For perhaps the first time in my life I have experienced ‘fomo’ – fear of missing out. It is strange to feel this teenage sentiment now I am safely in my forties, and even odder that it should occur in relation to a party political conference in Liverpool. Yet as I sat watching videos from Your Party’s first conference this week, there was no way to avoid the feeling that I had missed out on something big – a feeling only intensified by the likelihood that Your Party’s first conference will also be its last.
It isn’t often in political life that people actually announce that they are mad
It pains me that I should have missed out on the opportunity to see some of this week’s events in person – beginning with the fact that party founders Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana fell out before the conference began, with Sultana boycotting its first day. Perhaps because of this infighting, the party members ended up voting for neither MP to lead the party and instead approved a model of ‘collective leadership’.
Watching the people who took to the podium gives you some idea of how well this ‘collective leadership’ is likely to go. For instance, there was a gangly young chap who introduced himself by saying that his name is Joseph and that he uses ‘she/they’ pronouns. Joseph next mentioned that he comes from West Yorkshire but had recently moved to Edinburgh. He stated this last detail in that style of ‘upspeak’ which left the impression – accentuated by a slight pause afterwards – that Joseph either wasn’t sure if he had recently moved to Edinburgh, or imagined that such a move deserved some ovation.
Without doubt Joseph was a star of the conference. While first on stage he wore what appeared to be a hand-knitted bobble-hat in the colours of the Pride flag. This probably gave the audience some hint as to whether Joseph belonged to the Islamic wing of the party or the trans wing of the party. (That’s not to say that these two wings cannot get along, of course: Your Party is evidence that they can get along perfectly well for several minutes.)
Joseph informed conference that when it came to the party’s organisational strategy, he was advocating for ‘Option A’, which would allow it to stand candidates as widely as possible. He acknowledged the concerns of some delegates with this option, including the possibility that it will ‘allow transphobic and racist and otherwise bigoted candidates to stand in the name of Your Party’. He went on to refer to two MPs who he said ‘had recently resigned after making transphobic comments’. At this point the chairwoman tried to cut him off – a move that the Your Party chairpeople had to grow used to.
Allowed back on stage later – this time without his hat – Joseph was one of a number of speakers who admitted to being a member of something called ‘Socialist Alternative’ and thus ‘very against the purges of our comrades in the Socialist Workers party’.
Another star of conference was a Scouser whose name and sex appeared indeterminate. They announced themselves as ‘a non-binary person’, at which point she (on re-watching it I’m inclining towards ‘she’) shouted: ‘Give it up for the trans people everybody!’ Some of the hall whooped. Egged on, the speaker continued: ‘Thank you, comrades. And it’s an honour and a privilege to be stood speaking on this podium today. The reason I am saying yes to socialism in this political statement is because as a trans comrade, as a disabled comrade, as a mad comrade, as a neurodivergent comrade…’ It isn’t often in political life that people actually announce that they are mad, though it certainly provides their critics with a shortcut.
Not that Your Party needs outside critics. There are enough on the inside. Last month, MPs Adnan Hussain and Iqbal Mohamed quit Your Party for reasons that are, like every-thing else, disputed. Sadly, when Sultana finally did speak to the conference she found herself heckled over the loss of these MPs. A male Muslim speaker from the floor insisted there had been a purge of people with ‘conservative’ views.
Lest anyone fall into the misunderstanding that Your Party has been infiltrated by the Conservative party, a solution to the riddle was soon provided. It appears that Hussain quit because – unforeseeably – he wasn’t fully on board the trans train. Which in turn led Sultana to accuse him of ‘bigotry’. With this now finally out in the open, Sultana responded by accusing her Muslim interrupter of misogyny. ‘Sorry, this is my speech,’ she said, truthfully enough. ‘It is misogyny. It is misogyny.’ At which point another activist started shouting: ‘We should not be screaming over each other.’
Outside the main hall a young white woman in a keffiyeh confronted Corbyn to clear up the question of whether or not he is ‘anti-Zionist and anti-imperialist’. A clearly frustrated Corbyn said: ‘Look, I’m fed up with being painted into a corner as being some kind of pro-Zionist.’ If you, or anyone you know, has ever spotted that corner or that paint then write in and I will send you a cash prize.
Amid a gathering crowd, Corbyn’s tormentor pushed on. A man with the distinction of being the former leader of both the Labour party and now of Your Party was put through a struggle session over his anti-Zionist credentials. This included the charge that he has been insufficiently supportive of ‘the resistance in Palestine’. Eventually Corbyn exploded: ‘What do you think I’ve spent my life doing?’ It was both a plaintive question and an easy one to answer. What Corbyn and his friends have spent their lives doing – most recently with Your Party – is trying to smelt electoral gold from incompatible metals.
Perhaps my regret at not attending this year’s conference should be overridden by pity for those who were let in. Most of them seemed to be the sort of people who should never be allowed out.
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