Society

Thursday

17 May 2018

Diary – 17 May 2018

The family ranch, which my father acquired when I was about six years of age, lay along the banks of the Kafue river in northern Rhodesia. Immediately above the river it was swampland. Then it rose up into ranching country where there were good, thick strands of what was then known as Rhodesian grass — a sweet, sweet grass, very nutritious to cattle and to any feeding stock. My father built a lovely old Rhodesian-style house with a thatched roof, adobe walls, and whitewashed verandas. I would come home from boarding school in July and August, which was winter and the best time to be in the African bush: not

Toby Young

Stop boiling over about gammon

I was disappointed by the reaction of my fellow conservatives to gammon-gate. For those who haven’t been following this mini-scandal, it concerns the use of the word ‘gammons’ by those on the Corbyn-ite left to describe middle-aged, red-faced, pro-Brexit white men who vote Tory. According to the snowflakes of the right, this is a deeply offensive epithet that manages to be both racist and ageist. ‘This is a term based on skin colour and age — stereotyping by colour or age is wrong no matter what race, age or community,’ tweeted the DUP MP Emma Little-Pengelly. Hard to disagree with that — and she could have thrown in snobbery for

Tanya Gold

Above – and beyond

Hide is a £20 million restaurant at the Green Park end of Piccadilly, on the three lower floors of a brutalist box by Clarges Street. From outside it looks like an illustration from a storybook: people eating while illuminated in glass boxes. It is a restaurant to be looked at from outside, a restaurant with no skin. Hide is the fourth restaurant from Ollie Dabbous, who is the most talented British chef of his generation, even if you think that dowsing food in flowers is very irritating. Dabbous, which opened in 2012, offered fairy food near Tottenham Court Road, which needs it badly: strange decapitated eggs, a carpet of flowers,

Dot Wordsworth

Bonkers

John Kelly, the White House Chief of Staff, has a way with words. During the invasion of Iraq in 2003 he was asked if the Marine Corps forces he led might be defeated by the strong Iraqi army defending Baghdad. ‘Hell these are Marines,’ he said. ‘Men like them held Guadalcanal and took Iwo Jima. Baghdad ain’t shit.’ Now he must cope with Donald Trump. At the end of last month it was reported, from an anonymous source, that he had remarked that the President was ‘becoming unhinged’. Before midnight that day, Mr Trump tweeted that ‘the Fake News is going crazy’ and ‘are totally unhinged’. Eleven minutes later, another

Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 17 May 2018

Q. I have incurable, inoperable back pain that severely hinders my ability to sit and necessitates my taking a cushion wherever I go. Many, I believe, view this as a sartorial eccentricity. I have two issues: how can I politely — or even humorously — deter people I meet from probing my medical history and offering their own treatment advice (‘Have you tried Pilates?’ ‘You must meet my cranial osteopath!’)? Conversely, a close friend recently dismissed my condition as akin to his bone-idle, sponging girlfriend’s ‘leg problem’ (‘It’s ethereal and comes and goes’). I don’t wish to be a figure of pity, but nor do I want to be seen

Jeremy Clarke

Low life | 17 May 2018

An 87-year-old friend, a former doctor, has been urging me for some while to have a look at the latest smart drug fad among affluent Americans, which is to go to work every day on a tiny dose of LSD. He’s an avid reader of the Scientific American and I think he must have read about it in there. He hoved into view at the Spectator Life party the other week and I turned aside from my conversation with the Hungarian ambassador to ask him whether he had managed to get hold of any yet. ‘I bought a ton of it,’ he said. (He is an enthusiast and always buys

Melissa Kite

Real life | 17 May 2018

Laminitis is a lot like alcoholism. Once you cross the line you can’t go back. ‘My name’s Gracie and I’m a grassoholic,’ is what the skewbald pony should be saying at least three times a week to other grassoholics like herself. She hit rock bottom a few months ago at the start of the spring and has been in recovery ever since. But I’m not hopeful this latest period of abstemiousness will last unless she makes a sincere decision to change. In truth, she has been bumping along the bottom for years, bingeing and then swearing off. Every spring I think it will be different. I put a tape across

Susanna Gross

Bridge | 17 May 2018

I’ve always suspected that pessimists make better card players than optimists — and I recently came across the proof. A study by a group of psychologists from Central Michigan University has found that the ‘glass-half-empty’ brigade really do perform better at the gaming table; they tend to remember their losses rather than their winnings, making them less impulsive and more cautious. It’s obvious why expecting the worst gives you a huge advantage at bridge: you take time to prepare for all eventualities. Cheery types, who trust all will be well, often play far too quickly — like half the room at a recent club duplicate did here: West

The Spectator

Portrait of the week | 17 May 2018

Home Wages rose quicker than inflation in the first quarter of 2018, at an annual rate of 2.9 per cent, against 2.7 per cent rate for inflation. Unemployment fell to 1.42 million — at 4.2 per cent the lowest level since 1975. BT said it would cut 13,000 jobs over three years, about 12 per cent of its workforce, to save £1.5 billion. Network Rail surveyed 10 million trees by drone to see how many it might cut down. Plans were approved for a Silvertown road tunnel linking the Royal Docks north of the Thames with the Greenwich peninsula south of the river. Meghan Markle’s father, a bankrupt living in

