Q. How can I stop a member of the household from glutting out on the chocolate supply I have stockpiled? A glance into the larder would suggest we are more than adequately catered for in the event of a lockdown, but we are an unusually large family (which includes in-laws and staff) and while most
Q. I am arranging the seating plan for my daughter’s wedding and have a problem with one of her guests who is notorious for swapping her place to insert herself between ‘better’ people and thus disrupting the whole scheme. There will be 20 tables of eight at the dinner and I will be too busy
Q. I adore doing jigsaws and these days there’s an added bonus — by posting my progress on Instagram I can share the happy glow it gives me knowing that I’m reducing toxic screen-time habits. Recently I begged to borrow a magnificent 1,000-piece puzzle from a friend — a vast winter scene by Pieter Bruegel.
Q. I see a lot of two of our grandchildren because they live in our London house. We are centrally located so we see a lot of their friends, too. Our grand-children are well-mannered but conversation is always stalling because of their refusal to allow me to use shorthand to identify the friend being discussed
Q. I am having a drinks party to celebrate the publication of my latest book. I sent out invitations (to mainly long-standing friends) by email. The invitation PDF clearly signals an informal party. Half of the respondents asked their secretaries to send formal replies, which is fair enough, although self-important. But a few secretaries sent
Q. I have hired a private room in a restaurant in order to give dinner to a large number of old friends. One of these, with whom I’ve discussed the elaborate seating plan, asked early on if she could sit next to a certain man whom she’s always admired, but doesn’t know well. I said
Q. An elderly cousin gave my husband and me a wedding present of two weeks in his villa in the Bahamas. We have just returned from the most fabulous holiday of our lives. His delightful housekeeper came in every day and we bonded with her. However, towards the end of our stay she confided that
Q. When my mother-in-law visits, she puts newspaper on a dining chair before sitting down. I’m so speechless that someone could behave in this way that I don’t say anything. What comment could I could make to discourage this? Or, given she only visits three times a year, should I just chalk it up to
Q. My husband and I are committed Brexiteers. For many years we have regularly enjoyed friendly bridge evenings with a couple who are Remainers, but who are in every other respect unexceptionable. On consulting my diary this morning I noticed to my horror that it is our turn to host our next evening on 31
Q. As a young woman I tend not to wear that much to social events in the evening, but I find that in London the best conversations — and the best connections — invariably happen outside the party with the smokers. I don’t even smoke myself, but if anyone invites me to join them outside
From Dame Joan Collins Q. Invariably, when I escape to the ladies’ room or powder room or restroom (whatever the current politically correct term for this place is), I am asked for a ‘selfie’, and the request usually comes while I’m washing my hands or powdering my nose. What is the correct way to handle
Q. My son has a girlfriend who we like but who has appalling table manners. They come to stay most weekends and I really find it painful to sit at a table with her and cannot understand how my son can put up with it. What would you advise, Mary? — Name and address withheld
Q. One of my very best female friends has got into the habit of lecturing me on gender equality, in a manner that sometimes borders on aggressive. Now, I identify as a feminist man, and understand the need for healthy debate. However, her hypocrisy is irksome and hard to overlook (I’m still expected to buy drinks,
Q. A friend, who is very careful with his money, occasionally invites a group of six to eight out to lunch. At one such gathering, as we were reading the menus, he announced that he and his wife would just be having an omelette. A palpable silence ensued while all present tried to work out
Q. A friend of a friend has an apartment in Venice. I would like to commiserate with her about the catastrophic floods when I see her shortly at a Christmas drinks party, but I don’t want to depress her by bringing this up at what’s meant to be a celebratory occasion and forcing her to
Q. I sent a WhatsApp message to a Lib Dem friend of 15 years. ‘How are you finding being a Lib Dem? I must say a £50 billion Remain dividend would be rather nice — perhaps something to put on the side of a bus so I can prosecute your leader when it never happens! Clearly, Boris
Q. Dad takes an old-fashioned approach to marriage: I have never seen him clear his plate and he does not know what’s in the kitchen cupboards. He also enjoys the benefits of a modern wife: my mother has worked (much) harder than him in their business for a long time and takes a lot of
Q. My brilliant brother, who graduated last year, could find nowhere to live in London so we were all delighted when he found work as a live-in assistant to an interesting (and successful) employer who works from home. My brother is super-efficient and lovely to have around and I’ve no doubt that he’s made himself
Q. I’ve been having friends to supper for many decades. Although I say it myself, these gatherings have often been hugely successful, with lots of laughter, people making new friends and guests regularly staying beyond 1 a.m. When Brexit started it was OK because talk of it didn’t dominate the evening. It now does. Last
Q. I sing soprano in a small church choir, ten to 12 singers. The woman I am placed next to sings all of her high notes horribly flat, and I find it challenging to stay in tune myself. I have thought of moving but the choir is so small that such a manoeuvre would be