Society

Thursday

Jeremy Clarke

Low life | 8 August 2019

My luck had to run out one of these fine days. Everybody’s does sooner or later. I’ve had a fantastic run — I’ve been lucky all of my life — and shall continue to count myself fortunate. But being suddenly out of luck makes one feel unmasked, which does take a bit of getting used to. Such were the morbid thoughts running through my head as I sat in the eye clinic waiting room, already packed by 8.30, waiting to see Mr Doyle. It was my third visit in two weeks. They’d photographed the interiors of my eyeballs hundreds of times. They’d blown little puffs of air at them. They’d

Melissa Kite

Real life | 8 August 2019

The travellers were blamed for fly-tipping when all that was left on the common after they went back up north were some neat piles of mulched bark and branches. Of course, they should not have left anything, ideally. But I’m not convinced they didn’t cut back the overgrowth to get their caravans parked, improving a meadow which was hideously unkempt after years of neglect by the local authorities. All travellers are not the same, any more than all ‘insert racial group’ are all the same. You wouldn’t get away with labelling any other community as all bad, therefore when travelling people behave well it should be celebrated. Instead, the authorities

Susanna Gross

Bridge | 8 August 2019

‘Table presence’ is a funny old expression. It sounds as though it refers to a player’s magnetic appeal or domineering personality. But no, it’s more like an extraordinary presence of mind. And it’s about the highest compliment you can pay someone. The Official Encyclopaedia of Bridge has made a valiant attempt to define the term, stating it denotes: ‘instinct’, ‘the drawing of correct inferences from any departure of rhythm by the opponents’, ‘the ability to coax maximum performance from partner’, a ‘poised demeanour that does not give clues’, ‘discipline in the bidding’ and ‘the ability to make the opponents feel they are facing a player of a higher order’. Bring

Tanya Gold Tanya Gold

Lunchtime on Hydra

The Pirate Bar is an oddity, even for this column: a bar and restaurant themed in homage to a pirate, whom I consider to be generic, and Leonard Cohen. It is in Hydra, a three-hour boat ride from Piraeus, and Cohen’s home in the 1960s with his muse — this means unpaid female servant who also provides sex — Marianne Ihlen. He bought a house on the hill with an inheritance from his grandmother. Thus are famous hippies made — with inherited money. Hydra is known as Leonard Cohen Island. The locals don’t mind living on Leonard Cohen Island. ‘Cohen?’ asked a native, as I loitered on the steps of

Dot Wordsworth

Gloomster

When Boris Johnson hit out at ‘the doomsters and the gloomsters’, I was willing to believe that the word gloomster existed. Well, it does now. English abounds in elements like the suffix ster by which new words may be generated. We know without thinking about it that words ending in ster are slightly derogatory. A rhymer is romantic, and a rhymester vulgar. Originally all sters were feminine. Before the Conquest, a seamestre was a sempstress and a bæcestre a baker. Among the Anglo-Saxons, it seems those trades were followed only by women. Of medieval coinages for trade-pursuits, only spinster survives as solely feminine in application, although its meaning has changed

Toby Young Toby Young

America’s shootings aren’t Trump’s fault

The BBC’s flagship news and current affairs programme wasn’t in any doubt about who to blame for America’s latest bout of mass shootings. Newsnight’s report began with footage of Donald Trump addressing the faithful at a rally. ‘This is an invasion,’ he warned, referring to the refugees massing on the Mexican border. ‘When you see these caravans starting out with 20,000 people, that’s an invasion.’ It then cut to Emily Maitlis in the studio. ‘That was in May,’ she said. ‘Today, Donald Trump called on Americans to condemn racism, bigotry and white supremacy.’ She added that the President had made these remarks ‘with a straight face’ and ‘with autocue precision’

The Spectator

Portrait of the Week – 8 August 2019

Home If the government lost a confidence motion when parliament sits again in September, it could call an election for after 31 October, by which time Britain would have left the European Union, according to a briefing attributed to Dominic Cummings, the special adviser to Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister. Opposition MPs plotted to prevent this. Diplomats from the other 27 EU member states were told by EU officials that the United Kingdom wanted to avoid a no-deal Brexit by their agreeing to substantial changes to the draft withdrawal agreement; the officials told them that there was no basis for ‘meaningful discussions’ with Britain. Michael Gove said he was ‘deeply

Charles Moore Charles Moore

The Spectator’s Notes | 8 August 2019

Who wrote ‘Our lifestyle is destroying the environment of our country … creating a massive burden for future generations. Corporations are heading the destruction of our environment by shamelessly over-harvesting resources … the next logical step is to decrease the number of people in America using resources. If we can get rid of enough people, then our way of life can become more sustainable’? The answer, if media reports are accurate, is Patrick Crusius, the man accused of the El Paso massacre. The words appeared in his testament, entitled (in homage to Al Gore?) The Inconvenient Truth, which he seems to have put online before decreasing the number of people

Mary Killen

Your problems solved | 8 August 2019

Q. A friend constantly walks around with his bootlaces undone. His wife declines to nag him on the grounds she doesn’t want to be in a ‘co-dependent relationship’. We all enjoy this man’s company but we cannot work out whether his habit is attention-seeking (for example he often has to kick his legs out at right angles when walking while carrying a lot of equipment) or just a manifestation of his natural slobbishness. Either way it will not make for a restful atmosphere in a forthcoming week-long fishing party. What do you suggest? — S.H., Church Stretton, Salop A. Get hold of the boots while the irritator is in bed

