Sugar
‘This bag of white crystals I found in your room — please tell me it’s drugs, not sugar.’
The Spectator
Thursday
Girls
‘The point is, Mark, if you can’t stop checking out other girls I’m leaving you ...Mark, are you listening to me?’
Castle
‘Hold it! Take five! Wrong castle.’
Ophelia
‘Ophelia — what a lovely name.’
Whale
‘It could be just another benefit tourist.’
Ripout
‘The makeover involves ripping him out and starting again from scratch.’
Budget 2
‘Time to tighten our green belts.’
Alphabet
‘Apostrophes?’
Naughty
‘This is the naughty step.’
Ceiling
‘Henry, come down from there and meet your new babysitter.’
Letters | 21 March 2013
Joining the club Sir: As Robert Hardman notes (Royal notebook, 16 March), not only is the C back in FCO but these days there is a waiting list of countries interested in joining, or being more closely associated with, the Commonwealth. I have a list of at least half a dozen, and even some strong
Barometer | 21 March 2013
Big ask Birmingham Council asked residents, in a survey on wheelie bins, whether they were gay or bisexual. Some more nosey questions asked by councils: — Is your gender identity the same as the gender you were assigned with at birth? (Consultation into relief road near Manchester Airport) — Which of the following describes your
The empty Budget
Dangerous, unfair, verging on kleptomania: the bailout deal proposed by the EU at the weekend and rejected by Cyprus MPs on Tuesday is everything it has been described as over the past few days, and worse. Now it has been established that the EU views bank depositors as a potential piggy bank to be raided
Portrait of the week | 21 March 2013
Home In what he called a ‘fiscally neutral’ Budget, George Osborne, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, confronted a reduced forecast of gross domestic product for 2013 from 1.2 per cent to 0.6 per cent and a further delay until 2017-18 in reducing the burden of public sector debt, according to the Office for Budget Responsibility.
Wednesday
Budget 2013: George Osborne’s statement in full
Mr Deputy Speaker, this is a Budget for people who aspire to work hard and get on. It’s a Budget for people who realise there are no easy answers to problems built up over many years. Just the painstaking work of putting right what went so badly wrong. And together with the British people we
Sunday
Bookbenchers: Peter Lilley | 17 March 2013
Peter Lilley MP is the Conservative MP for Hitchin and Harpenden, and has been an MP since 1983. He was a Cabinet minister in both the Thatcher and Major governments, and today talks to us about Waugh, Tolstoy, and his quest for timeless literature. 1) Which book is on your bedside table at the moment?
Thursday
Supermarket
‘Wow! Look at the tax on that — it must be delicious.’
Tarzan
Tarzan of the apps