Society

Monday

James Kirkup James Kirkup

A ‘transphobic’ crime wave has hit Oxford

Oxford is suffering a crime wave. Police are investigating numerous serious offences over more than six months. Thames Valley Police has issued this sweeping statement about unacceptable acts in the city: “Thames Valley Police is appealing for witnesses following a number of public offences in Oxford. Officers are investigating a large number of offensive stickers that have been placed across Oxford city centre containing transphobic comments. It is believed they started appearing in March 2019 within the High Street, Catte Street and Parks Road area. Investigating officer PC Rebecca Nightingale based at St Aldates police station said: “Behaviour like this is not acceptable and we take incidents of this nature

Sunday

Lionel Shriver Lionel Shriver

Asians are doing too well – they must be stopped

Riddle: when is discrimination against a historically disadvantaged racial minority perfectly legal? Answer: when they do too well. The first ruling on the Students for Fair Admissions suit against Harvard University is in. A federal judge in Massachusetts concluded last week that for America’s be-all-and-end-all university to discriminate against Asian applicants in order to serve the all-hallowed goal of ‘diversity’ is constitutional. (Or strictly speaking, if you can follow this logic, the university did not discriminate against Asians by discriminating against them.) The reasoning: ‘Race conscious admissions will always penalise to some extent the groups that are not being advantaged by the process.’ The decision has already been appealed, and

James McSweeney

Are we heading for a climate apocalypse? Not again

I was five years old when the world first ended. That was in 2000, the year that a United Nations official predicted 11 years before that entire nations would be wiped out by rising sea levels. Since then, I have survived the Arctic melting on at least six separate occasions (2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2018), to say nothing of the geopolitical chaos that followed the oil shortages of 2015. As of last year, my troubles have been worsened by the complete submersion of the Maldives, which has narrowed my holiday options. This week, as I ventured into London to shop for a woolly jumper and flippers ahead of

Lucy Vickery

Spectator competition winners: poems about the yellowhammer

For the latest competition you were invited to submit a poem about yellowhammers. This sparrow-sized songbird has inspired poetry from John Clare’s lovely ‘The Yellowhammer’s Nest’ to Robert Burns’s unlovely ‘The Yellow, Yellow Yorlin’ (‘But I took her by the waist, an’ laid her down in haste/, For a’ her squakin’ an’ squalin…’ and you took up this challenge with gusto. Strong performers, in a top-notch and wide-ranging entry, included Bill Greenwell and David Shields. The winners, below, earn £25 each. W.J. Webster A certain subtle, govian fellow, When asked what code name he preferred, Chose ‘hammer’ as a striking word Then made his point by adding ‘yellow’. For, emberiza

Saturday

Matthew Parris Matthew Parris

All ages are gullible – including our own

In the great days of the Daily Telegraph’s Peter Simple column, when I was a youth, that acid but hilarious satire on contemporary Britain had a cast of imaginary characters of whom one of my favourites was the Very Reverend Dr Spacely-Trellis, the ‘go-ahead Bishop of Bevindon’. Spacely-Trellis was a ‘modern’ Anglican of the sort disposed to question the Virgin Birth, the divinity of Christ, and quite possibly the existence of a deity. Most of those interludes featuring the left-of-centre bishop ended with him in the pulpit and in full cry about the evils of the hour, concluding ‘We are all guilty!’ as his despairing flock dived for the nearest

Thursday

The Spectator

Letters: Remainers lost – and Richard Dawkins needs to accept that

Deny Remainers oxygen Sir: Your correspondent Richard Dawkins seems to have a very tenuous grasp of logic for an academic (Diary, 5 October). He excoriates a referendum on the grounds that in the run-up the voters may have been misled. There is one choice between two alternatives, and the supporters of each outcome will do their best to persuade. Both may be less than truthful. Yet he adores a general election with five or six candidates hawking their conflicting and unfulfillable manifestos — all of them those pillars of veracity, politicians. Let us be frank. Since the shock result of 2016 we have listened to the whines of the EU fanatics

Peter Jones

Extinction Rebellion proves Aristotle was right about the follies of youth

Extinction Rebellion is blocking the streets again, foolishly demanding the impossible on a very important issue. But what does one expect from the young? As Aristotle pointed out, since they have no experience of life, they always have exalted notions and think themselves equal to great things. As a result, never having been duped before, they readily trust others and are easy meat for adult exploitation. Platonic criminal theory can help them. The ancients generally argued that society was held together by systems of rewards and penalties, and revenge, recompense and deterrence were the main features of their penal thinking. Plato, however, took a different view. He thought of crime

Jeremy Clarke

What had the chambermaid made of my penis vacuum pump?

