Society

Thursday

8 Jan 2015

No. 344

White to play. This is a position from Adams–Caruana, London Classic 2014. How did Adams convert to a winning endgame? Answers to me at The Spectator by Tuesday 13 January or via email to victoria@spectator.co.uk or by fax on 020 7681 3773. The winner will be the first correct answer out of a hat, and each week I am offering a prize of £20. Please include a postal address and allow six weeks for prize delivery. Last week’s solution 1 Re7 (1 … Qxe7 2 Ba6) Last week’s winner Jens Knocke, Rouen, France

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How will Joan Collins introduce herself now she’s a dame?

Q. We enjoyed the Christmas University Challenge series featuring mature graduates, some of whom were more in the public eye than others. I was a little surprised that one team captain, a broadcaster at that, introduced herself as Dame X. I was always told that I must not introduce myself as Mr and that it was a title bestowed by others and not by oneself. I expect the same to apply should I ever become a Sir. As that is extremely unlikely, I ask merely out of interest and for the benefit of our beloved and newly be-knighted Dame Joan of these pages. I am sure she knows the protocol already but

Tanya Gold

The real reason there’s a queue outside the Cereal Killer Café

The Cereal Killer Café is a temple to cereal on Brick Lane, east London. It serves only cereal — and also Pop-Tarts, which taste like pavements smeared with chocolate — and flavoured milk. It has been open for one month and is already famous for its monomania, its whimsy — look, cereal! — and its co-owner’s on-air fight with a Channel 4 News journalist about the morality of selling £3.50 bowls of cereal in a ‘poor area’. (The Channel 4 reporter did not notice the bespoke chocolatier next door or the boxer-short boutique nearby, in which golden boxer shorts hang on hangers. He did not notice that the East End is

Dot Wordsworth

What parenting meant in 1914

‘Not still War and Peace!’ exclaimed my husband on 1 January during the all-day Tolstoy splurge on Radio 4. In reality he was glad to complain, as if it made him superior to the broadcasters. I quietly tuned the radio in the kitchen to long-wave and was able, while peeling the potatoes, to listen, through the atmospherics, to Home Front, the drama serial on Radio 4, set in Folkestone during the first world war. It is not Downton Abbey. One does not listen to spot the anachronisms. But any historical drama is bound to include language impossible to have used at the time. The episode was written by Katie Hims and directed

Dumpynose

2193: Celebration II

Clockwise round the grid from 31 run the titles of four works (6,3,5,7,5.1,5,7,8,5) associated with a 21 and 25A born 16 years ago. The twenty corner letters produce LIVELY ELEMENTAL ARIAS. Solvers must shade the three clued lights that combine to form the 21’s name (two words). Elsewhere, ignore an apostrophe and two accents. Across 8 Mirage, maybe of river, taking one in (5) 9 Ring from small belfry? (6) 10 Nameless quondam tamed adult antelope (7) 12 Almost primitive aristo (4) 14 Clare Short worked with many players (10) 15 Hint where dead old ox is buried in a crude way (8) 18 Reaction when bishop abandons

Dumpynose

To 2191: Bunk

Ambrose Bierce defined history as an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. ‘Bunk’ is another famous definition of ‘history’. First prize Mrs J. James, Harrow, Middlesex Runners-up J.E. Green, St Albans, Herts; Neil Mendoza, London W11

Ross Clark

Objecting to Charlie Hebdo cartoons doesn’t make you a terrorist

The French liberal-left and George W Bush are not natural bedfellows, but today the former are sounding just a little bit like the latter. The ‘Je suis Charlie’ banners they are carrying in reaction to yesterday’s murders at the offices of the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo are effectively saying, to borrow the former US president’s slogan: you are either with us or you are with the terrorists. The terror attack, of course, deserves universal condemnation. It is an act of cold-blooded murder. That it was carried out against a targeted group makes it neither better nor worse than 9/11 or the London tube bombings which were conducted against random victims.

