Dredge | The Spectator columnists & writers

‘And finally, it’ll be up to your individual judgment whether you wear a mask or not.’

Individual judgement

‘And finally, it’ll be up to your individual judgment whether you wear a mask or not.’

Individual judgement

Rodin’s Plonker

Rodin’s Plonker

‘What did you do in the office, Grandpa?’

What did you do in the office, Grandpa?

‘What did you do in the office, Grandpa?’

What did you do in the office, Grandpa?

‘And where do you see yourself in five years’ time?’

Where do you see yourself?

‘And where do you see yourself in five years’ time?’

Where do you see yourself?

‘You have to take the knee to read it, apparently.’

Take the knee

‘You have to take the knee to read it, apparently.’

Take the knee

‘You wait ages for an MP to be thrown under a bus…’

You wait ages

‘You wait ages for an MP to be thrown under a bus…’

You wait ages

‘Face masks! Inhalers! Testing kits!’

Beach seller

‘Face masks! Inhalers! Testing kits!’

Beach seller

‘I can remember when this was all Tier Four.’

Tier four

‘I can remember when this was all Tier Four.’

Tier four

Football money

Football money

‘Oh look — it’s the head.’

Oh look — it’s the head

‘Oh look — it’s the head.’

Oh look — it’s the head

‘I’ve heard a whisper that “Lockdown Return” is worth a punt.’

Lockdown Return

‘I’ve heard a whisper that “Lockdown Return” is worth a punt.’

Lockdown Return

‘We met on the internet.’

We met on the internet

‘We met on the internet.’

We met on the internet

‘Beware the South African variant, lads. It’s home schooling for you from now on.’

Beware the South African variant

‘Beware the South African variant, lads. It’s home schooling for you from now on.’

Beware the South African variant

Q and A

Q and A

‘I told you this journey wasn’t absolutely necessary.’

Necessary journey

‘I told you this journey wasn’t absolutely necessary.’

Necessary journey

‘Don’t catch it!’

‘Don’t catch it!’

‘Don’t catch it!’

‘Don’t catch it!’

‘I remember when this was all Europe.’

I remember when this was all Europe

‘I remember when this was all Europe.’

I remember when this was all Europe

Following the science

‘We’re following the science.’

Following the science

‘We’re following the science.’

‘Before we go any further, I’ll need you to fill in this track-and-trace form.’

Track and trace

‘Before we go any further, I’ll need you to fill in this track-and-trace form.’

Track and trace

‘Can I have the steak and ale pie but without the steak pie?’

Steak and ale pie

‘Can I have the steak and ale pie but without the steak pie?’

Steak and ale pie

'The fruit shop has closed down, dear.’

The fruit shop has closed down, dear

'The fruit shop has closed down, dear.’

The fruit shop has closed down, dear

‘You’re right, it’s crap without the spectators.’

Crap without spectators

‘You’re right, it’s crap without the spectators.’

Crap without spectators

Punch & Judy social distancing

Punch & Judy social distancing