Queen

Assorted Christmas crackers

There’s a moment in a child’s life where Christmas begins to lose its magic. Once lost it cannot be regained, but as adults we can catch glimpses of that wonder through our own children, through booze, and most of all through songs, films and stories. Christmas is the one time of the year when it’s not only acceptable to cry over such sentimental things, it’s almost compulsory. The wonder ceases at around eight or nine years old. Andrew Szlachetko (who publishes this book, £5.99) addresses this in The Age of Not Believing. The hero, Thomas, on his way to Santa’s grotto, is mocked by some other boys for his belief

When English Catholics were considered as dangerous as jihadis

Martyrdom, these days, does not get a good press. Fifty years ago English Catholics could take a ghoulish pride in the suffering of their 16th-century Tyburn heroes, but in a western world that has learned to be wary of extremist talk of ‘holy war’ or the intoxicating visions of the martyr’s crown that fuelled the prayers of England’s young exile priests — ‘the supreme privilege, of which only divine grace could make them worthy’, as Evelyn Waugh put it — somehow makes for less comfortable reading. It is hard to know whether the modern jihadist has given us an unwelcome insight into the past or disabled us from understanding it,

Cruising

By the end of my ten-day Atlantic crossing to New York, a new wellbeing seemed to radiate from me. Lulled by the motion and murmurings of the rocking sea, I slept like a baby. I was never bored. Queen Mary 2, the Cunard Line’s flagship, has everything from a ballroom, planetarium and library to an art-deco Titanic-style dining hall. Passengers do not want for anything: there’s even a mortuary. The last time I shipped out to New York from Southampton was in 1961, when I was a baby. We stayed in New York for more than a year while my father worked for a Wall Street investment bank. During our

Why emote about migrants during a concert?

How should we deal with people who sneeze in public places? Stephen Jackson, aged 49, has found himself in court as a consequence of taking direct action against those people who are kind enough to share their nasal mucus with the rest of us. Stephen’s answer is usually to slap the offender across the head and say: ‘Don’t sneeze in front of me.’ He will be sentenced in a couple of weeks on four similar charges of assault, the victims all being people who sneezed when he was nearby. There was one other charge, mind, which involved spitting at a baby in its pram. Now, it may well be that

Portrait of the week | 10 September 2015

Home David Cameron, the Prime Minister, told Parliament that he had authorised the killing, on 21 August, by means of an RAF drone, of a British citizen near Raqqa in Syria, Cardiff-born Reyaad Khan, 21, an adherent of the Islamic State. Ruhul Amin, from Aberdeen, also an Islamic State activist, whose killing had not been approved in advance, died in the same attack, along with another Islamic State supporter who was with them. Mr Cameron called the strike a lawful ‘act of self-defence’. Khan was said by government sources to have been plotting an attack during the VJ Day commemorations in London on 15 August, and although that had been

The Queen has proven herself to be a shrewd asset manager

One person who has never shown much interest in corporate correctness is Her Majesty the Queen — but if you had been able to buy shares in 1952 in the royal ‘firm’ of which she has been executive chairman these past 63 and a half years, you would have made out like Warren Buffett. When she succeeded her father, the royal ­finances were not a matter for public discussion: the first estimate of her private wealth, at £60 million, did not appear in the press until 1969. More recently, a consultancy called Brand Finance came up with a figure of £44 billion as the value of the entire monarchical enterprise,

Ed West

In the age of democracy, a monarchy keeps the powerful humble

My six-year-old, when told that there was a princess of England with the same name as her, was astonished to learn that such things existed. ‘In real life, not in princess-land?’ She assumed princesses only lived in some made-up world along with dragons and trolls and daddy’s savings account. One of the arguments made against the monarchy is that it is inherently ridiculous and belongs in a children’s story. But as we mark 64 years under the Elizabethan junta, it is worth noting that it’s the very absurdity of monarchy that makes it egalitarian and anti-authoritarian, in that it keeps powerful people in their place. If we were ever to

Elizabeth the Great

That the Queen has lived to become our longest-reigning monarch — a milestone which she will mark quietly with a lunch next Wednesday — is in itself a sign of the golden age of prosperity which has been the second Elizabethan age. Over the 63 years of her reign, life expectancy for women has increased by a dozen years, to 83. The Queen may be remarkable for her age, but she is far from alone in modern Britain for having lived to a great age in good health. A team of 12 is now needed to send out royal telegrams congratulating those of her subjects to celebrate their 100th birthday.

Portrait of the week | 20 August 2015

Home Andrew Burnham described calls from Yvette Cooper, a rival candidate for the Labour leadership, for him to withdraw from the contest as ‘quite strange’. The problem was how to prevent Jeremy Corbyn, a left-winger, from being elected by the alternative vote system by 610,000 party members and registered supporters. Gordon Brown, the former disastrous Labour prime minister, contributed by making a 50-minute speech in a small room at the Royal Festival Hall, during which he paced up and down continuously for an estimated 1 mile 1 furlong 5 chains and did not mention Mr Corbyn’s name. Kezia Dugdale, a Member of the Scottish Parliament, was elected leader of the

Blowing hot and cold | 11 June 2015

The opera director David Alden has never been one to tread the straight and narrow. Something kinky would emerge, I’m sure, even if he directed the Queen’s televised Christmas message. So matching him up at English National Opera with the madness, obsessions and phantasmagoria of Tchaikovsky’s whirring and troubling The Queen of Spades was simply asking for trouble. The Alden fingerprints quickly emerge. We’re in several periods at the same time: Pushkin’s Imperial Russia, yes, but also Stalin’s ossified Soviet Union, plus splashes of the frivolous 1920s and 60s and a snatch of the 18th century. Fashions and hemlines keep darting around: Red Army uniforms, thigh-crawling cocktail numbers, hookers’ sleaze,