Charles Moore

The Spectator’s Notes | 17 May 2018

The last time we had a royal wedding of comparable dynastic importance (i.e. only a bit important), Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson, in 1986. The Spectator of those times, which I was editing, carried almost nothing about it. The only piece was a television review by Alexander Chancellor, complaining that ‘The royal family are at the moment completely out of control.’ He found this very upsetting. He was ‘absolutely in favour of the royal family. I have always liked the way they keep their heads down, avoid controversy, shun jokes, and conceal whatever personalities they may have.’ So he was shocked that the Princess of Wales (Diana) dressed up as

Doc

2359: Down

The unclued lights (two of two words) can be all be preceded by the same word which solvers have to highlight appropriately in the completed grid. All are confirmed in Brewer apart from one, which is not listed in Chambers either (surprisingly). Across 1 Spanish mansion with some basic fruit (7) 6 What IoW tourists may do, it’s said, to manatees (7, two words) 11 Sheath’s brownish-yellow area (6) 12 Protective garments we put on, releasing right arms (7) 14 Some jubilee arranged for Glaswegian porkpie merchant (5) 17 More than one giant bird — bit like a goose (6) 19 Large band putting odd Scottish item of furniture

Taki

The other side of D-Day

Omaha Beach, Normandy I am standing in a German cement bunker having walked through a large gaping hole caused by an incoming shell that must have instantly killed the handful of defenders. The bunker is on the beach, about 50 yards from the sea at high tide, and an afternoon mist is rolling in from the north. The scene is eerie and chilling, and 74 years on my heart goes out to those defenders. There are ghosts all around us. I try to put myself in the place of the very young, or old, Wehrmacht soldiers inside the bunker as they face the 6,700 or so ships that loom suddenly

Remi Adekoya

Why are lefty academics talking about Meghan Markle’s skin colour?

A professor of black studies, Kehinde Andrews, has claimed the monarchy will do all it can to ensure Meghan Markle ‘passes for white’ when she marries Prince Harry. According to Andrews, ‘the only way she can be a princess is to downplay her blackness.’ In the same discussion, one of his students agreed: ‘She can’t embody her blackness once she is part of that family’. ‘You ain’t gonna see Meghan at carnival’, she added. Well, they’re both wrong. As a black person, I find such arguments disturbing. Connecting skin colour to behaviour seems to be the very essence of the racial stereotyping that the left is supposed to fight against. It

Michael Heath

The Battle for Britain – 17 May 2018

The Spectator

to 2356: Beetle

The unclued lights are compositions by Vaughan Williams; 17, 19/8, 21/23, 27/11, 36/4, 43/28 with the title of the puzzle suggesting a VW Beetle. First prize Brian Grayson, London E11 Runners-up Trevor Evans, Drulingen, France; John Pugh, Ely, Cardiff

William Cook

The dilemma of Germany’s Turkish footballers

What’s the German for ‘The best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley’? Mezut Özil (Arsenal) and İlkay Gündoğan (Manchester City) are two of the finest footballers in England’s Premier League. They’re both of Turkish descent, so when Turkey’s president Erdoğan came to London on a state visit, a friendly meeting and a photo opportunity must have seemed like a good idea. However Özil and Gündoğan were both born in Germany, and both play for the German national team. The Deutscher Fussball Bund (and some German politicians and journalists) weren’t best pleased. Özil gave Erdoğan a football shirt, which was bad enough, but Gündoğan went one stage further. On

Robin Oakley

In praise of fixed-odds betting terminals

Racing is an expensive sport to stage. Courses and grandstands have to be maintained, health and safety regulations have to be observed. Human and horse ambulances have to be provided, turnstiles have to be manned and, to maintain the ‘integrity’ of a much gambled-on sport, stables have to be guarded, and photo-finish and race-patrol cameras have to be provided. Recognising this, as they sought to clean up gambling laws in the 1960s, our politicians introduced a rare example of ring-fenced taxation: they sanctioned a levy system on bookmakers to make them responsible for producing a significant contribution to racing’s costs. By 1978 the Gambling Commission was complaining that racing had

Robin Oakley

How do you solve a problem like FOBTs?

This is an extract from Robin Oakley’s racing column of 3 March, 2018. You can tell by the tone of the jokes how most occupations are regarded and we’ve all heard the traditional ones about the old enemy. ‘Why don’t sharks attack bookies?’ ‘Professional courtesy’. ‘Why did God invent bookmakers?’ ‘To make used-car salesmen look good.’ ‘Why are bookmakers buried an extra six feet down?’ ‘Because deep down they are very nice people.’ OK, such stories are applied to lawyers too. And journalists. But as a Racing Post headline confirmed last week, bookmakers are under heavy pressure. William Hill has been fined £6.2 million for breaching regulations on social responsibility and on

Charles Moore

Prince Harry and Meghan should restrain their personalities

Roger Alton

Lord’s next week is the place to be

Good for Ed Smith. The new national selector can’t just rock a fine pair of sunglasses, he can make bold decisions. Though quite how bold it was to pick Jos Buttler, arguably England’s most gifted cricketer, is a matter of opinion. It would have been remarkable if one of the world’s best players, and a phenomenal striker of a cricket ball, had been left on the sidelines for the Pakistan Tests. Smith has brought an adventurous spirit to this England team, after years of excessive caution. Buttler has illuminated the Indian Premier League for the Rajasthan Royals, who will be scowling into their Cobra beers after losing their best player.