Up in the air

Like the War of Jenkins’ Ear in 18th-century Anglo-Spanish relations, Heathrow is becoming something of a totem in the fight for the soul of the Conservative party. Whether you prefer your new runways to the east or west of London positions you on the other great issue of the day: who should be leader. If you’re an MP with a constituency anywhere near west London, you’ll probably be in the Cameron camp, shifting uncomfortably in your brogues, wondering how best to perform the Yeo flip and support a third runway at Heathrow.

The alternative is of course the Boris camp, whose members think the PM’s plan pathetic. Brave, confident countries build big airports in anticipation of big planes. They do not spend years fiddling about, blighting homes and messing about businesses only to plump for a solution which will already be out of date by the time it is built. It is the classic battle between pragmatism and vision.

To Cameroons, Boris isn’t piloting his plan towards a smooth landing; he is performing a loop-the-loop which will end horribly in what is known in the business as ‘uncontrolled flight into terrain’. The problem for Team Boris is that hardly any of the players who would seem to be important in making the decision for an estuary airport seem to favour it. The government doesn’t want it. BAA, our biggest airport operator, doesn’t want it. BA, which can just about still claim to be our national carrier, doesn’t want it. Ryanair would rather fly out of a tin shed 100 miles from London if it was cheaper, so it certainly isn’t in favour. As for the environmentalists, forget it. They don’t want an airport at all, of course, but if they were going to have one, they would sooner see a suburb bulldozed than disturb one sacred mud-wading bird.