Society

Thursday

Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 10 October 2013

Q. Is it acceptable to deal with time-critical online business while attending church? Some matters just won’t wait — Glastonbury tickets when they went on sale last Sunday, for example, or online airline check-in. Maybe you could suggest the types of church service when use of a smartphone could be permitted. Weddings (unless you are getting married?) and christenings (unless you are a godparent and ‘font side’ at the time)? Funerals would, I imagine, be a no-no. — T.L., Wantage, Oxon A. Thank you for a query less facetious than it seems. Before phones doubled as cameras, it was quite obvious they should be turned off in church at all times, without

Alexander Chancellor

Alexander Chancellor: I don’t like traffic jams or lager louts but that doesn’t mean I hate Britain

The Italians are often thought of as being unpatriotic, and one can see why. They relentlessly denigrate their national institutions, abuse their politicians, and compare their democratic arrangements most unfavourably with those of the ‘more mature’ north European countries. You might conclude, therefore, that most Italians ‘hate’ Italy. But, of course, you would be wrong, just as the Daily Mail was wrong when it decided on the basis of Ralph Miliband’s political opinions that he ‘hated Britain’. The Mail’s justification for its now notorious headline (‘The Man Who Hated Britain’) was that Miliband Senior ‘had nothing but hatred for the values, traditions and institutions — including our great schools, the

Toby Young Toby Young

Toby Young: I’m too posh for the Tories. I should try Labour

I’m still weighing up whether to run for Parliament, but after this week’s reshuffle I’ve concluded I’m in the wrong party. If you’re a middle-aged white male, particularly one who’s been to Oxford, your chances of becoming a Conservative minister are negligible. Unless you’re a pal of George Osborne’s, obviously, in which case it doesn’t matter if you have B-U-L-L-E-R tattooed on your knuckles, you’ll still get promoted. In the Labour party, by contrast, coming from a privileged background actually seems to help. I’m not just talking about the usual suspects, like Lord Longford’s niece Harriet Harman and ex-public schoolboy Ed Balls. I’m thinking of the new shadow education secretary.

Robin Oakley

The turf: bad-mane day for Tropics

At the degenerative stage of a dinner party recently I heard related with perfect timing the tale of the gent who saw a sign in the window of his local newsagent/tobacconist/sweet shop offering ‘Condoms personally fitted’. Finding a pretty blonde behind the counter when he entered, he inquired, ‘Do you really have the service you are advertising in your window?’ ‘Oh, yes, sir.’ ‘And who does the fitting?’ ‘I do, sir.’ ‘Well, in that case, young lady, would you mind washing your hands, because all I want is half a pound of liquorice allsorts.’ Racing, too, is all about expectations, and about timing, and having recently for this column visited

Susanna Gross

Bridge | 10 October 2013

The 2013 IBPA (International Bridge Press Association) Awards have just been published — and it’s no great surprise to see the name of the multi-world champion Fulvio Fantoni (formerly of Italy, now of Monaco) scooping ‘Declarer Play of the Year’. Cover up the EW hands and see whether you find the same solution (I certainly didn’t): (1♥: forcing, 3♥: weak, 3♠: cue, 4♠: cue, 5♥: 1 key card.) West led the ♣Q. East’s double at the 3-level, vulnerable, as a passed hand, spoke volumes: Fantoni correctly placed him with a heart void, the black kings, and probably both diamond honors. After a long pause, Fantoni played a low heart to

Raymond Keene

Time for change

Former world champion Garry Kasparov has announced that he will stand for president of Fidé, the World Chess Federation, next year. He is challenging the incumbent, the colourful Kirsan Ilumzinov, former president of Kalmykia. The adjective ‘colourful’ is very much an understatement. An openly declared friend of Saddam Hussein and Colonel Gaddafi, it looked like the death knell for President Assad, when Kirsan popped up in Damascus to discuss the future of schools chess in Syria. So far, though, Assad has escaped the curse of Kirsan. The incumbent also makes no secret of the fact that he is an alien abductee, who could have graced an episode of The X

