Society

Thursday

Jeremy Clarke

Low life | 22 June 2017

‘Yours?’ I said to the woman watching the mechanic poring over the latest-shape Renault Mégane for faults. (I was waiting to have a word with the mechanic about my Clio.) ‘Yes. I don’t like it,’ she said. ‘All my life I’ve driven German cars, and then I got this one, and I just can’t get used to it.’ ‘Why did you change then?’ I said, annoyed by the snobbery. ‘I’m a spirit medium,’ she said. ‘I have lots of wealthy clients. I was working with one in her home, and it came into my head to say to her, “He says you must give everything away, including Bella.” I didn’t

Melissa Kite

Real life | 22 June 2017

All had gone suspiciously quiet down our little track on the village green, and we had begun to think we were being accepted by the neighbours. We settled in. We continued to park our car in the public space outside our house, and after a week or so not too many people told us to sod off and die. We put in for the monstrously high council tax to be reviewed. We made a few friends. We were happy. And then the dreaded day came when we had to take our building materials down the side alley which goes across a neighbour’s back garden. We knew it had been a

Robin Oakley

The turf | 22 June 2017

Back on the political beat with CNN for the general election, I was reminded how politics is now dominated by personality, or the lack of it. Led by the media, we want our politicians to be authoritative enough to dominate an EU summit yet ‘normal’ enough to know what’s topping the pop charts or who’s in the final of Strictly Come Dancing. It has led to idiocies such as Gordon Brown pretending he listened to the Arctic Monkeys or an ingratiating David Cameron claiming to have voted for Will Young on X Factor at his daughter’s insistence when Young was actually on Pop Idol, which he won before Cameron’s daughter

Janet de Botton

Bridge | 22 June 2017

The past two weeks have seen hundreds of passionate bridge players head for Montecatini in Italy for the 8th European Open Championships. The first two events, Mixed Teams and Mixed Pairs, had possibly the most exciting finals of all time — both successful gold medallists winning on the heart-stopping last board. The Pairs saw Poland’s Justyna Zmuda and her partner Michal Klukowski beat Germany’s Sabine Auken and Roy Welland by 1.27 IMPs on the last deal, while in the Teams the Russians (MNEPO) took gold from the clutches of the American/Swedish group led by Andrew Rosenthal, also on the very last board! There has seldom been more excitement, even if

Toby Young Toby Young

Panic of the playwrights

Earlier this week the Guardian launched ‘Brexit Shorts’, a series of monologues written by Britain’s ‘leading playwrights’ about the aftermath of the EU referendum. Now I know what you’re thinking: ‘What fresh hell is this?’ But bear with me. Watching the first batch of these short films, which are on the Guardian website, isn’t complete purgatory. Not because they’re much good, obviously — although one is, and I’ll come to that in a moment. But because the reason these writers are so anxious about Brexit is due to their uncritical acceptance of Project Fear. Perhaps they’ll become a little less hysterical once they’ve been introduced to some solid facts. Take

Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 22 June 2017

Q. I import a range of very high-quality food products from Europe into the UK. They are regarded as the best in the market and have a well-proven record in European stores, but the buyer at a well-known ‘upmarket’ supermarket is elusive. When I try to get in touch, he claims to be busy and, in the last instance, dismissively advised me to send some samples with a business card. If I do that, I will have lost the opportunity for a meeting in which I could grab his attention. — G.L., address withheld A. Counter his mental laziness with a four-pronged attack. Let’s call your products the Coup de

Tanya Gold Tanya Gold

Not my bag

Hip Chips is a specialist crisp restaurant in Old Compton Street, Soho; no, it is stupider than that. It is a specialist posh crisp restaurant and it is a grave disappointment to the compulsive overeater. The Bacon Nik Nak Shack would surely be a better idea because crisps, like leisure wear and coaches, can never really be posh. They should not even, ideally, be fresh; the joy in eating a packet of Pickled Onion Monster Munch is in the mingling of the Monster Munch and your own blood as the skin on the roof of your mouth melts off, and there it is. But these are details: who am I

Dot Wordsworth

Narrative

Laura Kuenssberg was right. Even my husband agreed, and he often throws soiled beermats from an unknown source (which he uses to stop his whisky glass making rings on the furniture) at her — at least, when she is on television. She had just used the word narrative and then felt obliged to say ‘if you want to use that terrible phrase’. I don’t, but a lot of people do. I’m afraid the word has escaped from the jungle of structuralism, post-structuralism and Marxist theory. It is one of those notions that are often employed, in France particularly, as an alternative to cobblestones in the class struggle. Narrative, after snoozing

Charles Moore Charles Moore

The Spectator’s Notes | 22 June 2017

How much longer can it go on? Deaths caused by terrorism are always followed now by candlelit vigils, a minute’s silence, victims’ families/ government ministers/emergency services/clergy/imams all clustered together, walls of messages and flowers, flags at half-mast. Instinctively, I feel uneasy because the meaning of it all gradually suffers attrition, and also, perhaps, because it asserts a solidarity which isn’t quite there. Yet the fundamental cause of mourning is true and deep enough — it is first for the dead, then for a civilisation which may be dying. In these pages, on 4 February, Matthew Parris wrote that Brexiteers seemed very anxious, despite having won. He thought this was because

The Spectator

Portrait of the week | 22 June 2017

Home The burnt-out skeleton of Grenfell Tower, the 24-storey block of 127 flats at Latimer Road, west London, became a focus of recrimination. Initially, kind-hearted community action provided food and clothing for survivors, but organisation by the authorities was not apparent. After five days the police estimate for those dead or missing presumed dead was put at 79. Jeremy Corbyn, the Labour leader, said that properties in Kensington should be ‘requisitioned if necessary’ to house the survivors. Supporters of Mr Corbyn denounced Theresa May, the Prime Minister, for talking only to emergency services when she visited the scene. Her advisers sent her back to a church, from which she was