Melissa Kite

The ‘war’ on cancer is futile. Let’s stop fighting it

Have you ever wondered what illness you would prefer to die of? Cheerful of me, I know. But I’ve been thinking about this since a leading medical writer, Dr Richard Smith said we should stop wasting billions trying to cure cancer because it is the best way to go. His intervention last week was met with predictable outrage from charities and campaign groups who pointed out that dying from cancer was pretty horrid, thank you very much. But Dr Smith’s point was that if you compare it to the alternatives, cancer is not the worst thing that can happen to end your life, given that something has to. Think about

The Spectator

The Spectator at war: The German mentality

From News of the Week, The Spectator, 9 January 1915: The Report of the French Commission appointed to investigate the acts committed in violation of international law by Germany appears in the Journal Officiel of Friday. The Commission declares that “the terrible sufferings witnessed surpass in horror all that the imagination can conceive.” Not only have towns and villages been laid flat by the cannon, but “pillage, violation, incendiarism, and murder are common practices of the enemy.” The Commissioners go on to declare that the facts show the astounding degeneration of German “mentality” since 1870. “The officers commanding, even the most exalted, will bear a crushing responsibility in the face

Harry Mount

It’s 200 years since Britain last fought America. But it’s not a battle the British care to remember

2015 is the year of Waterloo and Wellington. The 200th anniversary will be celebrated with grand commemorations on the battlefield and in London. But today, January 8th, 2015, is also the 200th anniversary of the Battle of New Orleans – the last time Britain fought America, and the beginning of the special relationship. How smoothly and quickly we moved from bloody slaughter to two centuries of close friendship. And how remarkable that the battle is forgotten here. Perhaps that’s because we lost so spectacularly to General Andrew ‘Old Hickory’ Jackson, the future American President. The battle concluded the War of 1812 between Britain and America, which ended in a score draw

Lucy Vickery

Rehabilitation

In Competition No. 2879 you were invited to follow in the footsteps of Hilary Mantel and provide a scene that shows a well-known villain from history or literature in an uncharacteristically kindly light. Mantel has said that she was driven by a ‘powerful curiosity’ rather than by any desire to rehabilitate Cromwell. ‘I do not run a Priory clinic for the dead,’ she wrote, which is a nice way of putting it. You plundered Dickens for baddies in need of a makeover — Fagin made repeated appearances alongside Daniel Quilp and Josiah Bounderby. Judas Iscariot and Dr Crippen were also popular choices. The standard was on the patchy side, but

Roger Alton

The myth of Steven Gerrard

‘As a leader and a man, he is incomparable to anyone I have ever worked with.’ Obviously quite some guy, that: John Hunt of Everest? Nelson Mandela? The All Blacks’ all-conquering Richie McCaw? No, it’s Brendan Rogers on Steven Gerrard. The Liverpool manager insists that, although the word ‘legend’ is all right for Thierry Henry or John Terry, it is woefully inadequate for Gerrard. The extravagantly coiffed Robbie Savage, who is now the BBC’s default commentator, has declared the departing club captain the best Liverpool player ever. Actually there’s a good argument that he wasn’t even the best Liverpool midfielder ever. Would he have got into the side when Souness

Quentin Letts

The charming little airport that ruins thousands of holidays

Horror films occasionally use the device of the deceptive idyll. An apparently restful place — a clearing in the woods, a pretty cottage — is the site of a fiendish atrocity. A goodie escapes and breathlessly reports the matter to the police. Next morning the authorities race to the scene, and find nothing. Wickedness has been concealed. The deceptive idyll has returned. Such a place is Chambéry airport in south-east France. Framed by mountains and fringed by Lake Bourget, it was founded in 1938 and has not grown much. On weekdays little disturbs the airfield daisies save the tinkle of distant cow bells and a cooling Savoyard breeze. You can

The Spectator

From the archives | 8 January 2015

From ‘Lord Curzon’s speech’, The Spectator, 9 January 1915: We are glad to record, though in no way surprised to find, that Lord Curzon takes a very serious and very clearly defined view of the duties of the Opposition during a period of national crisis. He recognised that part of these duties in war time can never, as in peace, be the effort to substitute one set of politicians for another in the work of government. On the contrary, in war the support of the King’s Government in all the measures which they may think necessary for ensuring the safety of the country becomes the essential duty of the Opposition.

