Once again Mary has invited some of her favourite figures in the public eye to submit personal queries for her attention.
From Jesse Norman MP
Q. We’ve been having a little local difficulty at work with one or two colleagues who vigorously assert their loyalty to the organisation, but then go and join a would-be competitor. It’s not that this is bad for morale; on the contrary. But it confuses some of our customers. Your advice would be most welcome.
A. Take the tip of a top industrialist who never tried to refuse a resignation: congratulate the deserter effusively on his decision and declare publicly that he and his new organisation will make an excellent fit and wish him well. Finish with the wise words of Sacha Guitry: ‘When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.’
From Tom Hodgkinson, Idler Academy
Q. I have started my own academy where adults can learn skills such as ukulele, philosophy and calligraphy. This venture has every appearance of success: it will doubtless make money one day. I am completely free. The mother of my children is beautiful and interesting, and so are her issue. Best of all, I have not had a job since 1997. So what is my problem? Put simply, I am skint. I have been reduced to hoping to be invited to Sunday lunch with the in-laws so I can stuff my face with lamb and potatoes and thereby avoid the expense of supper. Any advice on how I can earn more money, Mary, and ‘monetise my content’?
A. You are well positioned to monetise your huge data bank of contacts instead. There is a gap in the market for a ‘nonline’ literary match-making agency. The academy would make a perfect venue for singleton evenings involving two-handed teams of strangers, recruited and paired by you, tackling jigsaws and quizzes at tiny desks.
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