The Battle for Britain – 27 April 2017
Society
Thursday
to 2304: Hexagon
The HEADWORD (26) ‘bail’ appears six times in CHAMBERS (1D). Its different meanings include CROSSPIECE (1A), BAR (25), FRAME (36), HOOP (40), LADLE (16) and SECURITY (24). BAIL (diagonally from 32) was to be shaded. First prize Jacqui Sohn, Gorleston, Great Yarmouth Runners-up Alexander Caldin, Houston, Texas; B. Taylor, Little Lever, Bolton
Wine Club 29 April
It’s spring and that means it’s time for rosé. Sales of the pink stuff continue to rocket and we’re all out and proud rosé drinkers these days, darling. That’s not to say there aren’t some dire bottles on the shelves. Like that vile Blush Zinfandel from California (shudder) or the weirdly coloured one from the corner shop that glows in the dark and numbs your gums. A fine rosé, though, is a wine of great beauty — and no rosés are finer than those from Sacha Lichine’s Château d’Esclans estate in Provence. The sole aim of Sacha and his partner Patrick Leon, former head winemaker at Château Mouton-Rothschild, is to
Why Theresa May’s 1970s-style energy price caps won’t work
Better access to education. Tax cuts for anyone in the struggling middle. More affordable homes, and more money for the National Heath Service. There is nothing wrong with Theresa May seeking to stake out the centre ground of British politics and stop Brexit turning into a right-wing campaign to turn back the clock. But one might have imagined she’d use conservative means to achieve this, rather than raiding Ed Miliband’s last manifesto for ideas. The proposed price cap on energy companies is an alarming example of Mrs May’s left turn. There are so many ways in which the price cap is a genuinely terrible idea that it is hard to
The age of Joshua
Every so often comes a moment that can set the history of sport on a different trajectory. I believe we will witness such a moment on Saturday when Anthony Joshua, of Golders Green no less, fights the veteran Wladimir Klitschko for the Heavy-weight Champ-ionship of the World. At Wembley Stadium, not a Las Vegas car park. This is a battle of the ages and for the ages, and it is right here in London. For those of us who were glued to barely audible radios at 3am to hear epic US fights or flogged around seedy London cinemas for a live transmission, the romance, the magic and the brutal beauty
Ribaldry
In Competition No. 2995 you were invited to submit ribald limericks as they might have been written by a well-known poet. William Baring-Gould, who wrote a history of the genre, noted that when a limerick appears, sex is not far behind And the writer Norman Douglas considered limericks to be ‘jovial things… a yea-saying to life in a world that has grown grey’. The cheering winners of what was a hugely popular comp are rewarded with £8 each. Though most of my loves are Platonicer, It was always quite different with Monica. If I’ve got a hard ’un Down there in the garden, We do it behind the Japonica.
Ruislip Lido
Most mornings, if I’m not too hung-over, I go for a run around Ruislip Lido — a mile there, through Ruislip Woods, about two miles round the lido and a mile back again. It generally takes me about half an hour. On my way, I see woodpeckers, egrets, sparrowhawks, and the occasional Muntjac deer. It’s hard to believe you’re in London, at the arse end of the Metropolitan line, surrounded by bland suburbia — John Betjeman’s Metroland. Ruislip Woods is the largest slice of natural woodland in Greater London: 726 acres of oak, beech and hornbeam, and the lido is its pearl. People have gathered timber from this scruffy forest
Is boarding school cruel?
Yes Alex Renton Last week some 20,000 children under the age of 14 packed their bags to return to boarding school for the summer term: a migration unique in anthropology. The habit was born of necessity for the rural gentry in the 18th century, and it became customary for the wealthy and aspirational in the 19th century. But what possible need for boarding is there in the 21st? Some parents say they have no choice. ‘She literally made me do it,’ one mother told me of her eight-year-old, residing at a very smart prep in the Midlands. ‘I was in bits. Still am. But she’d read Harry Potter and Malory
Notebook | 27 April 2017
I’m an unashamed Archers fan. But for the first time in 50 years I’m exasperated by the storyline. A fortnight ago Usha, who has no ball sense, is justifiably rejected as a potential player by Ambridge’s cricket captain. Even she admits she’s useless. Nevertheless, bleating ‘sexist’ and ‘age-ist’, she leads a Lysistrata-style boycott, not of the marital bed, but of the practice nets. The women down bats and walk. Really! It’s enough to make you ashamed to be a feminist. And then last week the captain offers her the job of ‘inspirational team coach’. Laughable. Except for some reason I don’t laugh. I fume. Last weekend’s perfect foretaste, fingers crossed,
The lords of poverty
Kenya I met Dr Tom Catena in Sudan’s Nuba Mountains — the site of an African war and famine few have even heard about — in a hospital overflowing with children. I saw bombs had ripped away their arms, flying shrapnel had taken out a baby’s eye, anti-personnel mines had shredded legs to jagged bone and ribbons of gangrenous flesh, infants suffering kwashiorkor and the other horrors of malnutrition. Inspired by St Francis of Assisi, ‘Doctor Tom’ has worked almost every day, all day, since he arrived as the only surgeon for the Catholic hospital in Nuba nine years ago. I asked him: ‘Why do you stay?’ He replied: ‘There’s no
What would Darwin make of trainspotters?