Fumbling outside my door in dripping swimming trunks for my room key, I was hailed cheerily by the maid from a doorway further along the corridor. I hadn’t met her, but her greeting was not without a touch of familiarity, if not intimacy, I thought. The latter, I guessed, must be predicated on the fact of her coming into my junior suite when I was out and restoring it to a holiday-brochure photograph, then arranging my tawdry collection of toiletries into little islands on the marble counter. What she made of my penis vacuum pump, I couldn’t guess. I rather think that while she could only speculate as to its

Melissa Kite

My bid to boost my carbon footprint

Inspired by Harry and Meghan I decided to get on a plane. I hadn’t been anywhere for so long it was becoming ridiculous, and neither had my other half. No kids, no trips, no new cars… ‘If my carbon footprint gets any lower I’m going to have to eat coal,’ the builder boyfriend said, putting things into perspective. These celebs and royals are never going to stop lecturing us about taking flights we’re not taking. And they are never going to stop taking all the flights themselves. So one is inevitably going to become bitter unless one takes action. And the action I decided to take was a late deal

Robin Oakley

The dark world of Victorian horse racing

Two hours after showing her father, the Marquess of Anglesey, the wedding dress in which she was to marry the country squire Henry Chaplin, Lady Florence Paget took a carriage to Marshall & Snelgrove’s department store. Leaving by a side entrance, she was escorted to St George’s Church in Hanover Square where she married Harry Hastings, the fourth Marquis of Hastings. They were back at his Leicestershire estate of Donington Hall before her family knew a thing. It was the ultimate Victorian scandal: the stunningly beautiful Lady Florence was known as the Pocket Venus, Harry Hastings was a rakehell addicted to the cheap cheers of those for whom he bought

Charles Moore Charles Moore

We selfish gits must wear the name with pride

I walked down Villiers Street to Embankment Tube station. In front of me were two Extinction Rebels, a mother and daughter. Strapped to the little girl’s back was a white teddy bear. Strapped to the bear’s back was the handwritten slogan: ‘You selfish gits. Stop burning down my house.’ I wonder how they knew I was a selfish git, since I wore no emblem to announce the fact. Luckily they did not know I was off to a large party of fellow selfish gits to launch volume III of my biography of Mrs Thatcher. It was taking place in the Banqueting House, Whitehall, yards from XR’s encampment, and was eloquently addressed

The Spectator

Portrait of the week: Brexit approaches, Extinction Rebellion protests and Donald Trump tweets

Home After a telephone conversation between Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister, and Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany, a Downing Street spokesman said she had made clear that a withdrawal agreement with the EU was ‘overwhelmingly unlikely’; Mrs Merkel had insisted on Northern Ireland staying in the Customs Union, which the Democratic Unionist party called ‘beyond crazy’. Donald Tusk, the President of the European Council, tweeted that Mr Johnson was playing a ‘stupid blame game’.There was great excitement over a message sent to James Forsyth of The Spectator, generally thought to have come from Dominic Cummings, the Prime Minister’s chief adviser. ‘We’ll either leave with no deal on 31 October or

The Spectator

A slice of history: how did Britain’s pizza industry begin?

