There’s no rest, they say, for the wicked. Nobody, however, ever deigns to inform us what amount of downtime will be allocated to the incompetent. If the presence of Rachel Reeves in Wales this afternoon is anything to go by, they don’t get a great deal of rest either. In the midst of the summer holidays, our Playmobil-haired Chancellor had donned her hardhat and inflicted herself on Wales. As she stomped around Port Talbot it was hard to know where the plastic ended and the human began.
Nothing Reeves says bears even the tiniest semblance to reality
On the back of an interest rate cut, the Chancellor was proudly trumpeting – or perhaps that should be tromboning as she has a developed a sort of nasally baritone, like an animate common cold – Labour’s economic competence.
She lauded ‘the stability we’ve restored to the economy.’ There is a point I like to refer to as the ‘wolf’ moment, from the boy who cried it, where anything someone says can be immediately discredited as untrue. Notable people to have passed their wolf point at great speed and with flying colours include Meghan Markle, Keir Starmer and Boris Johnson. Ms Reeves must surely have reached hers now; nothing she says bears even the tiniest semblance to reality.
She went on to heap praise upon herself and her colleagues for the interest rate cut; a decision which rests entirely with the Bank of England rather than Number 11. What else will the Chancellor take credit for? The restoration of the Ozone layer? The fall of Saddam? Gravity?
The Chancellor also informed us that she was there to secure the redevelopment of ‘130 disused coal tips’ currently filled with industrial byproducts. Here, at least the Chancellor might be some use; nobody can recycle toxic old rubbish quite like her.
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