You certainly don’t watch Top Gun for the script

Top Gun is back, nearly 40 years after the original, with reprised roles for Tom Cruise (59) and Val Kilmer (62) but nothing for Meg Ryan (60) or Kelly McGillis (64) although I can’t work out why. The first film is iconic and will likely remain that way unless you are stupid enough to rewatch it (I was stupid enough, and it hasn’t dated well; bland and corny). The sequel also hits its marks as if following a guide entitled How To Write a Blockbuster in Not That Many Steps With a Ton of Colossal Planes, but it is better done. Just. Maybe.

Even if you find Cruise a little creepy, as I do, you can’t deny he has an aura, as if he were the Last Great Movie Star. Perhaps that’s why he was permitted to gatecrash the Queen’s recent, otherwise mostly horsey Jubilee celebration where he proceeded to flog the film. (I was impressed. Look! He also does his own publicity stunts!) He once again plays Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell who is, it would appear, older but not any wiser. He is now a top-level test pilot for the navy but still reckless and defying orders. This is the last straw, Maverick! You’re dishonourably discharged, Maverick! On second thoughts, Maverick, you’re too excellent to let go! (Put that on repeat and it’s essentially the entire plot.)

The film is directed by Joseph Kosinski, and when we remeet Maverick he appears to be living in some kind of warehouse with half a plane in it and a pinboard covered in photographs of ‘Goose’ (once played by Anthony Edwards), the beloved friend who died in his arms in the first film, for which he has always blamed himself. (I wanted to grab him by his gym-honed shoulders and say: move on, fella.)