Q. I recently attended with my wife the summer party of a London literary society. The event offered wine and buffet supper between 6 and 9 p.m. Arriving at 6.50 we found the buffet table almost stripped bare, with guests seated around it, munching copiously, à la Babette’s Feast. Food stocks were not replenished. Therefore I ate nothing. For next time, should the organising committee be asked to delay food, or should one expect to join a hungry queue outside well before six o’clock?
Name and address withheld
A. No, let this party continue in the normal civilised manner without queuing or introducing elements of tension over inadequate suppliers. Perhaps this year, as a feature of the recession, the buffet was stripped bare by human locusts by 6.50 p.m. But, taken by surprise in this way, what could the organisers have done? Had Sloane Rangers been in charge of catering they would have hot-footed it to Waitrose and brought back some ready-roasted chickens, bagged salad, baguettes and squirty Hellmans, but a literary society party of this kind is likely to have been organised by gormless interns. Next year they will know better. One is sympathetic to those whose palates were primed to receive a buffet supper and found instead a bare table. Yet was there not still the wine, the other guests and the laughter? The expression ‘get a life’ springs to mind.
Q. Mary, can you suggest a way of forcing together a couple who are clearly made for each other yet neither of them realises it? I have just spent a week at a house party at which these two single guests were both present. They went on long walks together every day, and talked as though they had known each other all their lives. Yet they seem oblivious to their compatibility, as they made no arrangements to see each other when back in London, despite the fact that they live very near each other. Mary, how can I force things forward? They are both good friends of mine but I have never thought of matching them before.
Name and address withheld
A. Ask if you can go and stay with one of them in London. Make sure they are both available. Give dinner in the house of the one you are staying with for the one you are not. After dinner, feign weakness and ask them both to come and lie on your bed with you and chat. Make sure you are at the edge of the bed so they are forced into physical proximity. Sometimes enforced intimacy of this kind is all that is necessary to show a couple what is what.
Q. I’m a professional astronomer who sometimes gives lectures to the general public and I’d suggest a clarification of your advice to J.M. (11 July 2009). I don’t know who gave that lecture but academic speakers often allow the odd question during a talk, so try this. First, quietly ask the person to your right. Failing that, try your left. If neither can answer, it’s possible the lecturer has misjudged the audience, so raise your hand. If the audience is misjudged, others will be emboldened. Speakers are also often happy to chat to audience members afterwards. Our aims are old-fashioned Reithian ones (even if the delivery is sometimes admittedly less polished than that of a television presenter), and we’d rather be understood than not.
S.S., the Open University
A. Thank you for shedding light on this issue.
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