Mr Magoo

2315: Trunk call

Seven unclued entries are all examples of the other. Elsewhere, ignore an accent.   Across 11    Ginger wine and rose (9, hyphened) 12    A long, aspirational character (5) 14    Feel for plunder, departing from honesty (4) 15    Remain undecided, lacking hint from photo finish (3) 18    Inoffensive, but for second, rude (7) 19    Less clear operator, having a doubt, cut off (7) 22    Former mother heard complaint (6) 23    Vessels are able to leak, they say (6) 24    Admiral inclined to put daughter first (5) 27    One receiving praise, gutted to accept assent (5) 29    Deletes verses about America lacking in volume (6) 31    One cloudy and almost severe cold

Hanushka Toni

Where there’s a will, there’s a way

Once upon a time, there lived a very bored (but exceptionally diligent) paralegal. Everyday she would head to the office and stare at the same Excel spreadsheet. It contained a litany of things that really don’t belong in an excel spreadsheet – friends and family members, photographs, old records, engagement rings, a collection of saucy novels, a Constable painting, and boxes filled with the detritus of faded memories – theatre tickets, thank-you cards and wedding invitations. Every day, as she populated this spreadsheet with yet another illegitimate child or meaningless trinket, she wondered…could someone not have tapped Mr Plonker (obviously his real name) on the shoulder and said, ‘now you

Mike Bannister

The Serious Fraud Office is treating people seriously unfairly

If British industry had its own Mount Rushmore, the carved rock would undoubtedly include the face of Sir Ralph Robins. As, successively, managing director, chief executive and chairman of Rolls-Royce between 1984 and 2003, he transformed the fortunes of a company that had been humbled by receivership and nationalisation in the 1970s. Thirty years ago the engineering company was privatised again. In the face of opposition from advisers, partners and shareholders, Sir Ralph took the decision to end the agreement that confined Rolls-Royce to junior partner to the American giant General Electric in the wide-body aircraft market. Instead, he launched the Trent project – the design and manufacture of the

The Spectator

to 2312: Bandleader

The thematic BEATLES ALBUM (38 32) is SERGEANT PEPPER (1A 6A). 1A defines 17, and can be divided into words defined by 31 and 20; 6A defines 6D, 19 and 24.   First prize Margaret Lusk, Preston, Lancashire Runners-up C.G. Millin, Swindon, Wiltshire; David Caldecott, Bowerchalke, Salisbury

Fraser Nelson Fraser Nelson

At long last, Theresa May offers assurance to EU nationals

After a year of prevarication, it has emerged that the Prime Minister has agreed to offer permanent residency to all EU nationals who were living in Britain. Under current rules, anyone who has been here for five years can apply for permanent residency status: not quite the same as citizenship, but it confers the same rights as UK citizens enjoy. Two-thirds of our EU migrants are covered by this. What’s new is that no one will be booted out (which would anyway be illegal) but it seems that those who hit the five-year mark, say, in 2022 will also be able to apply for permanent residency. Her offer is conditional on reciprocity – but

Brendan O’Neill Brendan O’Neill

The anti-tabloid snobs are the real bigots

So now we know who’s really responsible for the horrible attack at Finsbury Park Mosque: it was the Sun wot done it. And maybe the Daily Mail too. No sooner had Darren Osborne allegedly crashed a hired van into Muslim worshippers than certain so-called liberals were stringing up the tabloids. The low-rent press poisoned his mind, just as it’s always poisoning plebs’ minds, they claimed, without a morsel of evidence. He could take the Guardian for all we know. They present their tabloid-baiting as a challenge to bigotry, when anyone who knows anything about history knows that fearing the tabloids and their dim, malleable readers is classic British bigotry. Just

Nick Hilton Nick Hilton

The Spectator Podcast: The dying of the right

On this week’s episode, we look at conservatism’s apparent decline, how society has responded to the Grenfell Tower tragedy, and whether young people have had their critical faculties vanquished by a certain boy wizard. First up: This time last year many were wondering whether the left, in Britain and abroad, was in terminal decline. The Brexit vote and Trump’s shock victory seemed only to compound that, and yet, just a few months later, the Spectator now has a cover piece, by Fraser Nelson, declaring that conservatism needs saving. How did we get here? And can anything be done about it? To discuss this, Fraser joined the podcast along with Michael Heseltine. As Fraser writes in

Douglas Murray

The ‘hate preacher’ hypocrisy

Well this is interesting.  I had got used to the standard response to terror.  I had thought that when 22 young people get blown up by a suicide bomber in Manchester we were meant to say that it made ‘no sense’, that it ‘wouldn’t change us’ and that ‘love’ must overcome ‘hate’. I thought that when a crowd of people get run over and a policeman stabbed to death we were meant to say ‘We may never know’ what caused such an outrage.  And that when people slit the throats of Londoners while shouting ‘This is for Allah’ we agreed that only perpetrators themselves were responsible for such inexplicable actions? 

Steerpike Steerpike

Too hot to trot: how the Day of Rage flopped

In case you missed the memo, yesterday was officially the ‘day of rage’. Hard-left activists took to the streets, vowing to ‘bring down the government’. Although protesters’ claimed that they were seeking justice for the victims of the Grenfell Tower fire, this was dismissed by a charity representing those effected; ‘they do not want their grief hijacked for any violent or destructive means’. What’s more, it seems the protest – organised by Movement for Justice By Any Means Necessary – didn’t quite go to plan. Forget managing to ‘shut down London’, they couldn’t even muster enough people to fill Parliament Square. Witnesses at the event report an underwhelming showing, with police outnumbering protesters at points.