‘An exceptional roast lunch’: Quality Chop House reviewed

The oldest and best chophouse in London was Simpson’s Tavern in Ball Court Alley off Cornhill (since 1757 on that site): Charles Dickens’s favourite chophouse, and mine. Simpson’s was locked out by landlords who impersonate cartoon villains at the end of 2022 for failing to pay pandemic arrears promptly. Simpson’s said they survived world wars, the plague and the Industrial Revolution, but not a landlord who doesn’t understand chops. (This part I paraphrase.)

Court proceedings are ongoing: meanwhile it’s a ruin. It was vandalised in May, as these things tend to be. Now it is empty, and ornamental books tumble out of smashed windows. My ideal reader would consider bidding for the freehold, or Simpson’s will end up selling socks to idiots. It looked like an AI representation of an ideal 18th-century London restaurant and soon that is all we will have to remember it.

There are still chophouses in London – Blacklock and Hawksmoor are the best of the new ones – but none has the charm of Simpson’s. It was bustling and irregular, and the small rooms filled with steam that smelled of custard. I think the kitchen was staffed by friendly Victorian ghosts. I ate there in 2022, but did not file the review before it closed, and could not file it afterwards, because you cannot dine in a ghost restaurant. I remember huge portions of simple flavours: blood and sugar. I ate a Barnsley chop for £14.25 and apple crumble. We were moved outside for coffee, since a table of four had arrived, but with such goodwill – the coffee was a gift from the house – that we didn’t accept that we were outside until the temperature dropped, and at service like that I marvel.