Raymond Keene

No. 287

White to play. This is from Euwe-Alekhine, Zurich 1934. It looks as if Alekhine may have won Euwe’s knight due to the e-file pin. How did Euwe respond in such a way as to avoid material loss and gain a clear advantage? Answers to me at The Spectator by Tuesday 15 October or via email to victoria@spectator.co.uk. The winner will be the first correct answer out of a hat, and each week I shall be offering a prize of £20. Please include a postal address and allow six weeks for prize delivery.   Last week’s solution 1 f6+ Last week’s winner Ted Ditchburn, Whitley Bay, Tyne and Wear

Billy Bragg

Billy Bragg’s diary: The right does not own freedom

A great night to be in Pittsburgh. The local baseball team, the Pirates, were attempting to reach their first play-offs in 21 years. Meanwhile in Washington DC, a Republican party rejected at the polls last year was seeking to increase its popularity by bringing the government to a halt. On the Strip, a bustling street along the banks of the Allegheny River, it seemed everyone was wearing a shirt declaring his or her allegiance to the Pirates. In the pizza joint where we’d gone before I played my first Pittsburgh gig in nearly two decades, the TV above the bar reported on the stalemate in Washington. But it didn’t feel much

Charles Moore Charles Moore

Charles Moore’s notes: People want revenge on energy companies

Friends of mine called Georgiana and Mouse Campbell recently bought a new house. In the period between completion and moving in, Mouse arranged for British Gas, who supplied the electricity, to switch the account to his name. British Gas said that this involved changing it from a business account to a residential one. While this was supposedly in progress, BG’s business division sent Mouse a bill for £299.80, although the Campbells’ actual use of electricity was virtually nonexistent. Despite many calls to BG, and its promises to sort things out, the company pursued Mouse for the fictional bill with threats of a debt recovery company and damaging his credit rating.

The Spectator

The week: Royal Mail shares; American shutdown; Afghan cricket

Home An issue of shares in Royal Mail was oversubscribed, pushing valuation well above initial forecasts of £3.3 billion. The IMF forecast British growth for 2013 to be 1.4 per cent; its estimate in July had been 0.9 per cent. The Commons Treasury select committee warned the Chancellor of the Exchequer that the government ‘Help to Buy’ scheme was likely to ‘raise house prices rather than stimulate new supply’. Peter Higgs, from Britain, and François Englert from Belgium, shared the Nobel prize for physics, for their work on the Higgs boson. Publicising GCHQ information ‘hands the advantage to the terrorists. It is the gift they need to evade us and

The Spectator

Barometer: How many ghost towns are there in Britain?

Lost property The second-to-last surviving resident of St Kilda — a small archipelago 40 miles off the Outer Hebrides which was abandoned in 1930 — has died. There are more than 4,000 abandoned settlements in Britain: Althorp Medieval village on the Althorp estate, Northamptonshire, removed by the Catesby family in the early 16th century to make way for sheep pasture Imber Isolated village on Wiltshire downs which was evacuated and added to the adjoining military range in 1943 to train US troops. The buildings survive, including a mock housing estate built to simulate conditions in Northern Ireland Rattray Ancient town in Aberdeenshire created Royal Burgh by Mary, Queen of Scots

Dumpynose

2134: Mere letters

Each unclued across light can be paired with a down one (one hyphened). Each member of a pair is an anagram of a name, the two names being linked and the link being the same in each case. The title suggests a sixth such pair. Elsewhere, ignore an apostrophe.   Across 1 Woeful four bond and hoe soldier’s grave (11, three words) 7 Jack reduced weight (3) 13 Punch is sick in bag (7, two words) 15 Practising classy madrigal? (5) 16 Autocrat bridges southern canyon (5) 17 Fresh and bracing Australian skating endlessly? (6) 18 Birds seen fluttering round rook (5) 22 Hairdresser in lift wearing mink? (7) 30

