Nigel Farage’s speech at the UKIP conference – full text and audio
listen to ‘Nigel Farage’s speech at the Ukip conference’ on Audioboo
The Spectator
Friday
Thursday
carpet
‘My story? I didn’t go with the new carpet’
Bar
‘What do you mean “what’s the problem”? You’ve got a bar in your classroom!’
Food
‘No, I don’t have an eating disorder. The reason I’m not touching it is because you’re a lousy cook.’
Marriage 2
‘I now pronounce you man and secretary.’
Sherry
‘How sweet. He used to hate seeing his grandma but now he wants to come round here all the time.’
Unfaithful
Conch
‘Hey — I can hear the sea.’
Wheelchair
‘Wake up! You’re sleep-pushing again.’
Badger
Oedipuss
Cutwaway
‘No, that’s not a cutaway — I just had trouble getting the security tag off.’
Cryogenics
‘My tax-avoidance scheme will fund my death-avoidance scheme.’
sales
Letters: Alan Sked on party politics, and how to win a pony show
Party politics Sir: I don’t think it is true that I would be unhappy in any party, as Ross Clark suggests (‘The end of the party’ 14 September). I was very happy in the old Liberal party, which I joined as a 14-year-old and did not leave for almost 20 years. I then became a
Barometer | 19 September 2013
Vitamins and the veil A judge at Blackfriars Crown Court allowed a niqab-wearing defendant to identify herself only to a policewoman, and a Birmingham college reversed a ban on students wearing veils on the campus. While the debate rages, the Jordanian Centre for Diabetes, Endocrinology and Genetics has identified a hazard associated with the garments: