Society Archives

Monday

12 May 2008

1.2 trillion reasons Brown deserves to lose the next election

Trevor Kavanagh’s column in The Sun today brilliantly details the way that £1.229 trillion has been added to the public’s tab over the last ten years—an astonishing £20,500 extra per person. 87 percent and 90 percent increases in health and education spending respectively have not resulted in the transformation of these services. Indeed, all it has done is test to destruction the idea that all these services needed was more money. (Kavanagh’s figures come from this new book) The great tragedy of the last decade is how little the country has to show for a decade of phenomenally benign economic conditions. Much of, if not most of, the blame for

Sunday

11 May 2008

Alex Massie

The Most Preposterous Thing I’ve Read All Week…

And amazingly, it has nothing to do with Hillary Clinton. No, it’s Rangers’ Christian Dailly who, having seen the referee keep the Ibrox club’s SPL title ambitions alive yesterday had the effrontery, the gall, the unmitigated audacity to claim: that since arriving at Ibrox in January he has formed the impression that Rangers are more often on the wrong end of decisions. “There have been lots of decisions not given that should have been given in our favour,” he said. “It looks like a couple went our way today, but that is not the norm.” Words fail me. American readers may consider that this is akin to Michael Jordan complaining

Alex Massie

Irn Bru For Me And You

Irn Bru – the fabled amber nectar of the glens, the monarch of the fizzy pop world – has always been distinguished by the quality of its advertisements. Happily, this latest one, a take on Kipling’s If, is just as quirky and oddly charming as we’ve come to expect. Top stuff. It used to be said – with pride! – that Scotland was one of the few countries in the world in which both Coca-Cola and Pepsi had to give way to a market-leading indigenous pop. If memory serves this disconcerted the bosses in Atlanta, stinging them into setting up a scottish task force to topple Irn Bru. Clearly, this

Saturday

10 May 2008

The Spectator

Letters | 10 May 2008

Israel and Palestine Sir: Melanie Phillips (‘Happy 60th birthday, Israel’, 3 May) denies Israel one of its greatest successes over the last 60 years by deliberately ignoring its status as a regional military and economic superpower. The image of Israel as a David to an Arab Goliath is massively outdated. Arab states have long since given up any notion of trying to defeat a US-backed, nuclear-armed Israel, but have offered Israel a full withdrawal for full peace option. Another blind spot is Phillips’s routine denial of Palestinian identity. This is as idiotic as denying an Israeli identity. Even Israel’s leaders have begrudgingly accepted this. In addition, she continually condones all

Jeremy Clarke

Train strain

Bank holiday Saturday afternoon and I’m standing in a jam-packed railway carriage bound for Cardiff in Wales. If I lift my head, my face is in my nearest neighbour’s face, so I’m contemplating my feet. A Welsh woman somewhere is holding a long and intimate telephone conversation in a voice loud enough for all in the carriage to follow it. ‘My little one-stop shop? Is that what he called me? I’ll kill him. If I’m his little one-stop shop, then he’s Kwik Fit — and you can tell him I said that.’ I’m going to Cardiff to look at a Citroën Picasso. I’ve just looked over one at Southampton, but

Melissa Kite

A snag or two

Once a year, usually at the beginning of summer, it suddenly occurs to me that the entire house is about to fall down. The realisation that every job I’ve allowed to accumulate is about to visit disaster on me — my DIY judgment day — usually occurs around the May bank holiday when the air is filled with the sound of good people drilling. This year I knew the day of reckoning had come as soon as I opened my eyes. I looked to the left and my giant black rabbit BB was sitting on the bed chewing through my mobile-phone headset, his mouth full of wires disappearing upwards like

