Strange atmosphere at PMQs. Our MPs seemed to believe that the Commons debate was a vital briefing session for Sir Keir Starmer as he prepares to meet President Trump in Washington. Everyone advised the PM how to handle himself. But it’s far too late. Sir Keir has already grovelled to his new master by pledging to buy bombs and bullets instead of spending cash on failed states overseas.
Kemi Badenoch, the Tory leader, joked that Sir Keir had slashed the aid budget on her personal recommendation. ‘I’m glad he accepted my advice. It’s the fastest response I’ve ever had from the Prime Minister.’
Sir Keir answered with facetious gallantry. ‘I’m sorry to let her down but she didn’t figure in my thinking at all.’ Labour’s chortling minions greeted this as if it were a deathless witticism. Kemi wanted to know if the enhanced defence budget would include the Chagos Islands deal or not. Sir Keir gave the same careful answer twice. When Kemi asked for clarification, Sir Keir huffed and puffed impatiently. He acted as if his answer hadn’t been understood because Kemi can’t add up.
‘If she asks the question again, she’ll get the same reply,’
Kemi rebuked him calmly. ‘Someone needs to tell the Prime Minister that being patronising is not a substitute for answering questions.’
A tricky moment for Sir Keir. This clip will be used against him in future election campaigns. It shows him as a preening smart alec who can’t bear slowcoaches. It’s a bad look but it’s the real him.
On the issue of Ukraine, Sir Keir sounded forceful and pragmatic. ‘No negotiation about Ukraine without Ukraine,’ he said. ‘That continues to be my position.’ He seems to have forgotten that president Zelenksy has already agreed on an outline deal with Trump. The idea that Britain still has influence in the world is a common fantasy in parliament.
Tory backbencher Neil Hudson begged Sir Keir to ‘invoke the legacy of Churchill’. He suggested that Britain will play a role in bridging transatlantic relations. It’s embarrassing to hear such antiquated twaddle parroted in the chamber.
Sir Keir would do better to admit that Ukraine is part of his re-election strategy. He probably wants a token British garrison dropped into eastern Ukraine where they can salute the flag and play the national anthem when he flies in to deliver a ‘morale-boosting’ speech at Christmas. Our toy soldiers will be under US command, as Sir Keir spelled out. ‘There has to be American backing,’ he said, acknowledging his role as Trump’s butler.
Sir Ed Davey of the Lib Dems made an important statement about world peace. Davey dreams of a Euro-army subsidised by a European re-armament bank. He hopes that the weapons-trafficking slush-fund will be set up by Sir Keir when he meets other European leaders in early March. ‘Make it happen,’ cried Sir Ed. The transformation of the cuddly Lib Dems comes as quite a surprise. Luckily, most people in Westminster treat Sir Ed as they might a vagrant babbling in his sleep.
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