Society

Saturday

Richard Northedge

The myth of affordable housing

The latest non-job in Britain’s town halls is the affordable housing officer The latest non-job in Britain’s town halls is the affordable housing officer, a bureaucrat with the brief of bringing down the price of property. What local and central government mean by ‘affordable housing’ is, of course, housing that is more affordable, but the fact is that all housing is affordable, otherwise it would not sell or let. Not all housing is affordable to everyone, however — but then it never was. Affordable housing (lack of) is nevertheless one of the causes of the day for the something-must-be-down-about-it campaigners. There is a National Affordable Housing Programme. A coalition of

John Andrews

The streets are alive with hip-hop — but there’s still plenty of gold beneath them

In the mountains south of Zurich, as winter approaches, the farmers bring their cows down. The snowbound higher pastures will soon be empty, and the precious cattle walk down in traditional processions, some decorated with small flowers, the streets of the villages echoing with the sound of the famous cowbells. It’s a time-honoured tradition, and no one is ancient enough to remember when it began. Switzerland, the world’s oldest democracy, has existed as a recognisable country for over 700 years, and that’s enough time to build up more than a few traditions. The Swiss value constancy, solidity, continuity; these are integral parts of their culture — the canvas on which

Simon Courtauld

Talking turkey

There won’t be any wild turkeys eaten in Britain this Christmas. There won’t be any wild turkeys eaten in Britain this Christmas. However, a few of these birds, which are indigenous to north and central America, are being reared in south-west England. It is possible that one or two dark-plumaged turkeys may be seen in flight over Salisbury Plain or the hills of Devon, though no one is yet treating them as game birds, which they are in the USA. In the eastern states, in Texas and New Mexico, the male birds are shot — when strutting about they have beautifully fanned tails — and no doubt their gamey taste

Jaspistos

Celebration

In Competition No. 2471 you were given two opening lines and invited to supply an appropriate song or lyric. No room for chitchat this week. Commendations go to W.J. Webster, Keith Norman and G.M. Davis. The prizewinners, printed below, get £25 each, and the bonus fiver lands in the lap of Brian Murdoch. Once I was only a wannabee,But now I’m a big celebrity,Because I’ve done realityOn Friday nights on the TV.Now although I’m only twenty-threeAnd I haven’t a single GCSE,I’m writing my autobiography(Well, somebody’s doing the words for me).It’s easy-peasy to get to beA really big celebrityAnd you don’t have to do much for your fee,You only have to

Frank Keating

Two-horse race

Football’s European Champions’ League awaits the serious new year stuff once a few loose ends are tied on Wednesday. Football’s European Champions’ League awaits the serious new year stuff once a few loose ends are tied on Wednesday. Arsenal and Manchester United each need only to draw, respectively against Porto and Benfica, and only abject pessimists in red shirts need fret — Arsenal beat Porto well enough at home in the qualifying game and although missing their totem, Henry, through suspension next week they have been showing an increasing zest in Europe; and United, of course, have not lost a Champions’ League group game at Old Trafford since 2001. In

Saturday

Jeremy Clarke

Out of this world

After chucking-out time a few of us went round to Trev’s to smoke crack through a water-pipe. Water-pipes can be tricky and when it was my go I sensibly asked for assistance. Step forward an unusually introspective Trev, who held the pipe for me and diligently put a flame over the drug, leaving me free to concentrate on drawing the smoke that accumulated above the waterline steadily into my lungs. Then I retired from the mouthpiece, taking my lungful of Class-A smoke with me, and went and sat down on the sofa beside the others, feeling immediately warm and open-hearted. At this point my phone rang. I fished it out

Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 25 November 2006

MONDAY Life is just one long crisis. Big row over what to take to Sudan in Lord A’s jet. I just thought that a few Harrods hampers thrown in with the medical supplies might cheer people up a bit, although possibly I shouldn’t have forked out for them myself on my account card. (Have given up on ever paying it off now, no matter what Gideon says.) Then had to sort out hacks who were bored and demanding more ‘access’ before trip had even started. Told them, you’re on the jet, only ten rows down from Dave, and we’ve put you in the next best hotel to ours. What more

