Kipper Williams

‘You’ll be so rich that Peter Mandelson’s going to be fatally attracted to you.’

‘Inside every fat cat there’s a fatter cat trying to get out.’

‘I need to build up muscle strength so I can carry my water bottle’

‘So what led to these feelings of victimisation?’

‘It’s diversity gone mad.’

‘And it’s got an 85in TV screen in case we want to watch Glastonbury.’

‘I identify as a fish’

‘How come he still speaks to you?’

‘It’s that lovely couple we met in Birmingham.’

‘Have we got any books that aren’t about the Beatles?’

‘He wasn’t wearing a suit.’

‘Here comes our kettle.’