For only the second time in my life, I went to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia last weekend. At least, it felt like I was in Saudi. I’m talking about the Anthony Joshua-Daniel Dubois fight at Wembley Stadium. Billed as the British version of George Foreman vs Joe Frazier, it was bankrolled by the Saudis and might as well have been taking place in Riyadh.
The Master of Ceremonies was not Michael Buffer, then American ring announcer – although he was there and did say ‘Let’s get ready to rumble!’ – but His Excellency Turki Alalshikh, chairman of Saudi Arabia’s General Entertainment Authority. His moustachioed face, framed by a headdress, appeared constantly on the jumbotrons above our heads and we were treated to a close-up of him standing to attention as the Saudi national anthem was played. Yup, that’s right. Even though it was an all-British fight in our country’s most famous arena, ‘God Save the King’ wasn’t played until after ‘Ash al-Malik’.
At an all-British fight in our country’s most famous arena, the Saudi national anthem was played first
I wasn’t there at the invitation of the organisers, which is just as well because someone who was – Oliver Brown, the Telegraph’s chief sports writer – got turned away for having written something critical about ‘Saudi sportswashing’ the day before. If I’d witnessed that, I hope I would have spun on my heels and followed him back down Wembley Way. The fact that he was refused entry for criticising the Gulf kingdom is outrageous, given that it was a heavyweight title fight on British soil and he’s an accredited sports journalist.
I’d been given four tickets by a colleague, and I took Caroline, my son Freddie and a boxing-mad friend of his. We didn’t quite have ringside seats, but they were one tier below and offered a pretty good view. The chap sitting next to me, who’d paid £750 for his seat, had been there since 4 p.m. to get his money’s worth, but we didn’t arrive until just before 8 p.m., halfway through the penultimate undercard fight.
After that was over, Caroline and I went to buy some drinks and by the time we returned we’d missed the other fight, which was stopped in the first round. There then followed an extended interlude in which a cameraman roamed the ringside seats, picking out the celebrities. Up they popped on the giant screens, some of them pretending not to notice, others smiling and waving. The only one I recognised was Baby Spice, and that was after the musical director dropped a heavy hint by playing ‘Wannabe’.
Then the video feed switched to the tunnel leading to the ring and a figure appeared in the gloom, arms swinging from side to side in what looked like a parody of macho swagger. Was this Joshua or Dubois? In fact, it was Liam Gallagher, the warm-up act, followed by a group of musicians in skinny jeans. Not Oasis, unfortunately. They made their way to a stage opposite the ring and opened with ‘Rock’n’Roll Star’, which brought the audience of 96,000 to their feet. I’m not enough of a fan to tell whether the other two numbers they played – it was a short set – included any more Oasis songs, but they sounded a bit samey. Afterwards, some people complained on social media about Liam being out of tune and he responded with an expletive–filled rant.
Before the main event, we had the two national anthems followed by our unofficial national anthem, ‘Sweet Caroline’, which, needless to say, was the only one the audience knew the words to. Then, more foreplay in the form of a television advertisement for the fight made by Guy Ritchie, which seemed a bit pointless given that no one there needed persuading. Finally, we had the long drawn-out ‘ring walks’ of the two fighters, first Dubois, then Joshua, accompanied by suitably boastful music – the God-father theme, etc – and fireworks overhead. At last, we were ready to rumble.
What followed was a bit anticlimactic in that it lasted only five rounds. True, it was an upset in that Dubois, who was the underdog, managed to knock out the two-time heavy-weight champion, but it was obvious from the first round that Dubois was going to win. He caught Joshua on the chin with an overhand right which saw the former champ drop to his knees and would have been the end of him had the bell not rung. After that, it was just a question of how long Joshua could cling on.
In truth, I had quite a good time on my night out in the Saudi capital. But I’m glad I didn’t pay £3,000 to hear three songs by an Oasis cover band and watch a fight that was over in 15 minutes.
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