Background-checks
‘It will take a few minutes, I’m just running some background checks.’
Mark Wood
Wednesday
If he wasn’t a real boy, was he AI?
‘If he wasn’t a real boy, was he AI?’
You don’t realise how tough it is being a single grandparent
‘You don’t realise how tough it is being a single grandparent.’
Wednesday
Hand in your homework?
‘Hand in your homework? That service is only available online now.’
Wednesday
It’s never too early to get his name down for an NHS dentist
‘Not just a nursery place. It’s never too early to get his name down for an NHS dentist.’
Wednesday
Weight loss pen
‘No, that’s a weight loss pen. I have a pen pen somewhere...’
You need to build 2.5 houses every minute
‘To hit Labour’s target, you need to build 2.5 houses every minute.’
Wednesday
It was affecting their mental health
‘It was affecting their mental health, so I’ve had to rewrite history.’
Wednesday
It was a compromise to get him back in the office
‘It was a compromise to get him back in the office.’
Wednesday
Doom-scrolling
‘Can I go back to doom-scrolling, Mum?’
My corridor is always open
‘My corridor is always open.’
Wednesday
If Labour ring
‘If Labour ring, tell them we’re out.’
He’s fallen in with a bad crowd
‘He’s fallen in with a bad crowd.’
I can’t see Rachel Reeves lasting long
‘I can’t see Rachel Reeves lasting long.’
Wednesday
He has imaginary listeners
‘I’m worried about him. He has imaginary listeners.’
Wednesday
These spin-offs are never so good
‘These spin-offs are never so good.’
Wednesday
How did students find the time to enjoy the university experience without AI?
‘How did students find the time to enjoy the university experience without AI?’
Wednesday
This is our forever home
‘This is our forever home, so his bedroom is big enough for a 35-year-old.’
We’re enjoying our carefree lives
‘We’re enjoying our carefree lives now before we have grandchildren.’