A slice of history Pizza Express is to undergo financial restructuring, leading to fears that it could go under. How did the pizza industry in Britain begin? — The first record of an Italian restaurant was the Italian Eating House off Leicester Square, opened in 1803, though it is not known whether or not it served pizza. — The Olivelli restaurant in Store Street, Bloomsbury, opened in 1934. Early documents found on the premises included a recipe for margherita pizza. — Pizza Express was the first chain of pizza restaurants in Britain, its first branch opening in Wardour Street in 1965. — Pizzaland opened its first branch in 1970. It

Freddy Gray Freddy Gray

Even Donald Trump is tweeting about Spectator USA

We’ve just launched the US edition of The Spectator and the reaction so far has been great. Americans can be quite gloomy these days, but business optimism runs in their blood. They seem enthused about The Spectator’s transatlantic appeal. I met no end of Rod Liddle fans who thrilled at the sight of his name on the first US cover. Various people told me that America was crying out for a magazine with our sense of humour. But not everyone gushed. At our launch party in Washington DC, Anne Applebaum, the historian and journalist, asked how on earth we expected to make ‘the most quintessentially English magazine’ work in the US.

Toby Young Toby Young

You have to laugh at Extinction Rebellion

I ventured out into Westminster earlier this week to take a look at the Extinction Rebellion protest and it reminded me of the Edinburgh Fringe. I don’t just mean the sheer number of people in fancy dress, such as the Red Rebels with their red robes and white face paint, or the men in gas masks. I mean it was like a huge piece of political street theatre written by a brilliant satirist. Wherever you looked there were little comic vignettes. At one point, having become slightly numb listening to one activist after another condemn ‘western consumerism’, I popped into Pret a Manger, only to be confronted by protestors politely queuing

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can I tell a man at yoga class to cover up?

Q. My sister runs a yoga school and a middle-aged gentleman has joined. Although she is delighted to encourage male membership in a very female-dominated session, his male membership tends to make appearances throughout the lesson due to the looseness of the shorts he wears. In her position at the front teaching, my sister is the only one exposed to these displays and there is little hard evidence that this is anything other than a gentleman enjoying the free-flowing nature of the class. However it can put her off. How would you cover this? — W.C., address withheld A. Benign (i.e. incognisant) flashing is a recurrent theme in Dear Mary’s

Luke McShane

no. 575

White to play. The final game of the match between Radjabov and Ding. White’s safer king confers a huge advantage, but Radjabov finished with a flourish. What did he play? Difficulty: easy. Answers to me at The Spectator by Tuesday 15 September or via email to victoria@spectator.co.uk. There is a prize of £20 for the first correct answer out of a hat. Please include a postal address and allow six weeks for prize delivery. Last week’s solution 1 … Ba7 Last week’s winner Jonathan Silver, Edgware, Middlesex

Luke McShane

Plates in the sink

‘Chess is a constant struggle between my desire not to lose and my desire not to think.’ I’m fond of that wry insight, neatly expressed by German grandmaster Jan Gustafsson. For a select few, such as the late, irrepressible Viktor Korchnoi, the desire not to lose burns through life like the Olympic flame. For the rest of us, only youthful naivety makes it easy to summon maximal mental effort. Thereafter, the struggle is perennial, like a pile of dirty plates in the sink; sometimes you can’t bring yourself to care. But letting this notion occur to you too early in life is a career-limiting move for a chess-player.   Upon

Janet de Botton

Bridge | 10 October 2019

After all the excitement of England making the playoffs in all four events at the World Championships in China, only the Seniors reached the final. They played against Denmark and lost but came home silver medallists. Congratulations to David Kenrick and Trevor Ward, John Holland and Alan Mould and David Muller and Malcolm Pryor. Well played, (old) boys! Of course these guys have decades of experience behind them and know the importance of (keeping) control. Holding the highest card in a suit means you can control who wins the next trick and also who is going to be on lead after the suit is played. Here are Kendrick and Ward

Smurf

2429: Homo

7A can be linked to nine unclued lights (three of two words, one of which repeats 7A) – in five cases as a prefix, in four cases as a suffix.   Across 7 Fifth of November and no old penny for the guy (3) 11 Engineer’s ancient letter stored by British Library (6) 13 Directions to compel and ensure obedience (7) 15 Field football team, missing second half (5) 17 Move between vessels to facilitate requirements of port? (6) 18 Prophet found in cabin – a humble dwelling (5) 20 Swinging seventies and no vet available on border river (6) 21 Switch round inside, showing craft (5) 22 Half-dead in