The Spectator

Barometer | 8 August 2019

Dams, lives and statistics The town of Whaley Bridge, Derbyshire, was evacuated after heavy rainfall caused the partial collapse of a reservoir slipway. No one has been killed in a dam collapse in Britain since 1925, but the worst incidents up to that date were: — Dale Dyke, Sheffield, 1864. Puddle clay core of dam fractured while the reservoir behind it was being filled for the first time. 244 were killed. —Biberry Dam, Holmfirth, W. Yorkshire, 1852. Dam had settled since construction 17 years earlier. Water overtopped the dam during a storm, causing collapse. 81 died. — Whinhill Dam, Greenock, 1835. Embankment had been undermined by burrowing rats and moles. 31

Smurf

2420: Crafty

Four unclued lights are thematic and are defined by two others. They are found in The 21 and 2 (also the singular of a fifth unclued light). Another unclued light is partly thematic, yet another was a high officer, whilst a final pair show status. One clued light is an abbreviation.   Across 11    Thankless daughter that’s broken up loves and leaves for season (7) 12    Biblical character with pain in both hands (6) 13    Carpet has nap woven round edge, all in scarlet (9) 14    Fantasy – in short, ecstasy (5) 16    Despots – Middle Eastern – contract lung infection (5) 19    Type of movie with lots of drawings? (7)

Kevin Dent QC

It’s time we cracked down on people carrying knives

An 18-year-old girl stabbed in the back in the West Midlands; three people stabbed at a party in Borough; a teenage boy left fighting for his life in New Cross; a police officer attacked with a machete in Leyton – and that is just in the past week alone. Over the past five years offences involving knives have soared by 74 per cent, from 25,600 in 2013/14 to 44,500 in 2018. Knife offences last year included 252 homicides and 368 attempted murders. Knives were used in more than 400 rapes in the year and 150 other sexual assaults. Those of us who prosecute and defend in cases of serious violence are

The Spectator

to 2417: Six nations

The unclued lights are LAND OF (25A): MILK AND HONEY (11A), CAKES (12A), HOPE AND GLORY (39A), ENCHANTMENT (7D), MY FATHERS (9D) and BEULAH (29D).   First prize Adam Hughes, Liverpool Runners-up Richard Stone, Barton under Needwood, Staffordshire; J.P. Green, Uppingham, Rutland

Ross Clark Ross Clark

Is the Treasury secretly trying to scrap cash?

It is three months since the former chancellor Philip Hammond backtracked and announced that the government would not, after all, abolish pennies and two pences. But then comes the news that the Royal Mint has produced no new one pence and two pence coins for the past 12 months. So much for official policy – it seems that behind the scenes, Treasury officials are quietly getting on with the business of enacting the abolition of cash regardless. True, there is a case for saying that the real value of a penny has been so eroded by inflation that it no longer serves any useful purpose – a penny in 1971,

Ross Clark Ross Clark

The towns making waves

The real secret behind Margate’s revival isn’t so much the restored Dreamland amusement park, but the trains. A decade ago, it gained high-speed, InterCity-like trains to St Pancras, putting it within 90 minutes of London. Before the trains get to Margate they stop in Whitstable, which I remember as a bit of a hole in the 1970s. I went back recently and couldn’t believe how horrible the beach is — black sludge, sharp stones and shells. But then I got to the quayside and it was all posh seafood restaurants. Accessibility as much as native charm has made Whitstable one of the most remarkable turnaround stories of any seaside town

Max Pemberton

Bill of health

It would be daft for someone to offer you £1.8 billion and you turn it down. That sort of money isn’t to be sniffed at. This is how much Boris Johnson announced he would give to the NHS as an extra funding boost. And I don’t want to seem churlish or ungrateful — after all, those of us who work in the health service are always banging on about how NHS resources are near breaking point. But I have some reservations. The first is the most basic — I’m not sure this is quite the cash windfall it’s made out to be. While Boris has assured us that ‘this is

Roger Alton Roger Alton

Stop booing Steve Smith – he’s a hero

During the World Cup (remember that?), Virat Kohli, the very model of a modern major cricketer, appealed to Indian fans not to boo the returned Australian players. It would be nice to think that Joe Root might call for something similar over the next few days from the increasingly egregious English supporters. Current boo-boy tactics haven’t worked particularly well so far. Part of the problem has been the sanctification of Edgbaston as if it was the cricketing equivalent of Notre Dame. Now the sight of a lot of pissed-up Brummies dressed as parrots and chanting ‘Championes, championes…’ seems to be England’s contribution to the summer game. Besides anything else, the

The Spectator

Spectator writers on the UK’s best beaches

Tom Holland Trevone, Cornwall   Pretty much every summer, my family and my cousins head for a farm in north Cornwall, strategically situated for visits to our favourite beach: Trevone. A beautiful cove with breakers, cliffs and an unobtrusive shop, its chief appeal is the opportunity it provides for building colossal sandcastles. Each year, our ambitions grow ever more Babylonian. This summer we excelled ourselves. It was my nephew’s 21st birthday, and to mark his coming of age he wanted to build a sandcastle on a truly lunatic scale. His dream was fulfilled. Armed with industrial shovels and a wheelbarrow, we constructed a vast array of fortifications: a towering central

Victoria Lane

Savannah

Savannah GA is supposed to have lots of ghosts, but I’d forgotten that. It was an April morning and sunlight filtered through the Spanish moss. As I arrived at Wright Square, someone fell into step with me and we crossed the road together. At the other side I glanced to see who it was. No one. Huh. This is the Ghost Coast and there is an industry around it, including night-time tours in a black trolley bus that end in a visit to Savannah’s most haunted residence, the gothic Sorrel-Weed House. At dusk you pass groups of people being told unsettling stories — I caught a snippet about a cat that