Wild and crazy

New York

I thought Catherine Meyer made the week’s most intelligent remark: ‘If Cabinet ministers can sell their memoirs, why can’t civil servants?’ Or words to that effect. She’s a good German, probably the old-fashioned kind, but the old-fashioned kind has been unpopular since the war, although never with me. Now she’s more unpopular than ever, I presume, her hubby having exposed those clowns passing themselves off as Her Majesty’s ministers. Jack Straw trembling in front of some hamburger-chewing American, and Prescott scratching his head about the Balklands. What a bunch of losers, oy veh!

And speaking of losers, the bureaucrooks in Brussels want to introduce an emissions tax on flyers, as if flying wasn’t already very expensive. What they should do is impose an emissions tax on the flatulent pigs that run the EU, by far the most polluting emissions in the atmosphere. Just think how much pollution is emitted every time, say, Blair opens his mouth. Or Louis Michel, the Belgian cockroach who should have been exterminated but instead became the foreign minister of Belgium.

Stelios Haji-Ioannou, the Cypriot mogul who is the largest shareholder in easyJet, is for the tax. This is crazy, but then Cypriots have been known to do wild and crazy things. Long ago I suggested to a friend of his that, after easyJet became a success, Stelios should start an easyF— escort service, but he has yet to take my advice (£100 an hour all-inclusive, but no meals).

Mind you, there are wild and crazy people everywhere. I read in the Sunday Telegraph that a British film-maker thinks London living spaces are superior to those of New York. Come again? I’ve been looking at the high end of the market for two years now, and most of the places I’ve seen are grubby, barely fit for civilised humans, and expensive as hell.