The turf: Loyalty can pay

Some alien force keeps attacking my laptop. Every few seconds my anti-virus security system pings me with an audible warning of attempted forced entry, a process which paralyses all thought and makes working in a library impossible. It clearly isn’t a hacker from the News of the World, so who could it be? My wildest surmise, rapidly dismissed by a sceptical Mrs Oakley, was that after the success of last winter’s Twelve to Follow some crazed punter is trying to get at my sources of information.