Rod Liddle

The utterly ludicrous and petty campaign against Ched Evans

A new name to help us welcome in the new year: Jean Hatchet. A name which is almost certainly too good to be true for a perpetually infuriated radical feminist — much as, say, Roz Termagant or Betty Hitler would be. It is a pseudonym, apparently. Ms Hatchet — I assume that is the title she would prefer, although Mx is catching on quite quickly — is the woman behind the petitions to prevent the footballer and convicted rapist Ched Evans from earning a living from his trade. The first petition was got up when Evans began training with his former club, Sheffield United — who quickly washed their hands of him as

Tanya Gold

What The Theory of Everything doesn’t tell you about Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking is a misogynist; and also, quite possibly, a narcissist. You wouldn’t know it from watching The Theory Of Everything, the new biopic from Working Title, in which you are invited only to weep when he discovers he has motor neurone disease at 21, and then marvel at his achievements in physics. It goes wild on the obvious cognitive dissonance of Hawking’s life and work — trapped in his body, yet transported in his mind to the stars. I cried as Eddie Redmayne — as Hawking — falls, rises and is redeemed with medals too numerous to type; he is very good, but he only goes where the script

Philip Hensher

Royal Opera’s Un ballo in maschera: limp, careless and scrappy

Whether by chance or bold design, the Royal Opera’s two Christmas shows were written at precisely the same moment, between 1857 and 1859, and both mark a high point of refinement in their respective traditions. Both Wagner’s Tristan und Isolde and Verdi’s Ballo in maschera sometimes give the impression of being entranced by their abstract musical fantasy; the drama on stage is suspended, drawn out, barely engaged with as the characters and audience peer down into the writhing or transfixed world being created in the orchestra pit. In my view, neither composer ever did anything better in musical terms. But sometimes you feel that there is no hope for Ballo.

Kate Chisholm

Without childhood traumas, how did Alan Bennett ever become a writer?

‘So — take heart,’ said Alan Bennett, sending us out from his play, Cocktail Sticks, on a cheery note. The treatment for cancer had been gruelling, but that was 15 years ago, so… This Radio 4 production was adapted (and produced) by Gordon House from the stage version at the National Theatre but was perfectly made for radio, a monologue interrupted by dramatic scenes that take us back into Bennett’s childhood. Why, he wonders, is there nothing from that past for him to write about — no trauma, no deprivation, no disappointment? Surely, his parents could have done more to help him become a writer? With anyone else this would

Jenny McCartney

The Krays, Dennis Nilsen – and Chris Grayling: a conversation with Sir Ivan Lawrence QC

I’m standing with Sir Ivan Lawrence QC in a narrow room at his Pump Court chambers, examining an oil painting sent to him from Broadmoor by his former client the late Ronnie Kray. It is a naive depiction of a house in a field which could, at first glance, be the work of a worryingly forceful five-year-old. Yet what it lacks in finesse it makes up for in emphasis: the signature ‘R Kray’ is daubed in thumping capitals. Sir Ivan defended Kray in his 1969 murder trial over the killing of George Cornell in the Blind Beggar pub in Whitechapel. Cornell, a member of the rival Richardson gang, had reportedly

Mark Mason

Check yourself: have you succumbed to this corporate speak epidemic?

You know how it goes with corporate speak. A strange new habit grows and spreads, creeping largely unnoticed into the language, until one day you hear a sentence so bizarre, so divorced from normality, that it brings you up short. It happened to me the other day. A call centre operative, in the middle of a prolonged display of not being able to help, had to check something with a colleague. Before doing so she said: ‘Would it be OK if I put yourself on hold?’ Just stop and consider that sentence for a moment. ‘Would it be OK if I put yourself on hold?’ The woman who uttered it