Society

The delights of two-timing

Looking back and trying to choose just one out of those incomparably bewitching women of one’s youth can be tricky. Giselle was definitely one of them – blonde, French, mesmeric, an apparition – but so was Kiki, very white-skinned, also French, patrician and very sexy. They were friends, those two, but they fell out after they chose the same boyfriend. They were also married to men who knew and liked the boyfriend, but back then such things were commonplace, and it was Paris after all. Both ladies are still alive and now quite old, Giselle a widow, Kiki a princess. There were many other beauties, of course, but those two

Bridge | 9 July 2022

In one respect, it would be so much easier to play a game like poker or chess than bridge; if you play badly you only embarrass yourself – you don’t have partners or teammates to worry about. Mistakes at the bridge table are doubly painful when we imagine our partners rolling their eyes, or our teammates moaning behind our backs – and we’re not being paranoid, they probably are. But we shouldn’t be too thin-skinned; it’s important to remember that even the best players screw up. If you want to feel better about yourself, all you need to do is go online and kibitz some of the major tournaments. During

Just Stop Oil’s protest is doomed to fail

The eco-mob is at it again. Members of the protest group Just Stop Oil have progressed from blocking fuel terminals to disrupting the British Grand Prix and gluing themselves to the frames of paintings in galleries and museums across the country. To which anyone with even the vaguest recollection of the traffic-stopping stunts of Insulate Britain must sigh, ‘Not very original’. Last Wednesday, a pair of activists stuck themselves to the frame of a nineteenth-century landscape by Horatio McCulloch at Kelvingrove Art Gallery in Glasgow. The following day, another pair selected the decidedly more famous ‘Peach Trees in Blossom’ by Vincent van Gogh at London’s Courtauld Gallery for the sticky-fingered

Brendan O’Neill

I stand with Macy Gray

There’s a new heretic in town. It’s the great Macy Gray. Ms Gray has uttered that most blasphemous of beliefs – that a man can never become a woman, even if he has his bits lopped off. Cue the pointing of fingers and howls of ‘BIGOT!’. If this were the 15th century this is the point at which Ms Gray would be marched off to the stake. It was on Piers Morgan’s Talk TV show that Gray came out as someone who understands biology – a dangerous thing to do in the 21st century. In her soulful, plain-speaking style she said:  ‘Just because you go change your parts doesn’t make

Gus Carter

The rise of the neo-Luddites

Yesterday, a pair of Just Stop Oil protesters glued themselves to a John Constable painting in the National Gallery, covering The Hay Wain with a printout of an alternative vision of England. The cart crossing the River Stour in Suffolk is perhaps Constable’s most famous painting. But instead of a bucolic, biscuit tin Albion, Just Stop Oil’s version shows the Stour tarmacked over, a belching power plant in the distance and a commercial jet overhead. The message is clear: our modern world is sick. I have some sympathy with these student activists, or at least I envy their certainty. Their view of the world is simple: bad things like fossil fuels,

Lisa Haseldine

Chechen warlord Kadyrov mocks Zelensky in spoof video

A strange video of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is currently circulating online. In it, he sits at his presidential table, dressed in his trademark khaki t-shirt. Staring straight down the camera, he addresses the Ukrainian people: ‘Dear citizens!’ At first glance, it could really be one of Zelensky’s nightly addresses. Except, almost immediately, you notice the meaty disembodied hand gripping him by the left shoulder. With apparent distress, Zelensky continues, announcing the surrender of Ukraine on ‘land, sea and air’. The meaty arm shakes him to get him to spit the words out, committing Ukraine to ‘complete denazification’ within a month of signing. Kadyrov is mocking Zelensky and the Ukrainian

Philip Patrick

Why is the BBC’s women’s football coverage so patronising?

