Q. I remember a time when one could be confident of reaching all one’s circle through an announcement in the personal columns of the Times – for example to say that one was not sending out Christmas cards but instead would be making a donation to charity. Or, indeed, where one would be spending one’s
Q. I have some fairly new friends who very generously invited me to stay with them in Turkey. They told me who would be coming and I was slightly dreading meeting up again with one man I haven’t seen since we were much younger. He was always patronising and a bit misogynistic, and – as
Q. We have been introduced to some fellow parents at our children’s school. They are not quite on our wavelength – very status conscious and money obsessed – but we want to stay on good terms because our children are friends. Like us, they have moved to the country from London and bought an old
Q. When my husband and I meet certain friends for lunch, the bill is always higher than it should be, since one friend orders about five different dishes because she’s never sure what she wants. She barely touches any of them. We don’t want to quibble when it comes to dividing the bill, but we
Q. American clients emailed saying they were coming to Europe this spring and inviting us and another couple on a fantastic-sounding boat trip in the eastern Mediterranean which we rather shamelessly accepted. Last week I got a further email saying, as the holiday was approaching, it was time to sort out the financial side of
Q. I am a 29-year-old gay man. About four months ago I met a man at least 30 years older than me. We have become very good friends with many shared interests. I am certain that my friend (let’s call him ‘Tom’) has enjoyed the friendship as much as I have. It has been entirely
Q. Since my wife and I went our separate ways I have had lots of social invitations. My ex always dealt with the thank-you letters and I am useless at getting around to writing them. Now a friend has introduced me to an app called ChatGPT which writes letters and even poems for you if
Q. I work part-time with a lovely girl (aged 27) in a tiny office. She is very nice and not too woke. But she wears cheap scent that has a ghastly, acrid smell and I feel like I’m ingesting poison. Mary, what do I do? – Name and address withheld A. Why not borrow a
Q. My mother is still mentally and physically sprightly at the age of 87. She is perfectly capable of living alone – indeed she has done so for the past 20 years. The problem is that she is still highly social but most of the London friends of her own vintage, some of whom lived
Q. I am considered to be a friendly and communicative person in everyday life. However I have a bad back and need to have the occasional hour-long massage to offset the tension of having to sit down at work all day. My assistant books me in for ‘full body relaxation massage’ at various spas and
Q. I have been horribly caught out with no one to blame but myself. I was sent a large electric blanket coat of the sort you can sit in on a sofa watching television. My family and I all thought it was hideous but I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the person who
Q. We have some friends whom we have casual suppers with on a fairly regular basis, just the four of us. Recently they sent a text inviting us ‘for supper’ and we turned up on the appointed evening to walk into a room filled with 20 other guests and formal tables set up. Not only
Q. I work at home and the other day was heading out to buy a sandwich when I ran into a friend outside a local restaurant. She invited me to join her, and one of my artist heroes, inside. I accepted but when we entered I could see that a man who I always try
Some of us still have stashes of traditional stamps which we were told would become redundant after 31 January. Royal Mail (whose CEO Simon Thompson is on £753,000 per annum) promised old ones could be exchanged for new, but the system has struggled to keep up with demand. Now a chaotic Royal Mail says there
Q. A very good friend, who has been incredibly generous in the past, is feeling the financial squeeze, particularly with the inflation we are all suffering. I would like somehow to contribute regularly to his monthly expenses but can’t think of a way to do this without offending him or getting a refusal from him.
Q. One of the most widely adored people I know is a single man in his fifties. He is brilliant and charming but neurotic about money – all our mutual friends joke about his ‘dusty wallet’. I have just heard from one of these, who had him to stay for five days after Christmas. He
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On the podcast this week: The Spectator’s deputy editor Freddy Gray writes the cover piece looking ahead to the possibility of another 6 years of President Biden. He is joined by Amie Parnes, senior staff writer at The Hill and co-author of Lucky: How Joe Biden barley won the presidency, to discuss whether anyone can stop Biden running in
Q. I have enjoyed strained relations with my sister-in-law over many years. This Christmas she has chosen to donate her £15 gift to my 16-year-old daughter to a local charity, previously unknown to us, without any prior consultation. She has provided the charity with my daughter’s name and a message supposedly from her. My daughter
From Julian Fellowes Q. Whenever anyone asks me how to get a project off the ground, I say that getting a film made is pretty hard. So often the response is: ‘But you did it!’ The argument is a tough one to refute, as the implication is that clearly I myself am not possessed of
Q. I’m dreading Christmas because my darling partner’s two middle-aged children (both unmarried) are coming to stay and they don’t get on. I don’t want to seem inhospitable by not offering them plenty to drink, but drink does always seem to be the trigger for their rows. What do you recommend, Mary? – Name and
