Claret, dogs and nothing to grouse about

What do you get if you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac and an agnostic? Someone who wakes up at 4 a.m. and says: ‘Is there a dog?’ There was a lot of dog talk this weekend, and about the tributes they bring to their owners in the shooting field. A South African who had just enjoyed his first days at the grouse, walked up and driven, was incoherent with joy, especially as he had made a respectable contribution to the bag.

The Afrikaners have always been an embattled race. God usually directs them to the windy side of the hill. When they do find some refuge to enjoy a settled life, perhaps planting a few vines, they often become lyrical about hemel en aarde: heaven on earth. Although the wine country around Stellenbosch is hauntingly beautiful, my earthly paradise is in Dorset, even if it has to import its own wine.

Friends had just returned from the far abroad, so they had not yet eaten any grouse. This was rectified, with young birds cooked rare after a very brief hanging. That led to the usual discussion. For its first few hours, a grouse will have a slightly metallic taste, which is to be avoided. Thereafter, it is a matter of preference. A fresh young grouse has a delicious sweetness; you can almost taste the heather, and the legs will be gamey. But if you want the full kick of gaminess, hanging is essential. I think that this is the right way to treat older birds.

There is another endless debate. Are grouse better hot or cold? They certainly freeze well. I prefer: the version which I have eaten most recently. Nicholas Soames recently expressed some interesting views on grouse, on which he speaks with authority.