Q. Often at parties strangers bear down on me looking excited and are then offended when I don’t recognise them. This is because I have never actually met them – they have just seen me on television and made the mistake of thinking we know each other. To say ‘I think you’re confused because you’ve seen me on television’ sounds patronising so I don’t. I then see their faces fall as I don’t ask the right questions and we go up conversational cul de sacs. Advice?
– Name and address withheld
A. Put them right gently by looking excited yourself and saying: ‘We’ve seen each other on television haven’t we?’ As they reply, ‘Well I’m not on television but you are…’, their mistake will dawn on them.
Q. Is it rude to leave a small (60 people) drinks party without saying goodbye to the host? The other night I had to leave one after only an hour to catch a non-negotiable train. I thought it would be the wrong vibe to be saying goodbye when others were still arriving, so I quietly headed for the front door. Unfortunately there was a group on the doorstep waiting to come in. They all began screaming: ‘You can’t leave! We’re just arriving. Why are you leaving?’ Then our host appeared and joined in with the rebukes. None of them seemed able to accept the concept that I just needed to catch that train.
– H.R., London SW7
A. It is always best not to say goodbye to anyone, let alone the host, when leaving a drinks party.
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