Be honest, how excited are you about the women’s European football championship? The BBC – which will broadcast every game of the tournament that starts on Wednesday – clearly expects you to be very excited indeed. But is the BBC in danger of overhyping women’s football, and doing it and the players a disservice in the process? Our national broadcaster has form here. The coverage of the women’s World Cup of 2019 was similarly comprehensive and exhaustingly upbeat. Decent games were ‘wonderful’, mediocre games ‘good’; and ways were found to describe stinkers in some way or other positively. There were few poor players, just disappointing performances by hugely talented individuals.

Sam Leith

The past stinks

‘Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could,’ says Jeff Goldblum’s character in Jurassic Park, ‘they didn’t stop to think if they should’. These, among the wisest of that fictional oracle’s many wise words, are what came to mind as I read of a whizzy new pan-European science project called Odeuropa. Historians and chemists in Holland, Germany, Italy, France and Slovenia along with colleagues at UCL and in Cambridge, have spent two years, apparently, working to synthesize the smells of the past. In Germany, they’re even training machines to recognise images relating to smell in libraries of historical images – a notable f’rinstance being pictures of people holding their

John Connolly

Why is a former French colony joining the Commonwealth?

When Boris Johnson flew to Rwanda with Prince Charles for a key Commonwealth summit last weekend, the trip ended up being overshadowed by a bubbling feud between the two men over Britain’s Rwanda asylum scheme, which Charles has privately opposed. For the Commonwealth the focus on the spat was a shame, as it had some welcome news to announce that was arguably far more significant for Britain than the two men’s personal beef. On 25 June it was officially declared that two new countries, Gabon and Togo, were joining the Commonwealth. For those who have been prophesising the death of an antiquated and creaking Commonwealth for years, it was a

Michael Simmons

The mystery of Britain’s surging at-home deaths

Britain may look like it’s back to normal after the lockdowns but one alarming trend that emerged in 2020 is very much still with us: people dying at home, who would once have been seen in hospital. This is called ‘excess’ at-home deaths; a number very energetically reported when deaths related to Covid — but not so closely followed for the thousands unrelated deaths. So what’s going on? This year so far some 13,000 people more than average died at home in England and Wales. In hospitals though it’s 7,200 below average and there have been 3,649 fewer in care homes too. In Scotland there have been over 7,000 excess

Gavin Mortimer

The Tour de France conceals its national turmoil

The 109th edition of the Tour de France is underway although Friday’s first stage, held for the first time in Denmark, was spoiled by heavy rain and numerous crashes. Not that the adverse conditions dampened the spirits of the estimated half a million spectators who gathered in Copenhagen to witness a spot of sporting history. Similar crowds will line the route of cycling’s most famous race when it arrives in France on Tuesday, all hoping to cheer on the first homegrown winner of the Tour since Bernard Hinault was crowned champion in 1985. In an interview in the Guardian in 2009 Hinault was blunt when asked why France was no

The intense Englishness of Philip Larkin

The English language has a curious feature, called the phrasal verb. It consists of a plain verb plus a preposition; to go up, to get over, to find out. They are quite often more vivid than their simple synonyms – to ascend, to recover, to discover. New ones are constantly being thought up; they are also totally irrational – get on with or get off with? Most serious writers spend a lot of time thinking about them. One day, the story goes, the poet Philip Larkin was challenged by his secretary at work. She had discovered a cache of pornography in his office cupboard. ‘But what’s it for?’ she asked.

Julie Burchill

Where have all the Bad Girls gone?

Where have all the Bad Girls gone? They used to rock up regularly at the Love Island villa – now in its eighth and rather underwhelming season – only to find themselves on the EasyJet back to Blighty after having full sex on prime time TV. (One of them, Zara Holland, being stripped of her Miss Great Britain title.) They brawled, boozed and bonked with gusto; now it’s two drinks a night and a cheeky snog on the terrace before an early – and chaste – bedtime. They used to be all over the soaps but now the women of EastEnders and Corrie suffer wall-to-wall ‘challenges’ like bulimia and infertility instead.

