Dear Mary: is it rude to listen to sport at a wedding?

Q. We live in the countryside, where the door is always open. Last week when it was sunny we had a drinks party in the garden. Despite our leaving a notice on the front door saying ‘In the garden’, most people rang the doorbell (waking up our grandchild and making the dogs bark) and waited on the doorstep to be greeted. I was busy trying to pour drinks and introduce people. It’s not a big house but I must have walked 10,000 steps. What should I have done?

– Name and address withheld

A. A certain type of person lacks the confidence to proceed unescorted into a household. Next time, ask a tongue-tied teenager to sit outside the front door, blocking access to the bell and telling arriving guests to just go on through. Many teenagers would welcome the chance to duck conversational engagement and instead continue scrolling at a sentry post. It will also be good for the teenager to practise looking people in the eye while explaining where to go.

Q. At a recent wedding, I noticed a man with an earpiece in his ear. He talked to nobody on his table, and it emerged that he was listening in to the England match. He continued to do this throughout the speeches, and made no attempt to hide his excitement. I was appalled by this behaviour, but said nothing. What could I have done to show my displeasure – or was silent disapproval the only way?

– P.W., London NW1

A This behaviour is so beyond rudeness that it suggests the offender is mad rather than bad. Nevertheless, a wedding is supposed to be a happy and celebratory occasion and is not the place for a confrontation. Showing your disapproval would have been inappropriate. You were right to ignore him.