utilised for the capture of rainwater. She could always have bought her own one of those, maybe from B&Q.

Wendi and Tone, Wendi and Tone. The more unlikely a pairing reported at first sotto voce in the papers, the more probable it is that it’s true. Who’d have banked on the visually impaired Home Secretary David Blunkett and the Spectator publisher Kimberley Fortier? Not me. People told me about it and I said: ‘Pish’. Well, or something like ‘pish’. And I worked here at the time. Still do, for that matter. But I say it again – the more unlikely the reported pairing, the more probable it is that it’s true. Tone, though, has denied it, which Blunkett never did.