Boring Boorman

Queen & County is John Boorman’s follow-up to his 1987 semi-autobiographical film Hope & Glory, although why a sequel now, after 28 years, I don’t know. (We’re not in regular contact.) I can only tell you that if you absolutely loved the first film, as I did — and still do — the news I’m about to deliver is not great, but there’s no avoiding it, so here you are: this is tonally confused, emotionally unengaging, doesn’t seem relevant in any way, and as for Bill, who was once so bright and charming and promising, he’s nothing special any more. I don’t know what I expected him to turn out

Report by BBC journalist that the Queen is in hospital just a ‘silly prank’

Given that the Queen looked in such good health last week during her speech, Mr S was surprised to hear ‘breaking’ news that she was being treated in hospital this morning. The BBC journalist Ahmen Khawaja took to Twitter to tell her followers exactly that. However, Buckingham Palace has since confirmed that the Queen was in hospital, but just for her ‘annual medical check-up’. Khawaja has now deleted her tweets: Yet now – after several users criticised her – she has changed her story and claimed her phone was used by someone else as a prank: All very curious indeed. Mr S is just pleased to hear the Queen is ok, despite the BBC’s best efforts. Update:

Queen’s Speech Tory slogan bingo

Anyone would think that those drafting the Queen’s Speech might have had a bet on to see how many Tory soundbites they could shoehorn in. Apparently the Queen’s government will ‘adopt a one nation approach’, with a nod to ‘supporting aspiration’. Of course, her ‘government will continue with its long-term plan’. It could have been a Cameron election stump speech. The biggest grin of the day came from George Osborne when Her Majesty uttered his favourite slogan: the ‘northern powerhouse’. But it wasn’t the silly sound bites that are getting the most attention. Despite all the policies and the coming austerity, all anyone seems to be talking about is psychoactive

High life | 7 May 2015

If any of you sees Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair, walking around with a begging bowl in his hand, it’s because he took me to dinner recently. I sort of went a bit nuts with the wine and the VF chief ended up with the bill. We went to a new Bagel restaurant, Chevalier, a futuristic marvel with great food and wine and even grander prices. New York is no longer elegant, and there are no longer society types dressed to the nines sitting on the banquettes and downing Manhattans. The Jewish ascendancy that downed the Wasps was as elegant as the one it replaced. William Paley, John

Full of sound and fury

John Knox, Cranmer complained, was ‘one of those unquiet spirits, which can like nothing but that is after their own fancy, and cease not to make trouble and disquietness’. Yet this awkward cuss, son of a merchant in Haddington and initially a young Roman Catholic priest, became a pillar of the Reformation in Europe and the inspiration for Presbyterianism in Scotland. The recent Scottish political television debates remind us also that his strident tone is still fashionable in Scotland. The black and white judgments proclaimed rather than discussed, and the winning of arguments by out-shouting opponents, are exactly in the style of Knox. He knew precisely what reforms were needed

Joan Collins celebrates her damehood with an old frenemy

With the Queen’s birthday honours fast approaching, future awardees can take inspiration from Joan Collins on the suitable number of events required to celebrate one’s damehood. Writing in this week’s issue of The Spectator, Collins reveals that she attended not one but seven events in total. However, things got off to a questionable start when her husband Percy forgot his photo ID, which was required to get past palace security for her investiture ceremony: ‘We averted a potential disaster when, at the gates, Percy confessed to having left his photo ID behind. ‘Will you vouch for this gentleman?’ the helmeted bobby inquired. ‘Well, I’m not sure if I’d go that far, but he is

Brian May questions Russell Brand’s revolution

Tonight Russell Brand took part in a live Q&A to celebrate the launch of his new documentary The Emperor’s New Clothes. The film looks into the effects of capitalism and it has been widely noted that its release is timed conveniently close to the election. During the Q&A Brand was surprised and initially very pleased to find that Brian May from Queen was in the audience. May, who began by professing his love for the comedian, even had a question for the revolutionary: BM: I have a campaign called Common Decency which is about trying to change the system radically from within. I’m proposing that we form a strategy on May 7th

The Queen is right to focus on the pain caused by the Scottish referendum

Division and reconciliation were the themes of the Queen’s Christmas Message  this year (full text below). She started mentioning the Josefina de Vasconcellos‘s 1977 statue Reconciliation, which is now in Coventry Cathedral. She then went on to other examples of conflict and reunion from the First World War to Northern Ireland. And then the unfinished business of the Scottish independence referendum… “In Scotland after the referendum many felt great disappointment while others felt great relief, and bridging these differences will take time.” She’s right. All too many unionists in London think of the Scottish debate as being over, a closed book. This is certainly the view of the Cameroon high command.  But the pain caused by the referendum debate is

Queen refuses to play Game of Thrones

The Queen has visited the set of Game of Thrones in Northern Ireland. Frankly, she did not look that enamoured with the Iron Throne. Much to the disappointment of the gathered media, she did not sit down. In fact, she seemed indifferent to the hype…

‘Basta’ must be the Queen’s English — a Queen used it

My chickens do not usually come home to roost so rapidly. Only a fortnight ago I wrote that ‘some people use basta in English, but to my ears it sounds like saying ciao — inauthentic’. Then I went back to reading Jane Ridley’s Bertie, the life of Edward VII (and how much I enjoyed it too). What should I find on page 357? I found Queen Alexandra writing about what she would wear at the coronation in 1901. ‘I know better than all the milliners and antiquaries,’ she wrote. ‘I shall wear exactly what I like, and so shall all my ladies — Basta!’ I can hardly accuse a queen of England of speaking