Taki

Make or break

I am heartbroken but for once it is not over a girl. I have to stay in the Bagel, hence missing The Spectator’s 180th anniversary party, Pug’s club’s first annual meeting in our new digs, Countess Bismarck’s dinner, Nick Scott’s shindig, and so on. Not having set foot in London in months, I was looking forward to it, but it’s not to be. I should be celebrating because one of the reasons I didn’t like living in London any more was Ken Livingstone. Now he’s voted out, Taki can come back in — it’s as simple as that. One thing is for sure. London could do with a makeover. Better

Frances Osborne

Diary – 10 May 2008

On Monday morning I am outwitted by my four-year-old daughter, who manages to leave for school in a light cotton dress on a phenomenally cold and wet spring day. That night I therefore take myself to Chelsea Town Hall for the launch of The Seven Secrets of Parenting: Or How to Achieve the Almost Impossible. I pick up a copy and read ‘Ditch the guilt’. Sold. On to the Getty Images Gallery for a campaign to find adoptive parents for thousands of British children. The photographer Cambridge Jones, himself adopted at the age of two, has joined forces with Barnardo’s and a host of celebrities to put together portraits of

Charles Moore

The Spectator’s Notes | 10 May 2008

The growing power of Islam in Britain has forced the British public to learn more about its component parts — Sunnis and Shiites, Deobandis and Barelwis, and so on. By the same token, I feel it is time for a more thorough understanding of Etonians as they start their reconquista of our country. They divide into two groups — Collegers and Oppidans. At any one time, there are only 70 Collegers and more than 1,200 Oppidans, but Collegers are scholars and represent the original purpose of the foundation, so they have an importance beyond their numbers. Collegers tend to live off their wits, Oppidans off their inheritance. Oppidans are more

Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 10 May 2008

Monday Hooray! Britain is going Conservative crazy!! The sun is shining and all over the country people are waking up to the exciting new force in British politics!!! Actually, I haven’t really woken up. Am still hungover from the Boris victory party. Have champagne headache, cigar sore throat and strange blotches all over my left leg which I seem to remember involved an accident with an ice sculpture. Also think may have had row later in the evening at after-party party with horrid lefty columnist (why does Dave insist on inviting them?) who dared to claim we were ‘The Same Old Tories’. Assured him there was nothing ‘the same’ about

Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 10 May 2008

Q. Please advise me. I have a friend whose mobile has no signal when she is at home. When I ring her landline her father always says he will pass the message on that I have rung but he often forgets. She does not call me back and I do not like to annoy her father by ringing again in case she is still not in. He always says, ‘No problem. I’ll make sure she gets the message,’ but he always seems to forget. P.W., Wiltshire A. Say ‘Would it be all right if I call back in a bit? I’m going somewhere where there is no signal so she

Toby Young

Status Anxiety | 10 May 2008

I managed to crash the Vanity Fair Oscars party – but not Boris’s victory do It was not until I saw Boris making his acceptance speech at City Hall just after midnight that I decided to gatecrash his victory party. I was quite drunk, having just hosted a dinner party, and my wife had long gone to bed. The only two girls remaining were about to share a cab home together, but I implored them to come with me to Millbank Tower where the celebrations were already underway. ‘Are you sure we’ll get in?’ asked one of them as I squeezed into the taxi. ‘Are you kidding?’ I said. ‘I’m

Christa D’Souza

Islands in the sun

Christa D’Souza plans a Caribbean summer Hate crowds? Haven’t booked your summer holidays yet? Want to feel like you’re getting your money’s worth just this once? If so, let me make a suggestion. Instead of going to the south of France or Puglia this summer, why not try the Caribbean? It may sound perverse, going when the mosquitoes, jellyfish and hurricanes are at their worst, but if you pick the right island, you may find the climate and conditions pretty much the same as they are in high season, with the added bonus of swimming in sea water which, unlike the Mediterranean in August, is relatively sewage-free. Think! The satisfaction

