Society

Saturday

1 Dec 2007

Letters | 1 December 2007

New world order Sir: Poor old Irwin Stelzer is stuck in an Atlantico-centric world in which the main debate is still about choosing between Europe and America and deciding which side of the Atlantic Ocean is top dog (‘The Special Relationship is between Washington and Brussels’, 24 November). When will Washington, or Brussels, grasp that this world has now disappeared? Power and influence have now moved away from the Atlantic powers and in three new directions — to a billion or more participants in the world wide web, to two billion-plus new capitalists in Asia and to the lands of the petrodollars — the latter two now generating most of

Richard Sennett

Talking turkey | 1 December 2007

With the holidays approaching, foodies are grumbling again about turkey. The domesticated bird is overweight, too fat to fly; in cooking, turkeys easily dry out; their meat, especially the breast, is tasteless. Why bother? So I thought many years ago, when I served instead at Christmas a suckling pig, beautifully stretched out on the platter, paws forward, an apple in its mouth, skin golden-glazed, flesh succulent. My spouse accused me of culinary sadism, my son was driven to years of vegetarianism. The cooked bird is certainly inoffensive by contrast and — who knows? — perhaps therefore theologically more acceptable. Still, there are steps you can take to make turkey more

Melissa Kite

Glum night out

Ten minutes into Les Misérables my boyfriend turned to me and whispered, ‘Is it just me or is this Charlie Rap?’ As the thunderous clatter of a large prop being unceremoniously dropped backstage reverberated around the mournfully tatty Queen’s Theatre, I concurred that the legendary musical was indeed a load of Mr Charles. It was also Kieron Dyer. And downright Pete Tong. Despite everything that has ever been written about it stating the exact opposite, it seemed embarrassingly obvious to me that for some bizarre reason, perhaps for one night only, the plot was stupid, the music was awful and most of those on stage could neither sing, act, dance

Taki

Champion secrets

New York I’m not sure which of the two sights was funnier: hundreds of Brit bargain-hunters huffing and puffing and laden with enormous shopping bags while taking advantage of the shot-to-hell dollar, or the English football heroes huffing and puffing and being sliced up by the national team of a tiny country which didn’t exist 20 years ago. Crossing the ocean in order to shop used to be the privilege of the very rich. Now it’s the overweight and over-tattooed who do the overseas shopping. I have witnessed more dignified scenes in Africa while the Red Cross distributes food to the starving. And as far as football is concerned, there

Mary Killen

Your problems solved | 1 December 2007

Q. My very nice Polish cleaner wants my husband and I [sic] to come to her house for dinner one evening and, to be brutally frank, we don’t want to. Her English is very limited, my Polish non-existent, and I think it would be a night of sheer hell for all of us. Please can you come up with a cast-iron permanent excuse? At the moment I have told her that my husband is unwell, but he can’t be sick for ever. A.J., London W5 A. You have missed the point. What could be better than to go to someone’s house and be served with a free, probably delicious, dinner

Toby Young

Simon Pegg is a winsome actor, but even he may struggle to make me look charming

Actors claim that the hardest thing about their profession is the ever-present possibility of rejection, but they have it easy compared to authors. First we have to find favour with an agent, then a publisher, then an editor, then the critics — on and on it goes. Rejection hangs over us like the Sword of Damocles, ready to fall at any second. Of the tens of thousands of authors working in the UK, the number who actually make a living from writing books — that is, earn enough to give up their day jobs — is probably no more than a dozen. Even those few authors who are lucky enough

Dot Wordsworth

Mind your language | 1 December 2007

He’s the man who gave us The Meaning of Tingo, full of words that look funny in English (bum, Arabic for ‘owl’) or encapsulate an idea that it takes a sentence in English to explain. Very amusing it was too. My husband kept reading bits out while I was peeling the potatoes. Then doubts crept in. Could tingo, a word from Easter Island, really mean ‘to borrow things from a friend’s house, one by one, until there’s nothing left’? Mr Jacot de Boinod’s definition came from They Have a Word for It: A Lighthearted Lexicon of Untranslatable Words and Phrases, by Howard Rheingold (1988). Mr Rheingold does not say ‘until

Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill nobody | 1 December 2007

Monday Am worried and confused. Just back from Forward Planning Meeting and whole of Grid for next three months is choc-a-bloc with extremely scary stuff. Clampdowns on everything from malingering benefit claimants to selfish single mums. New catchphrases include: ‘Prison Works’, ‘On Your Bike!’ and ‘Women! Know your working limits!’ Nothing about the environment. Not a mention of my idea for an ethical Xmas gifts campaign based around Dave visiting Malawi to present a desperate family with a goat on behalf of each modernising participant. Only thing that was even remotely compassionate was clampdown on multi-faith nativity plays. And that was only a bit nice because we are going to

Simon Sebag Montefiore

Diary – 1 December 2007

It has been a monarchical week — despite the election of a republican in Australia. I don’t just mean the Queen’s wedding anniversary, Ugandan tour, and the unveiling of the BBC’s famous TV series (of which more later). No, I’m thinking of the blossoming of the world’s more traditional monarchies — by which I mean the new hereditary-Leninist absolutist thrones that have sprung up around the world. The dynasty of President Assad the Second of Syria has received the boost of sending a delegation to America’s Annapolis conference. Azerbaijan’s President Aliev the Second and Congo’s Kabila the Second remain western favourites. Now in North Korea, the Stalinist god-king Kim (Jong-Il)

Peter Jones

Ancient & Modern | 01 December 2007

Mission statements and codes of practice are all the rage today among business communities. Everyone has to have one. The trouble is, they are all the same, and consist mostly of strings of platitudes about ‘best practice’ and ‘personal integrity’. ‘Investors in People’ is a favourite example, invented (probably) by the CEOs of the 17th-century slave trade. Had Aristotle been asked to do better, he might well have come up with the following approach. Discussing what the good man needs to do to produce good results, Aristotle says that of any action we undertake we need to ensure that we have got it right in relation to: 1. The time

Alex Massie

Fail, Fail and Fail Again. So Why Bother Changing?

If you only read one article this weekend, might I suggest you make it Ben Wallace-Wells long and brilliant Rolling Stone piece on the multiple – if well-intentioned – idiocies and failures of the War on Drugs. Since it’s been running since the Nixon administration you might think that it’s time for a fresh approach. Wallace-Wells concludes on a hopeful note: there are grass roots signs of a shift in attitudes amongst police departments across America and there are some signs that Democrats and some Republicans are learning from the War’s manifest $50bn a year failure. On the other hand, Washington is sufficiently thrilled with the success of Plan Colombia

Fraser Nelson

Paper chase

Having trawled the papers for a 7am slot on Sky News, I can perhaps save you some trouble. Buy The Times today: it is simply brilliant. It’s splash tells us that MI5 has confirmed that British businesses are the subject of internet espionage by Chinese state organisations. This is laden with implications, especially in an era when the government is so lax about the information it has on us. Francis Elliot has penned a great summary of donorgate. Then we have one of those brilliant Times graphics which itself tells a story: how badly Brits survive cancer amongst Europeans yet (typically) spend more than anyone (words online, graphic isn’t). But crowning

Martin Vander Weyer

Time gentlemen please

Does anyone actually resign anymore? Nowadays a resignation is regarded not as a final act but as a temporary career break and that’s bad for business. Paul Gray – the former head of HM Revenue and Customs who ‘resigned’ two weeks ago after someone in his department posted the names, addresses and bank details of millions of citizens to another bureaucrat and it never arrived – has ‘returned to work for the government’, according to a Channel 4 News and The Guardian . The mandarin who fell on his sword has miraculously bounced off it again and into a £200,000-a-year post in the Cabinet Office, where he is said to

