Trenton Oldfield makes about as much sense as the entrails of a chicken

I trust everybody enjoyed the boat race this weekend  Last week the editors of this magazine made me go through the purgatory of speaking with the person who disrupted last year’s race.

Listeners may come away with the idea that, contrary to reports, Trenton Oldfield was coshed most terribly upon the head by last years’ varsity oars. This would be a mistake. As a graduate of the London School of Economics, he has simply imbibed each and every one of the stupidities which the modern university has it in its power to bestow. The claims are general enough that they cannot be investigated (Britain has terrible ‘poverty’ and ‘elitism’ for instance – no meaningful definition and no need for facts) and whenever you try to pin one wild claim down you can find another one thrown up in its place. This is how someone speaks when they have taken the works of Noam Chomsky as a guide to life rather than the hilarious spoofs of a multimillionaire satirist.

After our discussion I did spend a few moments wondering over Trenton’s opinion until I reflected that trying to find sense in them was like searching for the future in the entrails of a chicken.