Dot Wordsworth

Mind Your Language | 10 May 2008

The events of 1 May seem a long time ago, and so does their sequel, a so-called fightback by the Labour party. A press briefing last Sunday declared in a fine froth of mixed metaphors: ‘Gordon Brown will seek to kick-start Labour’s fightback today after its mauling at the polls.’ Fightback is a handy word for politicians because it suggests more than it says. It bears an ambiguous meaning, either ‘retaliation’ (which would sound too spiteful for a party done down by the electorate) or ‘recovery’ (which is the end hoped for, but certainly not guaranteed). The word has been around for the past 50 years or so, and is

Alex Massie

A Tartan Army Polka

Ah, apparently we’re supporting Poland this summer. Good to get that decided early. AFTER 10 years of being unable to cheer on their favourites at the finals of a big football tournament, the Tartan Army is switching sides to back Poland at this summer’s European championships. The supporters’ organisation – with 1,500 members and dozens of branches in the country – has thrown its weight behind the eastern European side after all the home nations were knocked out of the competition. Since 2004, more than 40,000 Poles have come to Scotland and the Tartan Army foot soldiers have vowed to show solidarity with their new neighbours. Pubs and restaurants in

James Forsyth

Obama failed this week as well as Clinton

James Forsyth says that Hillary’s disappointment in Tuesday’s primaries is matched by the decline in Obama’s image, as the sheen of the wunderkind fades and doubts multiply Barack Obama entered the arena on Tuesday night to Bruce Springsteen’s ‘The Rising’. But a more appropriate song would have been ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ by the Rolling Stones. For although Obama did not get the two victories he wanted (in Indiana and North Carolina) to knock Hillary out of the race, he got what he needed: a far bigger win in North Carolina than Hillary Clinton achieved in Indiana. So after these two contests, Obama is within touching distance

Roger Alton

Spectator Sport | 10 May 2008

The infinite capacity of men to talk utter balls about football should never amaze, but the level of spiteful twaddle spouted about Chelsea’s Avram Grant, which started at volume 11, is laughable. This decent, courteous, humorous and intensely honourable man was put in charge of a team of highly gifted, absurdly paid, over-ego’d individuals who were capable of playing profoundly tedious football and has turned them into what is easily right now the most attractive team in the Premiership. But still fans whine and experts carp. God, it’s awful stuff. So why isn’t Avram Grant getting the respect, admiration and, er, love he deserves? It is baffling: here are Chelsea

Fraser Nelson

Cameron gets ready for No. 10 — and Boris must wait his turn

David Cameron talks to Fraser Nelson about his local election triumphs, admits that he is not going to ‘agree on everything’ with the new Mayor of London, and says Boris should join the queue to become PM after him The victorious David Cameron is being driven towards Buckingham Palace, the adrenaline of election success still pumping through his veins. Crowds line The Mall, peering into the blackened glass of his limousine. But when he approaches the Palace, his car turns for the A4 and the reverie is shattered. He’s on his way to Crewe for the by-election, setting off by car because of train cancellations. The crowds were for someone

Lucy Vickery

A to P

In Competition No. 2543 you were invited to submit a poem about the things people need to live on, in which the first letter of each line spells out the first 16 letters of the alphabet. Martin Parker, self-confessed ‘crawler’, played the flattery card (he was not alone), which had no bearing whatsoever, of course, on his inclusion in the winners’ enclosure. His is a Betjeman-esque nostalgia for a now almost bygone era. It provides a nice counterpoint to Mike Morrison’s grim lament on what makes today’s world go around. He bags the extra fiver, while the other winners, printed below, net £25 each. Honourable mentions to Brian Murdoch, Basil

Barry Humphries

London Notebook

Only the most venerable and knowledgeable London cab driver has heard of Belsize Circus, a roundabout near the slums of Kilburn Heights where I have my lodgings. During the second world war many bombs fell nearby but, as was the case with most of London, the worst damage by far was wrought after the war by local councils and town-planners. This morning I saw a massive new building arising on the site of an innocuous petrol station. It is already so transcendentally hideous it could only have been enthusiastically approved by Camden Council. It claims to have been put up by something called the Notting Hill Housing Association and is