Tony Hall

Diary – 25 November 2006

Beijing Last time I was in China it was for the handover in Hong Kong. I stood in Tiananmen Square with tens of thousands of others as the clock went to midnight. This time another clock is ticking — counting down to the eighth of the eighth of 2008, an especially chosen auspicious date, for the opening of the Olympic Games. *** Beijing in nine years is transformed. Not just the Starbucks you see as you come though customs. Not just the buildings, the ring roads; for Tiananmen Square itself is changing, and at one corner an egg is growing. It is the National Grand Theatre, a great shining blob

Mary Killen

Dear Mary… | 25 November 2006

Q. I attend a small weekly prayer group in my tiny local church. Some mildly personal (not intimate) matters are made topics of prayer. Before the last meeting, being a moderately vain male, I happened to have my hair styled and lightly tinted (my natural colour). Immediately on my leaving the church, the remaining three parishioners broke out into raucous laughter (I could hear them through the solid oak door). The laughter was clearly a reaction to me; I am not being paranoid. I feel reluctant to join them again, yet I should not be kept away by their finding me ridiculous. Should I ask them bluntly why they laughed

Alan Judd

Look to Korea

Ford recently declared losses of £3 billion in three months and is to ‘restate’ its earnings since 2001. According to my (failed) eleven-plus maths, that’s around £30 million a day. How long can any company survive such haemorrhaging? All right, it includes one-off job-shedding and writing-down asset costs, with provisions for restructuring and 30,000 redundancies. But, even allowing for that, it’s still losing around £6–£8 million a day, with no end in sight despite new CEO Alan Mulally’s prediction that North American operations will return to profit in 2009. Conventional wisdom has it that Ford’s problems are structural and deep-rooted, worsened by US pension, medical and legal liabilities. But essentially

The Spectator

Letters to the Editor | 25 November 2006

Calling time on legislation From Christopher W. Robson Sir: In your leading article ‘To govern is not to legislate’ (18 November), you quote the late Ralph Harris as arguing that there should be a department for repealing laws. May I suggest that the creation of new laws has now reached a pitch where it would be wise to introduce a rule that all legislation should automatically lapse after a prescribed period unless an express resolution by Parliament calls for its continuance? Only in this way can the vast volume of legislation be controlled and the very important thrust of your article be delivered. Remember â” Ignorantia juris neminem excusat. Too

Laura Gascoigne

Who needs prizes?

This week the Painters’ Hall in the City of London opened its doors for the second time to The Lynn Painter-Stainers Prize, launched last year by the Worshipful Company of Painter-Stainers and the Lynn Foundation to promote the art of representational painting. The exhibition (on view until 2 December) is the newest addition to a growing list of prizes set up since the 1980s by interested parties to reverse the decline in specific areas of art. Some have been conspicuously successful: the BP Portrait Award, now the National Portrait Gallery’s most popular annual show, has played a major role in reviving the interest of younger artists in the genre of

Andrew Lambirth

Eminent Victorians

At Leighton House in Holland Park, one of the most delightful of London’s museums, is currently an exhibition of drawings by the master of the house himself, Lord Leighton (1830–96). It’s the culmination of a major programme of cataloguing and conservation, supported by the Heritage Lottery Fund, and is on the first leg of a national tour lasting until spring 2008. The show consists of 55 drawings with a handful of paintings and is accompanied by an excellent catalogue (£15 in paperback). Leighton was unusual in placing a high value on his drawings and keeping virtually every one he made (amounting to 1,650 by the time of his death), though

