Dredge

‘All I said was “I could murder a pint.”’

‘We need cheering up, Grandpa – tell us about the Cuban Missile Crisis.’

‘Giles has been “worshipping from home” for the last three years.’

‘We haven’t let the Euro lottery win change our lives – we’re still on benefits.’

‘I’m required to score your pain levels from 0 to ten, 0 being no pain...’

‘Sorry I’m late – the wife’s funeral dragged on a bit.’

‘What’s wrong with me, Doc? I don’t feel anxious, depressed, suicidal or paranoid.’

‘Derek still works from home.’

‘I’m confused. Is not getting the winter fuel payment the same as assisted dying?’

‘Norman is a member of the local neighbourhood listen group.’

‘Our Terry always lights up the room.’

‘Clive has always been a flies-open sort of chap.’

‘We’ve got whisky and wild, wild women, but no cigarettes pal.’

‘And finally, some non BBC news...’

‘We met in a gender-neutral facility.’

‘I’m being stalked by a Netflix film crew.’

‘I wish they would keep music out of politics.’