Last night lobby hacks gathered with their favourite SpAds in tow for the Westminster correspondents’ dinner. This year’s guest of honour was George Osborne, who proceeded to win over the crowd with a jibe-filled speech.
Osborne — who has previously accused the BBC of harbouring ‘imperial ambitions’ — did manage to find time to include a serious message alongside his many parliamentary put-downs. He urged Auntie to work alongside local news rather than against. However, it was his jibes against both his colleagues and himself that received the biggest laughs from the well-hydrated audience.
Referring to his esteemed guests, Osborne said that never had there been so many big egos in one room since John Bercow dined out alone. He then moved on to making fun of himself recalling the time he had found himself stranded with the lobby in Paris’s red light district as a young Tory aide, before moving on to his most recent omnishambles budget.
Referencing his well known penchant for the 5:2 diet, the Chancellor said it was his own special nutrition plan where by ‘after two out of every five budgets, I eat my own words’. As hacks know, after his most recent omnishambles budget he sent David Gauke to answer questions on his behalf on the subsequent disability benefits u-turn. ‘This isn’t how I normally do things,’ he said in reference to his dinner speech. ‘A big speech in parliament, the pressure is on, you lot are baying for blood. My answer? Uncork the Gauke.’ He also found time to bash Boris with an anecdote about what happened when Johnson wore a Che Guevara watch in front of George Bush. While Bush told BoJo that they executed people who wear Che Guevara watches, Osborne was disappointed to later discover that he was bluffing.
However, perhaps the most risque joke of the night was saved for John Whittingdale. Discussing the EU referendum, Osborne spoke about the points of difference in the party which have led to in-fighting:
‘The referendum means we’re all arguing amongst ourselves… the Canadian model, the Albanian model, the Ukrainian model – and that’s just John Whittingdale.’
While Mr S is assured that Whitto saw the funny side, it’s unlikely his Hacked Off opponents will be so amused that his colourful love life — which has led to conflict of interest allegations — is already a laughing matter.
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