Patrick Carnegy

Raising the dead

In his late ‘romances’ Shakespeare reaches out for happy endings in which sinners are forgiven and the unjustly dead restored to life. This, plainly enough, is territory more problematic than his worlds of tragedy and comedy. For Cymbeline, the RSC’s Complete Works cycle ordered up a rewrite from the Cornish Kneehigh troupe and for The Tempest exiled Prospero to the Arctic. Pericles and The Winter’s Tale it handed to Dominic Cooke, who now subjects both plays to trial by promenade performance. Cooke has cleared out the stalls, thereby creating as large a playground for actors and standee spectators as the Swan will allow. Your £15 ticket buys you a  participatory

Simon Hoggart

Christmas Wine Club

Click here to send an order by email This is our last Christmas offer for 2006, and contains a great many wines, starting with Corney & Barrow’s house white1 and house red6. Both are highly popular with Spectator readers, being inexpensive and quite delicious. The white is lemony and zestful, the red soft, mellow and possessing real depth. They are both — like all wines in this offer — discounted and, if Adam Brett-Smith will excuse me, they are an excellent way of padding your order to qualify for the fabled Brett-Smith Indulgence. This year we are offering a mixed case of the two, just right for a smallish party

Judi Bevan

The kitchen table tycoons

Judi Bevan says that new technology has at last created real liberation for women — by enabling them to run successful businesses from home Kitchen table tycoons — the new buzz phrase to describe women who set up their own businesses from home — now account for £4.4 billion of sales a year, according to Professor Tim Leunig at the London School of Economics. Their numbers are rising rapidly; research by Barclays Bank showed that women started a fifth of all new businesses this year compared with just 13 per cent in 1996. Technology has done for women what Germaine Greer’s rhetoric never could — delivered them genuine autonomy over

Merryn Somerset-Webb

Ignore your conscience: big oil still beats green power

If you are the kind of person who believes the things the City says, you might by now be almost convinced that we don’t really need oil any more. If you are the kind of person who believes the things the City says, you might by now be almost convinced that we don’t really need oil any more. Within seconds of the publication of the Stern report every analyst in town had become an expert on green energy, and investors were being advised to put their money in everything from wind, solar and wave power to fuel cells and biomass electricity plants, all of which were being put about as

Frank Keating

Testing times | 25 November 2006

How goes it at the Gabba? We shall know by now how the first Ashes Test is panning out. Have radio’s pre-dawn choruses from Brisbane already been ruining your days? Or making them brighter? Was it a dramatic start on Thursday? Who leapt headlong from the traps? Have England kept their nerve? Are the Aussies showing their age? Or their innate, dismissive swagger? Down the years, England have made a habit of messing up in the opening Ashes Test down under; surely they haven’t done it again, have they? I winced at Mike Atherton’s ruefully sarky reply early this week when he was asked what he would do if he

Paul Johnson

A writer plays hookey with a magic paintbox

At a time when I should be writing my book on human monsters — goaded on by the many ingenious suggestions from readers of this column — I have actually been painting. There are many reasons for this disgraceful irresponsibility. First, the delicious autumn weather and the tremendous rainbow of colours it has coaxed out of the generous earth. The greenies who accuse us of destroying our planet are too young to remember the Novembers of my youth, when blankets of fog, greenish-grey and poisonous, descended in early November and often clung to southeast England for weeks at a time, stretching from Berkshire to Essex, and particularly virulent in London

The Spectator

Parliamentarian of the Year | 25 November 2006

The 23rd annual Threadneedle/ Spectator Parliamentarian of the Year lunch took place last Thursday at Claridge’s. The prizes were presented by the Rt Hon. David Cameron MP, Leader of the Opposition. Welcoming Mr Cameron, Matthew d’Ancona, the editor of The Spectator, observed that, in less than a year as Conservative leader, he had dislodged Beckham as the most popular Dave in the country, shown his fellow Tories that a glacier is not just a kind of mint, and taught the political world that green is more than the colour of envy. NEWCOMER OF THE YEAR Julia Goldsworthy MP The judges faced a difficult task selecting one MP from the intake