Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: how can I deter the creep at my pub quiz?

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issue 17 August 2024

Q. I have been pitched into a social dilemma regarding Glyndebourne, which I live near to but don’t go to often. A friend (who lives in Kent) asked me a while ago to be his plus-one at a young person’s wedding local to me. He mentioned he might try to get two last-minute tickets for Glyndebourne the next day (we always go Dutch) but I did not express much interest. Then a neighbour invited me to join him and a couple he knows at Glyndebourne for that same next day and I accepted. Now my friend from Kent wants to still try for a ticket and join our group. He doesn’t drive and would need a lift. I don’t want to look as if I have encouraged a stranger to barge into the other quite conventional man’s Glyndebourne group. Moreover it is Wagner – six hours. Help!

– E.S., Sussex

A. Soften the blow of rejection by enthusing that he can stay another night with you so you can have a marvellous post-mortem. Gush that he can easily take an Uber to Glyndebourne and back as you won’t be able to risk introducing him to your group. Your control-freak host would insist on him joining for the picnic etc, but would then resent you for adding an unknown quantity into the human cocktail he has prepared.

Q. I was flying from Stansted on a very early flight to join a house party abroad and a fellow guest, who lives near the airport, kindly suggested I stay – not quite the night, as we had to set off at 3 a.m.

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