The Church of England is obsessed with racial self-flagellation

The Church of England has been displaying distinctly masochistic tendencies of late. The Church has previously tried to return its tainted Benin bronzes, even though their specimens were crafted 80 years after the Kingdom of Benin succumbed to British forces and its palaces were looted in 1897. This week the Archbishops’ Commission for Racial Justice – chaired by the Blair-era Labour minister and subsequently High Commissioner to South Africa Lord (Paul) Boateng – issued its first report; there are five more to come over the next three years, so we can anticipate much more self-abasement. Needless to say, in the report’s opening message Boateng writes of a ‘sense of deep

How Prince Charles’s €1m bagman infiltrated the British establishment

The Queen rarely – if ever – accepts invitations to dinner at private houses, no matter how grand. But in the summer of 2014 the oil and gas rich Gulf state of Qatar became the first ‘official partner’ of Royal Ascot and secured branding rights for the King George VI and Queen Elizabeth II stakes. The Qataris also agreed to pay for the upkeep of the Castle of Mey which is owned by the royal family. And so breaking with tradition the Queen accepted a dinner invitation and joined the ruling family of Qatar and assorted guests. The Qataris had just spent an estimated £75 million on their London mansion at Dudley

How the BBC was captured by trans ideology

During Pride month this year a banner has been emblazoned across the BBC’s internal staff website used by every single employee. It features the following text: ‘BBC Pride 2022: Bringing together LGBTQ+ people of all genders, sexualities and identities at the BBC.’ Most people who work at the BBC aren’t concerned about this. But the slogan really should ring alarm bells, because behind its seemingly benign message of inclusivity is a latent political message about trans rights that is undermining the corporation’s impartiality. As a BBC employee I am proud and delighted that the corporation is striving to be a welcoming employer for people from all walks of life, whatever

James Kirkup

Pity the doctors fighting for their £1 million pensions

As inflation rips into living standards, everyone is feeling the pinch and many are looking for help. Some people are asking for more from the state. That really means help from their fellow taxpayers, because sooner or later, that’s where public money comes from. We all have our own views about which groups merit that help: working-age parents in the lowest income bracket are at the top of my list. Readers will doubtless have their own thoughts on which marginalised and disadvantaged people are most deserving. Amid the tumultuous national conversation about the cost of living, there’s always a danger that some unfortunate souls might be overlooked. So, I’d like

The rise and fall of R Kelly

It’s been an eventful week for celebrity justice, especially of the entirely predictable kind. First, Ghislaine Maxwell was sentenced to 20 years for recruiting and trafficking young girls. Now, the musician and paedophile R. Kelly has received a 30-year prison sentence for sexually abusing girls, boys and women. He was convicted of the offence last September so a lengthy prison sentence has been inevitable ever since. Still, 30 years is a long, long time. Should Robert Sylvester Kelly make it to the end of his incarceration — and the odds against a high-profile convicted sex offender surviving unmolested are not high — then he will be 85 upon his release.

My sister Ghislaine was denied justice

There is a cartoon doing the rounds this week that shows two women having a drink. One says to the other ‘My dream is to travel back in time’. Her friend replies ‘Just book a ticket to the USA’. No doubt the cartoonist had in mind the topical issues of the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe vs Wade and its striking down New York’s law requiring ‘proper cause’ to carry guns in public. But it could equally apply to a federal court’s decision this week to impose a 20-year sentence of imprisonment on a 60-year-old woman, my sister Ghislaine. This cruel sentence arises from her conviction at trial six months ago and

Horse racing’s dark secret

Royal Ascot has come and gone: 300,000 racegoers, men in top hats and tails, women in chic outfits and beautiful, or bizarre, millinery, gathered for the highlight of the racing calendar. But beneath the pageantry, all is not well in the world of horse racing. The sport’s leadership is in disarray. Day-to-day racecourse attendance is plummeting; gambling restrictions are looming; animal rights activists are piling on pressure; funding and prize-money are woeful; some of the best horses are being sold overseas; and the sport is at an increasing competitive disadvantage compared to Australia, the Gulf, Hong Kong and Japan. For one man in particular, Joe Saumarez Smith, three weeks into