Dumpynose

To 2131: present

Redundant words were: IRAQI (1A), ADO (5A), AENEAS (39A), EPEE (5D), AREA (25D). In line with 16/17, remaining unclued lights were all anagrams of snakes: 18A ASP; 26A COBRA; 36A BOA; 41A FER-DE-LANCE; 31D ELAPID; 33D TAIPAN; 35D ADDER.   First prize Rowan Priestman, Guildford, Surrey Runners-up Margaret Lusk, Fulwood, Lancashire; P. West, Birmingham

Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

The left might not believe it, but The Guardian was morally wrong

The Guardian seems to be hurt that larger selling Fleet Street newspapers (ie almost all of them) have not rallied to its side since Andrew Parker, the boss of MI5, stuck the boot in. Parker eviscerated the North London local paper for publishing material stolen by Edward Snowden, which he said had given a ‘gift’ to terrorists lurking within our midst. It amounted to, he said, the ‘greatest damage to western security in history’ and was ‘hugely harmful’. The Grauniad cheerfully published various details relating to our own information gathering centre, GCHQ, without giving a monkey’s as to the possible ramifications. Of course, it did the same with the indiscriminate

Steerpike Steerpike

Ruff justice at the Westminster Dog of the Year competition

Off to the highlight of Mr Steerpike’s 2013, the Westminster Dog of the Year competition, where the pedigree chums of our elected representatives lined up to compete for a prestigious place on the podium. With Jake Berry’s standard poodle Lola taking a break from the competition after competing three years in a row, someone was needed to fill the role of Westminster Poodle – and Alan Duncan’s Noodle was more than willing to fill Lola’s pawprints.  Although strictly a Cockapoo, so only half poodle (very on-trend, don’t you know), Noodle had gone all-out with her campaigning, even going so far at to write her very own ‘Dogifesto’. She wasn’t alone

Steerpike Steerpike

New minister’s crackdown on beefy builders baring big bottoms

It’s been a busy first few days in the new job for Jane Ellison, who took over as Public Health Minister this week. She’s been dealing with big bottoms – those belonging to builders and hanging over trousers, no less. A cheeky press release from the Department of Health – which features a man with the title ‘Britain’s favourite builder’, Tommy Walsh – this afternoon announced ‘Britain’s beefy builders say bye bye to baring bottoms’, adding that ‘the image of the bottom baring, overweight builder is being replaced by workers who are hands-on well-oiled machines’. Once you get to the, er, bottom, of what on earth the department is talking

Sebastian Payne

Leveson: press regulation is ‘your problem, not mine’

Brian Leveson has no opinions on press regulation, apparently. It just took him three hours to repeat this to MPs, over and over again, peppering his increasingly exasperated answers with ‘with respect’, when he appeared before the Culture, Media and Sport Select Committee this morning. Leveson did his upmost to get through the whole session without tilting one way or another on his inquiry, report or recommendations. But there were a few hints of what he actually thinks. Firstly, Leveson is keen for some progress, particularly from the newspapers themselves. ‘I would be sorry if my recommendations were lost’, he said, adding: ‘I have said… in discussions I had with editors

Steerpike Steerpike

Damian McBride: press regulation ‘disgusts me’

It was one of those parties where it was more interesting to see who wasn’t there, than who was. Last night, Damian McBride raised a glass at the Intercontinental in Westminster to his book Power Trip, which its publisher says is now on the third print run. After it dominated the Labour conference, it was no surprise that barely a single Labour MP turned up (save for Tom Watson, who free from the constraints of Shadow Cabinet, made his considerable presence felt). More interesting though were McBride’s views on press regulation: ‘The journalists in this room do a fantastically important job, including the bloggers, who expose wrongdoing and hold people to