Q. I am 44 and, for various reasons, have been single for about five years, but I now have a girlfriend. When people ring to invite me to dinner, I would like to say, ‘I have a girlfriend now. Can I bring her?’, but I do not want to embarrass anyone since I am well aware that one of the reasons I receive so many invitations is because people like to have a spare man at the table. On the other hand, I wonder whether maybe some of my hosts would like to meet my wonderful girlfriend and might be quite happy to invite her too. How should I sound people out, Mary, without putting them on the spot?
T.T., Edinburgh
A. Reply, ‘Oh, no, I’m busy that night, but maybe I can get out of it. The thing is I’ve just left a message for my new girlfriend asking her to do something that night but she hasn’t got back to me yet to say yes or no. Tell you what — I’ll chase her now and if she’s busy, I’d love to come.’ This gives your host the chance to say, ‘Oh, do bring her,’ or, ‘Well, I would invite her too but we are a bit short of men.’ Gradually your surplus of invitations will diminish.
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers? If you are short of money, as I am, why not invest in an air ticket from Heathrow to Buenos Aires with British Airways? There is only one flight a day and the flight is always overbooked. The airline will ask for volunteers who do not mind delaying their departure to come forward and will pay you £500 and put you up in a hotel until the next day’s flight when you can volunteer once again to stay over in London. I did this recently because I was not in a hurry to get to Buenos Aires and it really was most enjoyable. I stayed at a very good hotel in Heathrow and went in and out of London during the day, ate for free and made a total of £1,500 profit. Of course, it helps that I have family in Argentina but even if you do not, it is still a lovely place to go to and is cheap when you’re there. The flight is around £700.
Name and address withheld
A. Thank you for passing on this tip.
Q. I have taken a job as a PA to someone who is, I hope — although I am not yet sure — essentially a perfectly nice person. The trouble is she is new to money and does not quite know how to behave. For instance she has twice asked me to buy tickets to high-profile events and invite certain people. She then decided she would like to invite some more people. On finding out the events were sold out she asked me to dump some people from the original list to make way for the ‘hotter’ ones. Were it not for the fact that I cannot afford to leave this well-paid job, I would have resigned on the spot. So Mary, how can I make sure this does not happen again?
Name and address withheld
A. Next time simply tell her that photo ID will be required to gain admittance to these high-profile events and that, for security reasons, no name changes will be permitted.
If you have a problem write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP.
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