Why working class grandparents are better than middle class ones

When I told a friend that my nine-year-old son was staying with his grandparents for the whole week of the half-term, she said: ‘A whole week! My son would be lucky to get his grandparents for a weekend! Who are these people?’

‘His grandparents are working class,’ I said.

She looked puzzled. ‘What?’

I explained. ‘Working-class grandparents are the best you can have — these days middle-class grandparents are bloody useless.’

I’m not alone in thinking this about the middle-class grandparent (MCGP). Just ask any middle-class parent about their children’s grandparents and out pours the same litany of complaints: ‘They’re too busy’, ‘They’re too selfish’, ‘They’re not really interested in their grandchildren’ and so on.

But I’ve never heard a working-class person complain about their children’s grandparents. On the contrary, they’re proud of their parents’ grandparenting skills and are happy to boast that ‘They spoil ’em rotten!’ The working-class grandparent is minder, maid, mum, dad, butler, cook, cleaner, best playmate and Santa rolled into one.

So what’s wrong with the MCGP? They aren’t proper grandparents — at least, they don’t live up to their children’s expectations of what a grandparent should be. They do not put their grandchildren at the very centre of their lives. For some reason they don’t want to come over and cook and clean, change nappies and read stories at bedtimes, whenever you would like a break.

As one friend of mine put it, ‘My parents always claim that they would love to see more of their grandchildren — but when I try to arrange a visit, they always have something on. I have to book them weeks in advance.’

Not so with the working-class grandparent (WCGP). My son’s grandparents — both working-class — once came down at a moment’s notice from their home town of Grantham to visit their grandson in our London flat for the weekend.