Why are men so much more likely to be interested in trains than women? I believe this to be a question of profound importance. It has implications for the debate about whether behavioural gender differences are inborn or learned. And implications for our understanding of male thinking. When at a dinner party did you ever hear an intense conversation between two women about railway timetables? How many teenage girls have you ever noticed among groups of trainspotters? Do small girls ask for a train set as a birthday present? Doesn’t this stark disparity between genders on a matter which touches equally the lives of both, and in which both are
Wednesday
Civil life in London is now balanced on a knife edge
I’m a member of a small and weird minority, the conservative urbanophiles. Obviously cities are nests of degeneracy and, even worse, the false faith of progressivism – my postcode voted 82 per cent Remain and the Tories finished fourth in 2015 – but nevertheless urbanisation is glorious, the best thing our species ever did. City life means socialising, culture and prosperity. But the English-speaking world forgot two important things about city life in the 20th century, lessons that have been painfully half re-learned: that cities should be beautiful and cities need to be civilised. The story of American urban decline in the late 20th century is especially tragic, hollowed out
The Public Accounts Committee report is pure Labour propaganda
On the Today programme this morning I debated Meg Hillier, the Labour chair of the Public Accounts Committee which has just issued a damning report on free schools. The report is wrong in almost every particular. It says the free schools programme offers ‘poor value for money’, but earlier this year the National Audit Office pointed out that free schools cost a third less than new schools built under Labour’s Building Schools for the Future programme. The report says many free schools are in ‘inadequate premises’ and ‘the learning environment’ is ‘less effective’. In fact, 29pc of those inspected by Ofsted so far have been ranked ‘Outstanding’ compared to 21pc
Failing to bank online could cost you dear
People who don’t bank online are more likely to face financial trouble than their more internet-savvy peers. That’s according to research by the University of Bristol for investment website Momentum UK which found that those who bank by phone are five times more likely than internet bankers to miss bill payments and nine times more likely to know how much money they have in their account. While just 3 per cent of people who use a computer to bank had been unable to pay a bill at the final reminder in the last year, for those using the telephone as their main way of banking this figure rose to 15
Jewish students are turning their backs on British universities. Who can blame them?
Universities up and down the land are clambering to recruit students in time for the start of the new academic year. International students – those from outside the EU – are the most lucrative market, not least because there are no legal restrictions on the fees that they can be charged; top universities, such as Oxford, can charge as much as £23,000 a year for some courses. But there are also sound academic reasons why we should recruit internationally. We want our campuses – which are places of education as well as training – to be centres of social, religious and ethnic diversity. We also want, of course, to recruit the
Tuesday
The cruel hounding of Tim Farron is bloodsport for secularists
For the benefit of Sky News, standard Christian doctrine says gay sex is a sin. It’s the sin that gives sinning a good name. There ought to be a stewards’ inquiry into why it didn’t make it into the Ten Commandments. But, yes, it’s one of those trespasses we ask to be forgiven. Sky’s Darren McCaffrey demanded to know Tim Farron’s view on the matter at a Lib Dem event on Monday. In case you’re wondering, Farron hasn’t proposed banning the love that once dared not speak its name and now won’t shut up about it. Nor does he want to roll back any of the gains the gay rights
It’s time qualifications for estate agents became mandatory
I’ll never forget the estate agent who tried to flog me my first flat. As I waited on the kerb in North London, he roared up in a Mercedes-Benz convertible, bling glittering from his hands and neck, a belt emblazoned with the word ‘STUD’ and a knuckle tattoo that can’t be shared in a respectable publication. I was new to house-buying but even this struck me as a bit odd. I soon came to learn that a spotty teenager with a souped-up car and a penchant for gold jewellery isn’t that unusual in the estate agent game. Since then, I have dealt with agents who know what they’re doing and conduct
Should we compare pay slips? The inequality of earnings
The most open of folk, who spill saucy secrets about themselves, clam up when asked how much they earn. Revealing your salary, especially to colleagues, is taboo. Conventional wisdom says that knowing fellow workers’ salaries sows discord. I know first-hand how explosive it can be to learn what people you work with get paid. I’d been promoted to a senior management role where I needed to know everyone’s pay. On my first morning my new boss entered my office with an armful of employee files and told me to read them. Closing my door, he said he would return to take me to lunch with a bottle of red wine,
Monday
Don’t be an idiot like me: stop the auto renewals and save money
I am an idiot. This is something my recent experience with Amazon has taught me. ‘How come we have Amazon Prime?’ my husband asked from time to time, ‘I get it free,’ I told him. ‘But I don’t want to find out how exactly, you know, in case they notice and start charging me.’ May I refer you back to my original statement. For the avoidance of doubt, one of the world’s biggest companies was not providing me with free benefits out of hidden generosity. As an Amazon Prime member, you are entitled to things like faster deliveries, inclusive movies and Kindle books for £79 a year or £7.99 a month. I used some
Arron Banks throws in the towel
Arron Banks’ bid to become the MP for Clacton is over already. Just six days ago, the multi-millionaire Ukip donor was ‘a million per cent going for it’, and Banks said that ‘come hell or high water’ he was standing. Not any more. Banks, who had planned to fight Douglas Carswell for the seat before Carswell said that he was not going to stand again, announced that he was throwing in the towel. So why did Banks bottle it? He says he decided not to run because he didn’t want to ‘leap over’ the local Ukip candidate. Mr S is disappointed that Banks’ plans to put Clacton ‘on the map’ and