Mark Wood

‘We had to remove the Hall of Mirrors because of complaints about body shaming.’

‘Oh my, you’ve grown a lot since I last saw you.’

‘You can’t complain to the chef, the kitchen is his safe space’

‘…the wheels on the electric bus go round and round, until it needs to charge…’

‘I don’t need it any more. I’ve gone cashless.’

‘When I said “they” are coming to dinner, there’s only one of them.’

‘Now lift your chin up to the ceiling, away from your phone.’

‘No thanks. While my phone is charging I use my tablet.’

‘Library? This is it.’

‘It was an awful afternoon. We follow each other on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, so we had nothing left to talk about.’

‘He’s a bit standoffish. It’s been a week and he hasn’t said a word.’

‘I don’t know about a book, but I have thousands of tweets in me.’