Mary Killen

Your problems solved | 9 July 2015

Plus: Telling LOLs apart, avoiding flirts on the Caledonian Sleeper, and how to dodge a corsage

Your problems solved | 9 July 2015
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Q. I am anxious about a forthcoming house party to which several people in my friendship group have been invited. Our friend’s father is the host. I have met him before and he could not be kinder but his historic house is unmodernised so we will have to share bathrooms. I have always had a phobia about this — so much so that I am considering cancelling; yet there will be amazing people there — another reason I don’t want to share a bathroom. Please advise, Mary.

— Name and address withheld

A. Why not simply take a vow of constipation? Cut your weekend down to two days and you will find this self-denial is perfectly manageable.

Q. I would really love an explanation of the meaning of ‘LOL’ as used by the young in their illiterate text messages. Sometimes it seems to mean ‘Laugh out Loud’, at others ‘Lots of Love’. Can you clarify, Mary?

— L.C., Wiveliscombe

A. It is the positioning that holds the clue. Irony or humour is hard to convey in a text message hence the young insert emoticoms, the words ‘haha’ or even an exclamation mark. LOL as in ‘laugh out loud’ usually comes after something comical, whereas ‘lots of love’ will come at the end of a text or email before sign off.

Q. Do you have any opinions on the wearing of ‘corsages’ by female members of the bride and groom’s close family at weddings? I have never come across it before and my instinct is very much against. My daughter, the bride, is the first of her cohort to marry and is not au fait with wedding etiquette but she too is dubious. What should I do if pressure is put upon me to wear a corsage?

— Name and address withheld

A. Insist that your real or imaginary stylist has insisted that the addition of a corsage would make your outfit far too busy. Since she is ‘temperamental’, you would rather keep the peace on the big day.

Q. I am soon to be taking the Caledonian Sleeper to Glasgow for a holiday in the Western Isles. There is a shortage of berths on the train and my host has asked me to share a two-person cabin with a rather drunk and flirtatious man as this will be the only way he can avoid sitting up all night. I don’t feel I can say no but how can I avoid him making advances to me in the cabin?

— Name and address withheld

A. If you commandeer the top bunk for yourself, this should create a problem with access. You can also pre-empt an overture by insisting you read the flirtatious drunk a short account of the island you are visiting. He will settle onto his own bunk to hear you out and if drink has been ‘taken’, he will soon be fast asleep, lulled into stupefaction by the gentle rocking of the train.