Brendan O’Neill

Help! I’m a Marxist who defends capitalism

As one of the Marxists named in James Delingpole’s recent Spectator article (3 November) on his alleged conversion to the commie cause, I really should be angrier about reckless, risk-hungry, overambitious bankers. Yet I find myself in the curious position today of thinking capitalism isn’t risk-hungry enough, certainly in areas where it matters: developing the forces of production and creating new wealth. I also find myself shaking my head in violent disagreement whenever I hear so-called radicals put the boot into capitalism. They seem to loathe the very parts of the capitalist system that Marx quite liked. Delingpole’s crisis of Tory/commie identity is nothing compared with mine: Help! I’m a

Lucy Vickery

Right on

In Competition 2522 you were asked to submit a right-wing protest song. There are some fine examples of this underexploited genre in Tim Robbins’s mock-documentary film Bob Roberts which features a guitar-playing senatorial candidate who appropriates the language of the Sixties protest movement to peddle his ultra-conservative message. The campaign trail is peppered with numbers such as ‘Times Are Changin’ Back’ and ‘My Land’, which rail against drugs and lazy people. The standard was disappointing this week, with only four of you making the cut. Most went for the anthemic model of Bob Dylan or Pete Seeger, but this is hard to pull off from a right-wing perspective that lacks

Frank Keating

Nowhere to hide

Clueless about who, where or what to turn to next, I wonder which was history’s first body to announce a ‘full and far-reaching commission of enquiry’ in which to cover itself with a sub judice blanket until the army of furious castigators either runs out of rotten tomatoes or turns their bombardment of scorn to other targets. The English Football Association’s ‘drastic root-and-branch examination of every aspect’ of the national team’s past and future performance is neither more, nor less, than that. And however long the charade plays on — however many ‘consultation’ documents are ordered and foreign ‘research’ freebies taken — I doubt if the FA, or those of

Andrey Slivka

‘Money-culture is ruining Kiev’

Kiev Well, this was a fine one — the story of my fellow Yank Robert Fletcher, who’d been making a living hiring himself out in Ukraine, where I live, as a ‘millionaire mentor’ — that is, someone who could teach strivers from Sumy and Dniprodzerzhinsk how to get rich, for a reported fee of about $3,000 a head. Fletcher, I read in the news here, had been arrested trying to cross into Russia using a fraudulent passport, and he was the greatest thing I’d seen in a while: a massive hillbilly of early middle age, his hot-curled blond locks flowing around the crumb-eyed head of the rustic who rips you

Ross Clark

Too much security makes us all a lot less secure

Here is a little paradox. For 30 years during the Troubles you have been taking the Belfast to Stranraer ferry. No one asked you for identification: you just bought your ticket and off you went, even though it is quite possible that among your fellow passengers on one of those journeys was a terrorist smuggling bomb-making equipment into mainland Britain. Eventually, peace is restored to Northern Ireland. And what happens? Suddenly you can’t travel without a passport or ID card, and all your luggage is scanned. Once in Belfast you decide to take a train to Dublin, a journey you have been making unhindered for 30 years. When you book

Mary Wakefield

‘We are at war with all Islam’

Last Tuesday at nightfall, as the servants of democracy fled SW1, a young Somali woman stood spotlit on a stage in Westminster. Behind her was the illuminated logo for the Centre for Social Cohesion: a white hand reaching down across England to help a brown one up; in front, an audience of some of Britain’s biggest brains — politicians, editors, academics. She drew her shawl a little closer round her shoulders, looked up and said: ‘We are not at war with “terror”, that would make no sense.’ ‘Hear, hear,’ said a voice at the back. ‘Terror is just a tactic used by Islam,’ she continued. ‘We are actually at war,

Leo McKinstry

How to waste £2.3 billion of public money

In these times of green awareness, waste management has become an increasingly fashionable issue for the public sector, always keen to find new excuses for bureaucratic intervention. The South East England Development Agency (Seeda), one of the many quangos created by Labour over the past decade, has certainly latched on to this cause in a big way. It has drawn up a ‘Waste Strategy’, set up a ‘Waste Market Development Group’, established a ‘Business Resource Efficiency and Waste Programme’, and convened ‘stakeholder workshops’ to promote ‘sustainable waste management’. As if this frenzy were not enough, the agency also organised the grandly titled ‘Regional Waste Summit’ last year. Yet now we